The day started out normally for Claude. They opened the shop that morning, accommodated customers and helped his grandfather and Yune with things around the shop.
What he didn't expect though, was a visit from a certain someone from his past he'd rather not dwell on.
"Welcome!" it was already Claude's instinct to say that word whenever he would hear the front bell ring, a sign that someone had just entered the shop. However, when he looked up from the counter, his smile immediately vanished.
"Yune-chan!" Alice's cheerful voice resonated throughout the place. Full of youthful vigor, she jumped up and gave Yune a hug. Yune only smiled back as Alice continued to dote on her. But it wasn't really Alice that was bothering him.
"Oh my if it isn't the Blanche sisters! Come in, come in." in contrast to Claude's own cold stare, his grandfather Oscar smiled brightly at the girls.
"Good afternoon sir." Camille Blanche smiled warmly back at Oscar. On the outside she looked calm and composed as a proper lady should but deep down she was trying hard to ignore the frantic beating of her heart. As old as she was she cannot deny the reason for it and that reason was Claude. "I'm here to talk to Claude. May I excuse him for a while if you don't mind?"
If only there wasn't Alice chattering with Yune on the background Claude would've sworn the whole world had gone silent. Talk to him? What on earth for? What did she want?
Claude gripped the edge of the table and shot his grandfather a look as if to say tell her I'm busy!
Oscar did catch his grandson's eye but he knew that it wasn't what Claude really wanted inside. So he turned back to Camille with a nod. "Of course I don't mind at all. We're not busy as you can see."
Camille didn't try to hide her relief. "Thank you sir!"
Oscar walked over to his grandson who was more than ready to protest. Oscar firmly laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "She came here to see you." he bent his head a little and lowered his voice. "I can sense that she has something important to say. I know you want to forget her but show a little respect will you?"
Claude flinched at his grandfather's words. He clenched his fists and stared at the floor like a guilty child. Oscar stepped back, releasing Claude from his grasp. "I'll handle the shop." he said, this time in a gentle voice. "Why don't you and Miss Camille go out for a walk? The weather is nice enough."
Alice walked up to them, hand in hand with Yune. Ignoring Claude, whom she knew was bound to say no, she looked up at Mr. Oscar instead. "Mr. Oscar I'd like to take Yune out for a walk too!" she didn't have to try very hard to persuade the old man.
"Why of course you can take Yune out for a walk Miss Alice. Just don't stray too far."
"Yaaaay! Thank you Mr. Oscar." Alice turned back to Yune and tugged at her hand. "Come on let's go for a walk Yune-chan!"
"Hold on you're not going without adult supervision." begrudgingly, Claude grabbed his jacket that hung from the wall and slipped it on his shoulders. He wanted to at least make himself presentable outside. After buttoning his jacket he walked over to where Camille stood.
Camille, upon seeing him up close, managed a little smile but Claude seemed like he was regarding her with indifference. Oscar noticed it as well as he took over the counter. He wondered if Camille could take down those walls Claude had built around himself.
Even if she was the reason he had built them up in the first place.
Ladies in pretty pastel dresses strolled leisurely around the park with their parasols in hand. It was a fine day indeed - the sun was up and there wasn't much clouds in the sky. Claude kept an eye on Yune who was out there playing with Alice. Around them, children ran around as well, often chased by their mothers or nannies. But truth be told, Claude's focus wasn't entirely on them. It was the woman sitting beside him.
They were silent on their way to the park, with Alice and Yune doing most of the talking. Now that the girls were out there playing, it was just the two of them now and the silence was starting to bother him. He knew Camille did not go all the way here just for a stroll. He wanted to get it over with already.
"So." he spoke up and Camille quickly turned to face him. He only noticed now that she had been admiring the sky before he had spoken up. "I know you're not here just for a leisure walk." His voice was cold but he could not help it. If he let his guard down he feared that his bottled up emotions would come out all at once and emotions was something he wasn't very good at.
Camille betrayed no emotion either. But her voice wasn't as cold as his.
"I'm getting married."
This time, Claude let his surprise show. His eyes grew wide from the revelation and his jaw dropped a little. Suddenly, he could no longer see the children playing in front of them. All he could think about was what he just heard. A part of him already expected it. She was a lady of Society after all. Why would she not marry at this age, specially when she's so pretty and had a good familial background. But still, it was like a bomb had been dropped.
