Romeo and Juliet: A Parody
Al-X
ACT 1
Romeo was always such an emo, so he surprised the world when he suddenly got a Mohawk that was 85 different colors, put on some sunglasses, wore trippy clothes, and started playing some insane guitar. He was a Montague, the enemy of Capulet. Being rejected by Rosaline, he decided to completely change his lifestyle. One day, after one of his concerts, he was walking down the street when he ran into a servant of Capulet. The servant dropped a piece of paper he was carrying and ran off, scared of the weirdo with colorful hair. Romeo picked it up. It was an invitation to the Capulets' party. He decided to go crash it. When he got to the party, there were some crazy awesome people playing music. He was slightly confused, because they were Japanese, and no Japanese people lived in Verona that he knew of. He asked a servant about them, and he said that they were an extremely popular band in Japan and that Capulet's daughter, Juliet, was completely obsessed with them. He laughed and went to go listen to them. Their music was really cool, and since Romeo was so smart, he understood every word. He caught on to the chorus and began singing along. Suddenly, he was aware of someone beside him, also singing along. She was beautiful. Romeo fell in love with the Japanese speaking girl at once. They talked for a while, and stopped their conversation for a change in music. This time, there was only one Japanese man on the small stage. The girl next to Romeo squealed, and started jumping up and down shouting "Yay! Gackt!" The man started singing, and the girl turned to Romeo excitedly. "This is my favorite song of his! Vanilla!" Romeo listened to the lyrics, and immediately became frightened of the girl. He ran away to Mantua, and lived there, playing his music until he was recruited to come to Japan. He accepted.
ACT 2
Five years later, after he had preformed one night, he exited out a back door into an alley and was confronted. He recognized her. Of course, how could he forget? It was the girl from Capulet's party. But why had she followed him there? He asked her just that.
"I'm in love with you. You are a Montague, and I am a Capulet, but I don't care. I want to marry you, Romeo."
He accepted, and they moved back to Verona. They had some epic parties, and Romeo decided they would marry very soon. Juliet, for that was her name, wanted her old friend to be the one to marry them. As they walked to the church, they were stopped by a tall, dark stranger wearing a hooded black robe and carrying a strange doll with pointed ears. He laughed a very menacing laugh before speaking.
"My name is Tybalt. I forbid you to marry my cousin Juliet. Her father has promised her to Paris. Muahahahahahahaha………………"
Juliet screamed and hid behind Romeo. He took a protective stance and pulled out his sword. Just then, his old friend Mercutio popped out from behind a shrubbery.
ACT 3
Mercutio drew his sword, and yelled to Tybalt that there was no way he could get in the lovers' way. Tybalt got really p.o.'ed and lunged at Mercutio, swinging his sword as he flew. They started a hugely epic ninja fight. Mercutio seemed to be winning, but suddenly, Tybalt made some crazy weird hand signs. A weird substance flew from his hands and impaled Mercutio, who died instantly. Romeo screamed a very odd scream, pulled out a ninja knife, and threw it at Tybalt. It hit him in the heart, and he died. The ninja dictator of Verona told Romeo to get his butt out before he died an epicly painful and lasting death. Romeo ran away, with Juliet at his side. Just before they made it to the gate, an old man stopped them. He looked like an old wizard, out of some creepy magic book. He threw back his hood and started laughing. Well, it was more of a hacking type of laugh. He turned to the couple menacingly.
"I am the almighty Paris! I want Juliet to come marry me and become my sixth wife! Her father has given me permission to take her from the dirty Montague! He grabbed Juliet and they disappeared in a puff of smoke. Romeo swore explicitly and raced to the Friar's house. The Friar told him to go wait in Mantua, so he did.
ACT 4
Juliet went to the Friar's house to ask him for help. He came up with an evil plan and decided to concoct a potion for Juliet to fake her death, after she threatened to kill herself in an epic way if he didn't help her. He thanked her for the idea and sent her home, telling her to come back tomorrow.
After Juliet left, the Friar went into his illegal garden and found all the ingredients he needed. He went into his potion room and started mixing the potion, all the while feeling very evil. Once it was done, he set it out to bubble and waited for Juliet. When she arrived, he gave it to her. She went home and drank it. The Friar sent a messenger to Romeo in Mantua to tell him what happened.
The next morning, Juliet's family came in to get her ready for the wedding they had arranged without telling her. There was one slight problem; she was 'dead.' Everyone cried a lot, and they put her in the deep-dark-unheard-of-before Capulet tomb.
ACT 5
Romeo was waiting in Mantua, when his servant showed up. The servant told Romeo that Juliet was dead and that she was in the Capulets' tomb. Romeo got really emo and started crying. He started back to Verona to say goodbye to his love, stopping by a poison shop before leaving.
The Friar's messenger came back and told him that he'd gotten jumped and the message was taken from him. The Friar swore worse than Romeo had earlier and raced at lightspeed to the tomb. He beat Romeo there and waited. When Romeo got there, the Friar explained everything to him. They waited for Juliet to wake up. She did, so they got married, moved to Japan, and had twins. THE END