All characters and the original story/text belong to Stephanie Meyer and I am not her.

Dear readers,

This story is an exploration of a crossroads moment in Eclipse. A crossroads for both Bella and Jacob and all that followed. What if, at that moment, Bella been able to handle a certain situation differently. What if Jacob had shown the more sensitive side he seemed to have in New Moon? (It also assumes that she is NOT feeling more for Jacob than she apparently did in the original text. I'm also assuming that Jacob is capable of being a lot more sensitive than the way he was portrayed in Eclipse originally. In New Moon we saw that sensitive side...perhaps a different reaction from Bella at a crucial moment would be enough to bring that kinder Jacob back into play....)

Be aware that my goal is to stay as true to the original text as is possible. However, when you change one thing, sometimes that can have drastic effects. Sort of the pebble in the pond, ripple effect.

I see this as being a series of 'snapshots' from within the original story...changing some things but leaving everything else the same. That being the case, I don't see this as becoming a true chapter story--that's already been told. This will ONLY change moments that ocurred because Bella chose differently. Does that make any sense??? :-)

~~~Thanks to Ms. Abigail Tracey for helping me tighten this first chapter up a bit :-)~~~


Starts on page 331 of Eclipse. All original text will be quoted if necessary. Much will stay the same...well...we shall see :-)

Chapter 15. Wager--revisited (page 331 with references to chapter 24 page 534)

His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.

Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn't fight, waves of bitter disappointment and shock coursing through me as I waited for him to stop.

It worked. The anger seemed to evaporate, and he pulled back to look at me. He frowned slightly and then pressed his lips softly to mine again, once, twice...a third time. I pretended I was a stone and waited.

Finally, he let go of my face and leaned away. The deep hurt I felt pulsed through me as tears gathered in my eyes and fell unchecked down my face. When he opened his eyes and actually looked at me, he took a step back. And then another. His gleeful expression fled, changing rapidly into one of horror.

"Bella! I'm...I'm...," he was at a loss for words. I felt the same. Numbness, hurt and terrible disappointment warred within me. He was my best friend. I knew that he had a crush on me...but this? How could this have happened? How could he have done this? I just stared into his face, so much higher than my own, tears slowly streaking down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered hoarsely. I just stared. "God, Bella...," he leaned forward as if to touch my arm and I flinched away involuntarily. His expression went from fear to despair at that. I didn't care. Not now. How was I supposed to react when my best friend, who knew I was in love with someone else, would dare to harm our friendship the way he just had. Harm it? I couldn't imagine how it could ever survive this...not now...not ever.

I watched as the look of despair slowly faded into something else. I couldn't put my finger on it at the moment. I was too upset to analyze his apparent feelings. Later it hit me and I couldn't help but feel bittersweet about it. It was resignation. For better or for worse Jacob Black finally knew who had all of my loyalty and love.

Jacob stared at me for a long moment in silence before walking a few paces away. He turned, finally and spoke quietly, sadly.

"Let me take you home, okay? He...he'll be waiting." And he turned and started back to the house. After a few moments, I followed.

The drive home was spent in silence. Every once in a while I could see Jacob glance my way, an extremely worried look stamped on his sad face. I couldn't bring myself to make things easier for him, though. I had said no. At least I'd tried to. I had made it abundantly clear who I loved and how I felt for Jacob, as well. The tears continued to seep out and scroll down my face as the betrayal I felt kept shooting through me. I was suddenly angry, too. And not just at Jacob.

I knew how he felt. I had absolutely known from the beginning that he had a crush on me. I guess I had hoped that seeing me with Edward would make Jacob's feelings fade. Clearly I was wrong. The thought of how wrong I was...how wrong it was of me to continue to hang out with him, knowing how he felt...that made me more than a little angry at myself. I shook my head silently as I saw how utterly stupid and selfish I was being. Was it really Jacob's fault? Oh, I wasn't done being hurt and angry with him. No way! But a lot of that anger had to be pointed at me. I couldn't deny that.

Jacob glanced at me pitifully again. I met his eyes for second and then looked away. I could see that he was sorry, but for what? That he'd forced that kiss on me? That he'd endangered or, more likely, killed a friendship that had meant so much to both of us? Or was he simply a kid who was worried because he knew I was upset with him? That last thought was mean and I knew it but it didn't change how I felt.