Claude was starting to picture it now. The man must be someone from a rich family too. Good looking and dressed in all the right clothes to flaunt off his status. And Camille will be dressed in white, with a bouquet in hand and pearls in her hair and...
Claude stopped when he realized what he was imagining. He stopped before he could reach the thoughts he dreaded the most. But his mind said it anyway. She will walk down the aisle looking like a goddess. And I won't be the man waiting for her at the altar.
He didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the injustice of it all. "Congratulations." he was surprised his voice didn't crack up. But this time his voice wasn't so as cold anymore and this motivated Camille on her real agenda.
"There will be a party at my house tomorrow night. I want you to go."
Claude chuckled as if he had just been told a joke and wasn't in the mood for it. "You must be fooling yourself if you think I'm going."
But Camille could not be swayed. This was her last chance to be with him, while she was still unmarried. Her only chance and she wasn't going to let it slip away. "Please, Claude."
Claude finally met her gaze but found himself speechless for all he could think about at that moment was how beautiful she looked even dressed simply like this. And it made his heart ache, knowing he can never be with this beautiful woman. He now realized that deep down he wanted to go.
"I want you to go. I..." Camille found it hard to speak all of a sudden with him so close and his blue eyes meeting hers. She wanted so badly to just throw her arms around him right now and tell him she loved him all along. But not now. Maybe at the party, Camille reminded herself. She'd get the chance to do it. "I want to be with you for one last time before I get married."
Claude didn't deny that he wanted it too. Maybe he will not be the man she'll marry but at least he had one thing that her fiance did not.
"Fine. I'll be there."
Camille sighed with relief. Finally, she had voiced out her intentions and she trusted Claude's word. The thought of seeing him there was already enough to make her heart dance. "It won't be a big party. Just some relatives and friends."
In truth, Claude despised social events specially like this one but for her, perhaps it will be worth it, dressing up and smiling at those high society snobs.
"But you'll be surrounded all the time. How will I get to be alone with you?" And upon saying that, Claude wished he had held his tongue before the last sentence. Heat rose up to his cheeks and Camille giggled at the sight of him blushing and looking away as if he was embarrassed. She knew just the right place where they can be perfectly alone.
"Why do you even ask? You know the one. Or at least, I hope you still know how to get there."
Claude caught her gaze once again and instantly, he realized how stupid he was for asking something so obvious.
"If you see me slip away that's your cue." Camille said
"You make it sound like you're so confident I'll be watching you the whole time."
Camille decided to tease him a little. "Well you should be. Unless there's another woman you'd like to see."
"Huh, as if..." but Claude held his tongue this time, aware of what he was about to say. As if there will be another woman I'd like to see in that party
Even though he let the sentence hang, Camille felt her heart dancing again. So he still loved her after all! She covered her lips with the back of her fan, trying to hide her giddy smile. But the hint of blush on her cheeks gave way to what she was feeling. Claude noticed it too and found it rather adorable, which of course he will never admit. He turned back to watching the children. They were both happy to find that they still love each other despite everything. But at the same time they couldn't deny that there was a hint of pain that came along with it.
Because they know that despite their love, they could never be together.
"Waaaah! Claude-sama is very handsome tonight!" Yune exclaimed, her eyes twinkling as she and Oscar stood behind Claude. Oscar laid his hand on Yune's shoulder. "Isn't he? Almost like a gentleman I say!"
Claude wasn't used to hearing such praises so he ignored them and focused back on his reflection on the mirror. He had just finished fixing his bow tie and was now buttoning the cuffs of his dinner jacket. Although it was rare of them to go to social events, Claude still had clothes like this one reserved at the back of his closet, only taking them out when the situation called for it. Claude wasn't vain either - but when he gazed at his reflection he silently agreed that he could definitely pass off as a gentleman. If only for tonight.
"Should I call for a carriage?" Oscar suggested
"I'll just walk." Claude replied
"Nonsense! You're dressed for the occasion!"
Claude was about to protest but Oscar had already gone outside to call for one. Claude sighed and turned back to the mirror to examine himself once more. He was surprised at how calm he appeared as if he was used to this kind of thing. There was no hint at all that his stomach was already knotted with nervousness.
"Claude-sama are you excited to see Camille-sama?" Yune gazed up at him with an innocent look. Claude was taken aback by the question but couldn't bring himself to lie.
"Yes actually. I am excited to see her."
