Hey guys! Today I had a half day so I thought I would make a one-shot for ya! Now don't blame me if its suckie but…yea! This is based on episode 102 with my own little twists! (English dub…couldn't find the Japanese version…sigh)
Naruto: Is this going to be funny…
Sasuke: Or is it going to be your sad attempt at funny.
Saki-chan:…That's your choice!
Sakura: Hmm…
Saki-chan: Enjoy! I. Own. NOTHING!!!!!!
Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto were all walking down a path on their way to the tea country. They had a mission to protect a racer from harm's way. Tsunade had said it was a B-ranked mission, but could possibly turn into an A-ranked.
(flashback)
"It's a B-ranked escort mission, someone important," said Tsunade as she held up the mission scroll.
"Important…really?" asked Sakura.
"Of course it could develop into an A-ranked mission if you run into trouble."
"So, who do we escort?" asked Sasuke in his un-emotional voice.
"I don't know."
"Hold on, what d'ya mean you don't know!" asked Naruto lifting his hand up.
"Every four years, our neighbor, the land of tea, holds a dedication ceremony at the great torokii shrine. And each time we're asked to escort a runner who will participate in the race that's part of the ceremonies. This year, the messengers who were bringing the request were attacked before they could get here."
"Who attacked them?" continued Naruto.
"I'm sorry, but I'm still not following this story very well," said Sakura.
"Well, don't worry about that now, when you meet boss Jirochou he'll fill you in on everything."
"When we meet boss Jirochou? Ah! That gambler guy we met!" yelled Naruto.
"That's everything I know, now no wasting time, their expecting you in the land of tea by the end of the day. So get moving!"
"Got it. "said Sasuke
"Right!" said Sakura
"Don't worry! You can count on us!" yelled Naruto as he and the rest of team 7(except Kakashi) sprinted out the door.
'I hope so…' was Tsunade's last thought as she watched them run out of the door.
That is what brings them here. Even though Kakashi couldn't join them, they were pretty confident on succeeding. Well, Naruto's always confident, but that's beside the point.
"Hey, Sakura, you hungry at all?" asked the blonde ramen-lover.
"A little bit maybe."
"Hey, good idea! (A/N: …even though she didn't HAVE the idea, Baka!) Lunch break! And look, what a coincidence, there just happens to be a tea house right there!" Naruto zoomed off literally leaving Sakura and Sasuke in the dust.
"Wait, Naruto!"
Insert evil people talking
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
…end evil people talking
They all got seated in the tea house. Sasuke and Sakura next to each other, and Naruto across from Sakura.
"What will you be having?" asked an old woman as she placed there drinks on the table.
"Some sweet bean soup!" yelled Naruto.
"I'll have the dumplings, please, and you Sasuke?"
"…Just rice" (A/N: O.O)
"Very good, I'll be back in a moment." Said the woman as she headed toward the back.
"I just hope we get some fighting in!" exclaimed Naruto with a big grin on his face.
"Don't you dare go making trouble Naruto, not this time." Said Sakura with a firm voice.
"I won't."
"Just sitting around in the shade, sucking down sweet bean soup. A ninja's life is pretty cushy," said a mysterious boy with a ponytail and dark coal eyes.
(Sasuke's POV)
'Oh no he didn't!'
'who the hell are you?'
'I'm you, my dear emo boy, sad but true.'
'…I'm not emo.'
'sure and I'm the tooth fairy! GIVE ME YOUR TEETH!!'
'…'
"What'd you say?!" yelled the dobe. Hn, he needs to shut his mouth and let it go.
'Hell yea Naruto! You tell him! Oh oh oh! Outer, hit him with your purse!'
'…Are you on crack?'
'Are YOU on crack? Yea that's right, just stop thinking.'
"I guess you don't get much action in the leaf village, judging by how out of shape you look."
'DID HE JUST CALL ME FAT? I ONLY EAT 6000 CALORIES A DAY ASSHOLE! GO AHEAD AND COUNT THEM! YEAH! IM NOT FAT YOUR FAT!'
'would you shut up?'
'NO! I WILL NOT SHUT UP! THIS IS OUTRAGUOUS! I GONNA SUE HIS FAT ASS! THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S TALKING AFTERWARD!'
