Unimaginable pain ribs through my entire body. Every one of my muscles screams in agony. I can't take any more of this! It's like Thredson is torturing me all over again, like I'm back in that godforsaken basement with his hands all over me. I hate him and I hate this child he put inside me!
The nurses encourage me to push, to just get it over with, but all I can do is sob. I wish my Wendy was here to hold my hand, but I'm all alone. Thredson's taken everything from me. I've always been a fighter but right now I want to give up.
"Come on Lana, just one more bi push and it'll be over!" Her ignorant words spark something inside of me. My urge to strangle her is surprisingly overwhelming.
I just want her to shut the hell up. "Fuck you! You don't understand; it'll never be over!"
As I lean up on my palms to continue yelling, a pain, so intense I see stars, washes over me. It's like I'm being torn in half! Scream after scream tare from my throat and I'm startled when I don't hear the cries of a baby joining mine.
The agony subsides but I still pulse from pain. The nurses are taking in hushed whispers. "He's not breathing. Someone call the doctor."
"Is he dead?" my voice cracks as I manage to speak through a coughing fit.
"Just lay back Miss Winters, everything is going to be alright." That stupid fucking bitch doesn't know anything. Nothing is going to be alright.
As I lie back on the cold hospital bed, pain fills my body once again, though not as sharp as before. "What the hell?!"
"Please just try to stay calm Miss Winters." An older man, presumably the doctor, walks in. "I know you requested no men to be present during delivery, but this is an emergency. You're having twins and that puts tremendous stress on your body as well as the babies'. We want to ensure the survival of you and your second child."
Twins…Well the cosmic joke never ends does it? I can't think straight anymore. I can't feel anything but the pain in my body and soul. So I just lie back and let the doctor do what he has to.
xxxxxxx
There are precisely 126 little white tiles on the hospital room ceiling. I've counted and examined each one of them while I simply stare up, waiting to go home. My body still aches but the medication the nurses give me dulls it a bit. All I want is to take a warm bath with my Wendy and go to sleep, but I've been cursed to exist in this terrible reality.
A knock at the door pulls me from my sorrow for a moment. The ignorant nurse from the delivery is standing there with a panicked look on her face and a tiny pink bundle in her arms. "I told you I don't want to see her!"
"I know, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't absolutely necessary. She's allergic to the formula and she just won't stop crying. I thought maybe if she suckled she'd feel better. I'm sorry, I'll leave now."
Small, soft cries emanate from behind the blanket. She sounds so weak, I can't help but thinking that she's a victim too. Before I'm completely aware of what I'm doing, I hold out my arms for my child. "Give her to me."
The nurse cautiously places the little girl in my arms. She doesn't weigh very much; she's the smallest, most delicate baby I've ever seen. She looks up at me with eyes that are the color of honey and scrunches up her button nose. Her chubby cheeks are rosy and her little lips are flower petal pink. She is by far the most beautiful creature to have ever graced this planet. And she is mine.
A tugging in my chest, a strange flutter and warmth in my heart, prompts me to hold my daughter closer. I want to shield her from the horrors of the world. I never want her to know pain or fear or the darkness of men's hearts.
I just want to keep her close to me. She's an angel among demons, a light in the storm, my precious little girl. I won't let anyone take her from me.
Tears stream down my cheeks as my daughter nuzzles against me, suckling easily. Her crying has calmed and she seems at peace. The nurse mistakes my tears for those of sorrow. "I'm so sorry Miss Winters, I can take her back now."
"No." I say softly, so as not to disturb my daughter. "I've changed my mind. I'm going to keep her."
The nurse seems stunned at first, but then she smiles widely. "She's just irresistible isn't she? I'll alert Saint Ursula's." on her way out the door the nurse turns back to me. "Have you chosen a name?"
I gaze down at my tiny miracle. She has tuffs of light chestnut hair and pale white skin. She looks nothing like Thredson, or even like me. She looks like Wendy. "Erica Wendy Winters."