It Takes Two for a Massacre.
Summary;; Gaz is forced to go to Iggins's birthday party. On the way there she meets Zim, and decides to bring him with her to ruin the party. Hilarity and gore ensues. A little ZAGR and some ZADF.
Author's Notes;; This is my first IZ story. Flames will be used to roast my little sister (yum.) Reviews should be a little helpful. And...I don't have a beta so my grammer won't be too terribly good. The story is based off the song 'Happy Birthday' by The Birthday Massacre.
Disclaimer;; I am merely a lowly fan attempting to share my demented imaginings. I own nothing.
--Dead Chick Walking (DCW)
Delve into the demented scrawlings of a fourteen year old girl...
Chapter One;; Black and White Dress
Gaz Membrane stared at the tacky colorful invitation with sneering distaste. It proclaimed loudly that, 'You're Invited!" The creepy little gothic girl handled the card gingerly as if it could infect her with the happy germ at a moment's notice. Her lip curled and she opened the bright invitation. The girl wasn't actually interested in the contents, but she didn't have anything else to do. Gaz opened it and stared in shock at what it said. "Iggins?" she said in a voice half way between disgust and disbelief. "How could he think I'd…"
Her voice dwindled as her amber eyes saw the note at the bottom of the card. Dear Gaz, it read, normally I wouldn't invite you, but I have the new Blazing Mongoose 3 game and if you're REALLY nice, maybe I'll let you play a level -Iggins. Gaz growled angrily, who did he think he was? With a single smooth motion she crumpled the invitation and threw it in the trash can with one hand; with the other she grabbed a soda. In the short time it had taken to perform those actions she had forgotten about stupid Iggens. Taking a sip of her soda she headed to her room to play Blazing Mongoose 2.
-----
"I'll find you, Pirate Trash Gremlin!" exclaimed a boy in a black trench coat. Dib had read about this strangely specific gremlin on the internet late last night. Apparently they only lived in the trash of paranormal investigators, sabotaged paranormal studies, and were the allies of aliens. This, of course, must be the reason Dib couldn't defeat Zim. The gremlins were helping him.
In his anticipation of finding the PTGs, as he called them, Dib plunged his hands straight into the garbage can, not even bothering with protective gloves. Papers, half eaten food, and a couple of forks with what looked frighteningly like dried blood caked on them. But no Pirate Trash Gremlin. Not even a regular Trash Gremlin. "Damn." Dib muttered and began to scoop the refuse from his search back into the trash can. All save for one thing.
It was a simple thing, and Dib didn't even notice it. It had been flung from the trash can in the beginning of his fevered searching, and had landed on a stack of papers meant for Professor Membrane himself. It was slightly crumpled, on corner was soggy, and there was a stain on the R.S.V.P. number. But it was still very obviously a birthday invitation.
-----
As the preeminent professor of basically the entire world, Prof. Membrane was a busy man. He rarely spent time with his children and it showed. After receiving a phone call from the skool councilor that Gaz had yet again beaten up a student two years older and three times bigger than herself, Prof. Membrane had decided to take a more active role in his daughter's life. However, it was very difficult to do, since he had never done it before.
The tall man in a white lab coat swept into the kitchen; which for some reason smelled as if someone had been digging through the trash. A stack of papers was waiting for him on the kitchen table; he had been expecting them for a long time. What Prof. Membrane didn't expect was to see the birthday invitation.
"This is just what she needs," Membrane mused quietly, "to get out and play with some young children of her own age." He carefully tucked it into the pocket of his coat, gathered the rest of the papers, and left to do something that would somehow benefit or blowup all of mankind.
-----
"Dad. This is humiliating."
"Now, daughter, you're going to a party. You must dress nicely."
"I hate this dress-
"You need to be more social and-
"I hate it with a passion that-
"Start getting along with-
"Burns hotter than the flames in hell!" Gaz finished. She didn't scream, didn't even raise her voice, but the cold way she said it somehow over-road her father's speech. The two Membranes were standing in Gaz's room, which was really quite scary but not as much as you would think(the Johnny Depp poster took away from the creepy factor).
"Gazlene!" Prof. Membrane gasped out her full name as he heard her swear. Hell wasn't really a bad swear, but he was surprised to hear her say it. "You are a little girl and should not swear."
"I'm thirteen," Gaz retorted, "I swear all the time, and don't ever call me Gazlene again, Dad." It was hard to say what she felt more of, humiliation or blinding rage. The young girl was clad in a dress. Yes, an actual dress. It was black, with a white scarf-like collar. The shoulder was adorned with a white rose and a white ribbon flowed from the fake flower to her waist, which was girdled by another white sash. To complete the look she was wearing Mary-Janes. "I hate this." she stated once more.
Finally Prof. Membrane put his hands on his hips and looked sternly at his daughter. In this position he actually looked like a parent, instead of an inattentive babysitter. Gaz was certain this was why she didn't doom him on the spot. That and she couldn't doom her own dad, that was against the rules. "You will wear this, and you will go to the party."
"Fine." Gaz retorted crossing her bare arms in front of her. She had retained her skull necklace and her father hadn't been able to talk her out of refraining from her customary heaps of eyeliner and mascara. The young girl looked very conflicted, like a cute little goth chick stuffed into prep clothes. Which she was.
"Good," Membrane said, proud at his incredible parenting skills, "have a nice time at the party." He told Gaz as she walked out of her room and toward the door.
"Oh," the professor exclaimed, "I almost forgot. Have your brother walk you." The words reached Gaz's ears right as she touched the bat. Dib moaned, but began walking toward his sister knowing that resistance was futile.
"Damn." The two siblings said at the same time.
A stern but slightly distracted voice echoed through the house, "And if I hear either of you swear again, you'll be used as test subjects for Super Asparagus."
-----