'…'
"That does it!"…dobe.
"Hey, where'd you come from sweetie, I didn't see you sitting here. I didn't mean you of course."
…
'Oh. Oh. OH HELLZ NO! YOU FATSO GET AWAT FROM SAKU-CHAN! SHE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
'Since when; and Saku-chan?'
'Cute name huh? KAWAII! She's adorable, the names adorable, AWESOMENESS FOR ME!!!'
'…'
"Uh, thank you." …Sakura…
"Hello there. I'm Idate Morino, so ah, what do they call you?"
"You gonna punch him in the nose Sakura, or do you want me to?"
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO TELL NAME! TELLING BAD!'
'What is wrong with you?'
'WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT! TELL THAT ASSHOLE WHATS RIGHTFULY OURS! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!'
'…'
"Sakura, huh? That's a beautiful name. Well then, since fate has brought us together, isn't it time we talked about our future?"
'YEAH RIGHT! THE ONLY FUTURE YOU GONNA GET IS AS A BROKE DOWN HOBO WITH ALL HIS BONES BROKEN CURTESY OF ME!'
"uh, I'm not sure that-what future?"
'NO FREAKIN FUTURE! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS LANGUGE THAT I SPEAK?!?'
"You know, the part where you give up this ridiculous ninja business and run away with me."
'OH YEA! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIENDS!' –pulls out a butt load of weapons-
"HEYYY! OUIT HITTING ON HER OR IM GONNA START HITTING ON YOU!"
'…that sounded wrong. BUT SO DAMN RIGHT AT THE SAME TIME! YOU GO DOBE! NOBODY TAKES SAKU-CHAN AWAY FROM ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!'
'…you mean me.'
'HA! I WAS RIGHT! YOU LUUVVVV SAKU-CHAN!'
'Hn.'
'So now I laugh at thee! HA…HA HA HA!
"Don't worry I was just kidding around. But the rest of it, that's no joke, if there's one thing I can't stand it's a ninja. You better go on back where you came from or there'll be trouble. I'm warning you!"
"Yeah! Well why wait, bring it on tough guy!"
'hmm hmm hmm.'
'well?'
'weeeeelll what?'
'aren't you gonna say something?'
'hold on, let me finish my coloring.'
'…'
"Calm down Naruto!" said Sakura.
"She's right. Just ignore the punk we don't have the time." 'YAA US!'
"GET OUTTA HERE, SASUKE! AFTER WHAT THIS GUY SAID DON'T YOU HAVE ANY NINJA PRIDE! YOU CAN IGNORE IT IF YOU WANT IM GONNA FLATTEN-"
"Huh? He's gone." Sakura said.
'No way! How did I miss that?'
'well I was busy looking into Saku-chan's eyes. There so prettyful! You should get her an emerald for her birthday!' It'll match! Tehe!
'….'
"UGH! I HATE THAT! HE GETS IN HIS LITTLE DIG AND RUNS AWAY!"
"Here you go, thank you for waiting," said the old woman.
"Aww, phooey."
'Naruto said phooey!'
'Hn.'
'kill joy'
'Hn.'
"Ill take these whenever you're ready," said the woman.
Sakura picked up the receipt and looked at it.
"Huh? What's this? Why two bills?"
"Yours and your young friends that just left. He said you'd be paying for him."
-insane angry Naruto and Sakura-
"Augh! I knew it! I knew I should've flattened him when I had the chance!"
I leaned on the floor and put my ear to it.
'his footsteps are already faint. That kid's quick.'
"That's it he crossed the line! Making fools of us, I'm gonna catch that stupid jerk."
'la la la la la…hmmm…should I make our kid have pink hair or blue?'
-twitch-'that's what you were drawing! A picture of me and Sakura and our child…not that there's gonna be a child…yea.'
'What if I told you there already was one…?'
…
…
…
…
'Ha! Just joking!'
'perverted creep!'
(Normal POV)
And with those last thoughts, he and the others went to chase the fat, broken boned, hobo asshole named Idate.
How do you like it? Great!
Sakura: cool!
Naruto: really awesome!
Saki-chan: Thknx ^^
Sasuke: …I never thought that…