Yay! HikaHaru-ness -dreamy face-...even though, you know..it isn't exactly a happy one...
It must be known that this fic is part of a multi-pairing, multi-fandom series I'm calling 'Sing for me', because each of the fics are based on a song. Hope that you like it, and don't forget to review!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Because if I did HikaHaru would be canon...
Song: Payphone
Artist: Maroon5
PAYPHONE
You punch at the keys, a seven, a six, a nine, then a five. You stab at the rest completing the phone number that you unknowingly memorized the first time that you saw it. Desperately, you listen to it ring, hoping, praying that she will pick up. Come on, you think. Come on, pick up, pick up. You stand rooted to the spot as the busy tone blares in your ear again. You swear angrily and slam the phone down, and try to reign in your anger.
You take a deep breath and try to calm down, when you see your reflection in the glass that makes up the phone booth. Dishevled hair. Knitted eyebrows. And hopeless eyes. You yell in frustration and slam your fist against it. Furiously, you grab another British coin out of your pocket and force it down the telephone's coin slot. You punch in the same numbers again and wait, only to be greeted by the same thing. Thrice. Accursed. Busy tone. Instead of roughly putting it down, you place it down gently, and swing your fist back, intending to beat the phone's light's out when a strong hand grabs your wrist and yanks you out of the booth and into the rain. You round onto the person and are about to punch them when you see the familiar dark hair and eyes. "Mori-sempai." You mutter sulkily, shaking your wet hair out of your eyes as the rain beats down on you. "What are you doing here?"
He gives you a once over, and hands you an umbrella similar to the one he is holding over his head. "Looking for you." He says in his deep voice as he turns around and walks down the street. "The others got worried. Haruhi too."
You bark a sarcastic laugh that causes Mori-sempai to look at you with raised eyebrows. "Keh. That's funny. Haruhi's in Japan." Mori shakes his head and continues on his way.
"They called earlier."
You feel annoyance bubble up inside your chest, but you know better than to take it out on Mori. Partially because you know that he'll kick your ass, partially because you'd rather go to hell than be on the receiving end of Honey-sempai's wrath if you offends Mori in some way. You let him walk ahead of you as you stuff the umbrella into your coat pocket. You stare upwards at the sky as the rain continues pouring downwards on you, streaking your cheeks. Damnit. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit!
You always mess it up. Every single damn time she gave you a chance, you messed it up. The first time when you met her friend when you were with her during break. Again when Kaoru tried to set you two up. Damnit! Idiot, moron, dobe, baka, teme!
Subconsciously you stop walking, and your nails dig into the skin on your palms. And the most important chance you had, you blew it. Again. But this time, you didn't just miss out on spending another precious moment with her. You lost her. For good. To that lucky, blonde, half-French SOB.
You shake your head furiously. No. You're acting like a child again, you scold yourself, bowing your head. Strands of your soaked bronze hair falls into your eyes. Kaoru's right. You're still a child. Still a child who forces his emotions on others because that's the only way you know how to communicate. Boss knew how. That's how he got her, ne? You smile to yourself as you remember something else. You were terrible at reading the subtle hints that people give. You still are. You thought that you had all the time in the world. You thought that you had no competition. Keh. 'Give Daddy a big hug' your ass. You couldn't take it. Seeing them together every single day. Every single time that they would get together. Every single time, he would get a cruel reminder of what he couldn't do, and what Boss had done effortlessly.
You remember what Kaoru told you that Halloween. That Halloween that feels like a lifetime ago. The analogy of the pumpkin and of midnight. He said that it would end in a happy ending. Liar. Liar, liar, liar. You promised that you wouldn't lie to me Kaoru, you think. What the hell were you thinking of, telling me something like that? That possibility of a 'happy ending' made you dream. Dream of a fairy tale happy ending of the handsome prince finding his princess in a commoner girl in disguise. Nope. Well, the commoner turned princess got her happy ending. Except instead of a Duke, she got a King.
You look up and realize that you had started walking again, and are now standing across the street from Big Ben, the famous clock tower. Your gut twists in agony. Ten minutes until midnight. Ten minutes before the spell would be broken. Ten more minutes before you would turn your back on them for good.
You weren't in London just because you wanted to get away from the pain, or the constant reminder of your failure. No. You were in London on business. You were going to take over the European branch of Mother's fashion business. By yourself. You haven't told anyone. Only Mother knows, and she hasn't told because you asked her not to. Sorry Kaoru, you think, walking over to stare out at water running under the channel. Sorry for not telling you beforehand. But it was for your own good Kaoru. You love Japan too much. I don't want you to suffer because of me.
Exhaling slowly, you flex your fingers as the cold water finally gets to you, numbing your hands, your arms, your entire body. Maybe it would be for the best. Numbing yourself so that you don't feel. Don't feel the shame when you see their accusing eyes when you tell them to leave. Don't feel the loneliness when they're gone for good. Don't feel pain of regret.
As you make your way to the bridge, you notice a lone phone booth standing in the rain. Walking into it, you take your last coin and slip it into the payphone. Once again, you punch in the all too familiar numbers, trying one last time to reach through. You stop breathing for a minute, fearing that the sound of you inhaling and shivering will drown out the sound of her picking up her phone. After what feels like hours of standing there, you release your held breath in despair, when you realize that no one is going to pick up. You're about to hang up when you hear a voice on the line.
"Moshimoshi." you hear her voice coming from the phone and you jump in surprise. Slowly, almost mechanically, you raise the phone to your ear and don't say a word as she continues to talk. "Moshimoshi? Is anyone there?"
"Haruhi." You say softly, more to yourself than to her.
"Hikaru? What are you doing? Where were you? Tamaki called Kaoru earlier and he said that you disappeared." She asks in concern, but you stopped listening when you hear Boss's name.
"Haruhiii! Who are you talking to? Is it Kaoru? Did Hikaru show up?"
You grit your teeth together when you hear his voice, but you manage to keep your mouth shut. You manage not to add to your ever growing pile of regrets. You can hear them talking to each other in the background but you're desperately trying to tune them out. Because if you listen, your resolve will falter. If you listen, you're never going to stay away. If you listen, you'll never be able to forget.
"Hikaru, are you still there? Are you alright?" Haruhi's question shocks you out of your frozen stupor. You smirk bitterly to yourself. Sometimes you wonder if she's psychic, the way she can always tell if something is eating at someone. Normally you'd tell her…but not this time.
"Gomenasai, Haru-chan. I-"
"Please insert another pound for an additional five minutes."
You flinch away from the phone as the pre-recorded, robotic voice blares in your ears, cutting you off. Suddenly, you hear the sound of a bell tolling. Standing stiffly, you count as the bell sounds. Ichi. Ni. San. Yon. Go. Roku. Nana. Hachi. Kyu. Ju. Ju-ichi. Ju-ni. You count. Twelve. It's midnight. "Looks like the spell's broken, Haruhi. I guess I can add that to my growing pile of regrets…"
You step out of the phone booth as the last droplets of rain cascade down. Staring up at the moon, you find a small comfort knowing that it's the same sky that she'd be looking up at.
"I love you Fujiyoka Haruhi. I'm sorry I couldn't say that to you one last time…"
:(
Reviews are loved and appreciated!
-moony
Other titles in 'Sing for me'
Never gonna be alone: Naruto (SasuSaku)
Don't want an Ending: Avatar: The Last Airbender (Zutara)
and more to come! :3