It seemed to take forever but eventually we pulled up to Charlie's house. I had the door open almost before we stopped.

"Bella!" Jacob called out. I heard the remorse in his voice but, at the moment, I didn't really care. I was upset with him and I was almost equally upset with myself. I shut the door calmly and walked into the house. Charlie was sprawled out on the sofa watching the news. He looked up as I walked past into the kitchen.

"You're back early," he commented.

"Yeah," I responded quietly. I didn't elaborate and I thought for a second that he would ask me more, but thankfully the news switched to sports commentary and he was distracted. In the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of water and stood staring at it for several seconds. The silence was broken by the sound of Jacob's car pulling slowly away. I looked up and, shaking my head, reached for the phone. I dialed Edward's cell.

"Bella?" he answered on the first ring. He sounded more than relieved--he was delighted. I could hear the Volvo's engine in the background; he was already in the car--that was good. "You left the phone...I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," I replied with a sigh. I was already dreading the conversation I knew I needed to have. But I didn't want things to get any worse than they already were.

"I'm on my way over," he said. He must have picked up something from the tone in my voice because his own changed. He sounded suddenly more serious. "What's wrong?"

"I just need you here, Edward." He was quiet for a second.

"I'm on my way," he repeated, and I hung up quietly and finished my water before heading back outside. Charlie didn't seem to notice that I'd left, he was so involved in what the commentator was saying. I sat down on the porch and looked up into the trees that were lit by the security light and the lights from the windows. It was breezy and the wind rippled through the leaves above me and through my hair. Sighing, I leaned back and thought about the decisions I'd made lately. I had to admit that they were not as pure and unsullied as I would have once believed them to be. I thought about how great a friend Jacob had been to me all those terrible months when I was slowly dying inside, missing my other half. I thought, too, about how obvious it was that Jacob had been caring for me in ways that went far beyond pals and buddies. I couldn't honestly say I'd been blind, though. Not really. I'd been selfish. And that was the hard and bitter truth. There was another truth that needed to be dealt with as well. Edward's car pulled smoothly up to the house and he was at my side in a second.

"What's going on, Bella?" He was standing over me looking down into my eyes and I could see that the few minutes it had taken him to get here had obviously been spent obsessively worrying. I shook my head and reached up my hand for his, urging him to sit next to me. Inside the house the only sounds were the TV and an occasional incoherent comment from my dad directed towards whatever was happening on screen.

Edward sat next to me, still hold my hand, but his eyes looked wary. I took a breath before starting.

"You knew, didn't you?" He frowned suddenly at that. "You knew that Jacob had...things on his mind when you dropped me off. You said he was practically shouting...but you wouldn't tell me what it was about." That wary look switched to cautious yet ever so slightly guilty.

"I...didn't think it was right to tell you, Bella. You got upset with the idea of me hearing his thoughts...I guess I felt he deserved his...," he paused.

"His chance?" Edward looked away and then back at me. His eyes burned into mine.

"Did he take that chance, Bella?" His voice deepened and I knew I had to watch what I said.

"Edward...," I paused. "I wish you'd just told me." He opened his mouth as if to interrupt me, but I raised my hand to stop him. "I know! I know I told you I didn't like you hearing his thoughts and I know you were trying to...I guess do the right thing. But I wish I'd known." My voice faded away as I thought of how I might have handled things differently. But, then again, maybe that was the best way. Jacob definitely now knew how things really stood. Edward stood up abruptly and turned to face me.

"What Happened?" It was more a demand than a question and I could see the anger flaring in his eyes and the line between them. I stood up slowly and placed my hand on his arm.

"Calm down, Edward. Nothing happened! Nothing terrible, anyway." He frowned but a little of the tension seemed to ease from his frame. I wished I didn't have to tell him what happened. But there was always a chance that he would see Jacob again...and then there was every chance that he would know the second he saw him. No--it was better this way. I just needed to be very careful.

"I feel so stupid, Edward. So stupid and selfish and...I don't know what." I shook my head and looked away from him.

"What are you talking about, Bella?" This was clearly not what he'd thought I was going to say. Good. Best to keep his thinking off track for the moment.

"I don't know what to say. I knew. I knew that he liked me. I knew that!" I paced away from Edward in frustration with myself but not before seeing a tiny flicker of relief on his face. "So why? Why did I ignore it? Why did I ...," I was shaking my head again, still pacing while Edward just watched me in silence, an oddly rueful look on his face. I stopped in front of him and just stood there looking up into his beautiful eyes. Taking a huge breath, I decided to get it over with.

