AN: I was recently routing around in all my old folders and scouring the metaphorical corners of my computer in a good old fashioned clean out, which I later gave up half way through, when I came across one of the greatest pieces of fiction I have ever written, unfotunately it was promptly lost in the TARDIS like confines of my filing system so I decided to post this other old one insted. It's been gathering dust on my hard drive for a while so please excuse any musty prose.
This is set in season 9, just a little Abby centred fic.
Disclaimer: None of it is mine.
Escape Route
She had never had stability in her life. Even when Maggie was on her meds and Eric was settled in school it was always around the corner. It was difficult to relax when you were constantly preparing for the rainy day you knew was coming. Money tucked in her socks, emergency numbers programmed into the phone, and a quick and easy way out.
As soon as she entered a new apartment or motel room she was planning the escape route in her head. How long it would take to reach the door from the kitchen, the best place for Eric to sleep to facilitate their getaway and where they would go once they were outside.
Within a few days of moving she would know the telephone numbers and addresses of all the local police stations, hospitals, fire brigades, any community service she could find. She had a list of excuses a mile long for why she was not at school or why Eric was upset or why they were unbearably hungry that she could rattle off without a thought.
It bothered her that the lies and pretending were like second nature. Some days she looked at Maggie playing with Eric and a bitter hatred filled her. Maggie never openly acknowledged the role Abby played in Eric's upbringing yet he looked at her with such an intense love that he never showed his sister. Maggie did not deserve his unconditional love. On those days she wondered why she bothered protecting her.
Other days she felt scared. Like when Maggie would scream at them for nothing or tear up Eric's homework in front of his face, she would trash motel rooms, leave the gas on, bring home strange men that stayed late into the night or simply disappear for days at a time. Those were the days that seemed to last forever, the ones when Maggie was gone.
When Maggie took her medication and cuddled her children and told them how much she loved them Abby felt guilty. They would do so many fun things that other parents would never allow like paint the walls or camp out in the living room. Thinking back to those she realised that Eric may not have been the only one to love their mother unconditionally.
It never stopped her planning. The crushing guilt, the fear, the resentment towards her lost childhood because nothing in the world would ever stop her from keeping her brother safe. She would always protect Eric from their mother.
Until years later there is nothing she can do. He is sick and needs help that she cannot possibly provide. She tries so hard and loses someone she loved because she would not let the disease take him like it took their mother.
Carter never came back from Africa.
Eric won't come back from this.
So she sits with him in a motel room after a three week absence. He lies crumpled and broken on the bed, unshaven, his clothes are wrinkled and he is unpleasant to stand close to but she cannot bring herself to plan an escape route. She is with him until the end.