"He kissed me." I stated this blankly, flatly. Edward's reaction was neither blank nor flat. His eyes seemed to catch fire and at the same moment he seemed to become a lot more statue-like than I'd ever seen before. I waited for several seconds while he just stood there, motionless. Finally I reached my hand up and held my palm to his cheek. After a second, he blinked and reached up to hold my hand to his face. The fire slowly drained away but did not completely leave. I had practically accused him of being jealous once before. Now I knew that no matter how amazing Edward was, he was still a man. A man with feelings...intense ones. So that just added another layer to my already growing guilt. Edward had had to watch me go hang out with a guy he knew had feelings for me...over and over again. The thought occurred to me...what if that had been me? What if Edward had insisted on hanging out by himself with a girl I knew had feelings for him? Something twisted deep in my gut at the very thought. But wasn't that exactly what I'd been doing. I knew that Edward was strong...but was it fair that I'd demanded that he be that strong? Strong enough to watch me hang out with Jacob, knowing he had feelings for me...and just...take it? God! What kind of person am I?

Something of my thoughts must have shown in my eyes because his suddenly grew more gentle and he pulled us both back down to sit on the porch.

"He kissed you?" He repeated. I nodded, the remorse I was feeling threatening to overwhelm me.

"That's not your fault, Bella," he said gently. I nodded, waves of remorse coursing through me miserably. Shaking my head again, I tried to look away.

"I'm such an idiot!" Edward pulled me into his arms and held me in silence for several seconds.

"You are not an idiot, love. Jacob has feelings and he obviously wanted to see if...if there was any chance you felt the same. You can't blame yourself for that." But that's exactly how I felt. To blame. Responsible. I looked into those wonderful eyes and felt a wave of shame.

"I don't like to talk about it, Edward, but you know how...messed up I was there for a while." I felt Edward grow still again. I hated reminding him of that terrible time and I would never normally do it...but I needed to talk this out and Edward probably needed that, too, even if it would be hard for both of us.

"We were so close and he did so much to help me keep it together. He was a true friend and I knew...I knew that he wanted more. Even before...," I was speaking so softly now that only Edward could have heard me. The night around us had become hushed with only the soft sigh of the weak breeze and an occasional sound from the TV inside to remind us of where we were. Edward broke the silence with his soft and understanding words.

"I know, love. He was there for you when you really needed someone. When I left you Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was there to help stitch you back up again and that was bound to leave its mark on you both. You relied on him. For all I wish you never had to...it's still the truth. And now Jacob feels very...protective of you and...he blames me and my family for your pain.... He has cause." I looked up sharply at that.

"No, Edward. He doesn't. I don't want blame being flung all over the place. That time...that was terrible. Yes. But that's the past and I'm sick and tired of people living in the past." My voice had raised and I suddenly was very aware that Charlie was just inside and could easily overhear our conversation if we weren't careful. But he was part of it, too. He blamed Edward. Jacob blamed Edward and all the Cullens. The pack blamed the Cullens for everything from my situation to their very existence. Edward's fingers caressing my lips brought me back to the moment. I looked up into his glowing eyes. He was smiling, something I hadn't expected, not with what we were talking about.

"Something you need to understand, love, is that when you were broken...so was I. It's hard for me to...let go of that time, too. I want to! Of course I do. But I also don't want to deny any...," he paused and I knew he was trying to wiggle around the word 'blame'. "It is in the past. I want it to be in the past. But that doesn't erase my feelings about what I did and what happened. And that goes for you and that goes for Jacob, too. If I've learned anything in all my years it's this: It takes time...but time can work miracles. We'll all be alright, Bella. But be patient, love. Be patient with me when I feel upset about what happened. And be patient with yourself, too. As much as I wanted to deny your friendship with him, Jacob was there for you. He did nothing wrong." His clear and heartfelt words had held me spellbound...until that last sentence.

"Nothing wrong? Kissing me when I didn't want to---that was nothing?" Now I was getting upset..and not at Jacob. Edward, on the other hand seemed to like the change in my tone. He laughed and pulled me to him again, kissing my forehead.

"I didn't mean that.' He laughed softly while I pouted up at him. "He did nothing wrong in falling for you. I did it myself, you know?" His grin was infectious and I couldn't help responding to it by leaning up and kissing his chin. His arms tightened briefly before he pulled back and looked at me oddly.

"What?"

"Well...I was just wondering. What did you do to him. I mean...when he kissed you, what did you...,"he paused, clearly worrying about how to phrase that. I shrugged.

"I was too stunned to do much. I just...shut down, I guess. He...I know he knows how I feel, now. He took me right home...," I didn't like thinking about how upset he'd been. It was still too soon for that. Edward's laughter startled me.

"What now?"

"I'm sorry, love. I'm just a little surprised. Knowing you, I had thought you might be a bit more...open with your reaction."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you have a bit of a temper, love. Don't deny it!" I sat there grumbling at those words. "You do and you know it."

"Well...maybe a little bit." Edward laughed openly at this and I tried to elbow him in the ribs, in all probability bruising myself instead.

"In fact, Emmett and Jasper have a bet...," he stopped abruptly and I looked up to see him frowning again.

"What? What were you going to say about Emmett and Jasper? What bet?" I demanded. He looked annoyed but I could tell it wasn't at me. I suddenly had the feeling that he's started to say something that he now wished he could take back.

"It's nothing, Bella. Why don't we go for a ride? Would you like that?"

"Tell me, Edward. Or should I ask Emmett?" Ha! Now I had his attention. He sighed.

"Don't get upset. It's ridiculous, really. They're betting on how many times you...slip up in the first year."

"Oh." I grimaced, trying to hide my sudden horror as I realized what he meant. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"

"Yes," he admitted unwillingly. I looked up at him with stricken eyes as just the thought of that chilled me. His arms tightened around me again. "But you don't need to worry about it now. In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

I groaned. This was all I needed. One more thing to worry about.

All of Jasper's stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since he'd explained his past. Now those stories jumped into sharp focus with the news of this crazy wager. I didn't want to worry...Edward kept telling me not to, but that didn't seem to stop me from wondering what my future as a vampire held.

I knew I would be different. Of course I knew that. I was praying that I would be as strong as Edward said I would be. Strong and fast and, most of all, beautiful. Someone who could stand next to Edward and feel like she belonged there. Edward hated me bringing things like that up, of course. I knew I should be content that he saw me as beautiful...but something in me just couldn't see it. I wanted to be on his level...worthy of him.

But when it came to the other side of changing...I'd been trying not to think too much about that. Jasper's description of wild and bloodthirsty monsters had me cringing. What if I wasn't able to stop myself? What if I actually killed some innocent stranger...someone who's never harmed me and never would have? I knew that was happening right now in Seattle. Happening to people who'd had families and friends and futures. People who'd had lives. What if I became the monster who could take all those things away from someone else?

Edward swore that wouldn't happen. He reminded me about Carlisle and Rosalie. I kept trying to keep them in my mind. They did it, so can I. They did it...so can I! Right? Come on. If Rosalie could hold back from killing and feeding on the very ones that had killed her...couldn't I have the kind of control needed to stop me from killing some innocent person on the street?

Whatever happened, though, I knew deep down that I could absolutely trust Edward to keep me from doing anything I would regret. I knew he'd take me to Antarctica to hunt penguins if I asked him to. And I knew who I was. I was a good person and I'd do whatever it took to stay a good person...human or inhuman.

The biggest worry I had...one that kept coming back to haunt me, was...would I still be me? If I did turn out to be the kind of vampire Jasper had described...how could I be?And what about all the things I looked forward to in my life with Edward? The things we had both talked about...our life together? Would I even care about those things after I changed? And what would happen to the things I wanted now?

Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I as human. Usually it seemed kind of silly. There weren't many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with Edward, what else could I ask for? Thinking about that stupid wager, I wondered...could there be a human experience that I was not willing to give up?

Since Bella did not hit Jacob in this version, she didn't hurt her hand and there was no reason why they would end up at the Cullen's house. However, I still had the basic issue come up with regards to the bet. I need your opinions. Do you think the bet issue should be repositioned within later chapters or simply not come up at all?

Not every chapter will be or even should be completely written out the way I did here...the next chapter only changes a bit---Chapter 17 changes quite a lot...and so on, and so forth. The Ripple Effect will get more intense the further away we get from this chapter's changing event, though.