"If you love her why can't you marry her?" Yune's innocent tone reminded him of young girls fascinated with fairy tales. But theirs was no fairy tale, Claude had learned upon growing up. Camille was like a princess and she deserved to be with a prince and he was no knight in shining armor either. Sometimes he still had a hard time accepting that. With a bittersweet smile, Claude patted Yune's head. "It's not that easy. Sometimes, love isn't enough."
His answer only made Yune more confused but Claude diecided to drop the matter. She was still a child after all.
"Claude, the carriage is here!" Oscar called out which broke the young man out of his thoughts. He bid good bye to Yune before heading out.
"I already paid the driver beforehand and asked him to wait for you until you're finished at the party." Oscar said
"You don't have to. A carriage waiting for me makes me feel like a gentleman." Claude replied
Oscar winked at his grandson. "Well, tonight you are." He opened the carriage door for his grandson. "In you go and off to that party! Have fun."
"Like I will." Claude said in a voice that was totally opposite to Oscar's enthusiasm. He climbed in the carriage and before Oscar shut the door, he said one last thing to his grandson. "Claude, whatever you decide to do tonight make sure you won't regret it."
Claude was surprised at his grandfather's words but before he can say anything, Oscar had already shut the door and he and Yune watched as the carriage sped away.
The road in front of the Blanche estate was already lined with carriages when Claude arrived and he can hear music coming from the inside of the mansion. Claude took a deep breath and tugged at his clothes before stepping out of the carriage. Making sure his bow tie wasn't crooked, he made his way to the front door of the mansion where a footman regarded him coolly. Claude guessed the footman was probably wondering who he was since he certainly didn't come here often and didn't have a companion either.
"Good evening sir. Your invitation please."
With confidence (or at least he appeared to be) Claude handed the invitation Camille had given him the last time they met. After taking a good look at it, the footman smiled and opened the door for him. Claude reminded himself to act cool even though the gesture made him uncomfortable since he wasn't used to things like this. The footman welcomed him in and Claude entered, greeted by the sight of men and women in fancy clothes and couples dancing as a group of musicians played at the side. The moment he heard the door shut behind him Claude wanted to turn back and demand to be let out. He felt so out of place here!
But, he told himself as he calmed down, he was here now and he wouldn't want to break his word to Camille.
Camille. She was the reason he was here in the first place, braving himself in a world so unfamiliar to him. The more he watched the people and things around him the more he got convinced at how different his and Camille's world are. But why was it that, no matter how different it was, the two of them still managed to have feelings for each other? Love really was a strange thing.
"Good evening." a man about the same age as Claude stood before him. Claude cursed at the fact that no matter how much he tried to blend in the background, someone still spotted him.
"Good evening." Claude was glad he still managed to appear and sound civil.
"Are you acquainted with the Blanche family?"
Claude knew someone was bound to ask him this. "I am Miss Camille's childhood friend." Claude was never the kind of pretentious person who will lie about his own background. Social climbing will never be his thing.
"Oh I see. I'm Charles (OC) a cousin of Miss Camille's fiance."
The two shook hands before walking over to the buffet table. Claude realized that he really didn't care about Camille's fiance. He didn't even want to meet the man so he didn't ask Charles about his cousin. Instead he asked about the person he was really interested at.
"I haven't seen Miss Camille yet." Claude said as he and Charles picked at the oysters.
"She hasn't made an appearance yet but maybe in a minute or two now."
The party wasn't big but it still didn't lack in terms of elaborateness. He could see a few people glancing at his direction probably wondering who he was but Claude ignored them, already expecting something like this to happen.
"So." Charles turned back to him, oblivious to the stares some guests were giving. "A childhood friend huh? I'm surprised you two didn't fall in love with each other."
Claude almost spitted out his food. If only this lad knew. Charles looked like he was about to ask another question, when the music and dancing stopped and everyone turned their attention to the grand staircase.
"She's here!" Claude heard Charles exclaim. "My isn't she a beauty!"
Yes, she definitely was. But Claude could not say anything at all. Camille was standing at the first landing, escorted by her mother. Her hair was tied in a bun with curly fringes caressing her ears. She wore a silk blue evening dress that matched the color of her eyes and a glove on each hand. She smiled at the crowd and Claude was speechless at the sight of her. Suddenly, it was like his breathing had become burdensome and he found it hard to speak. The guests were clapping as Camille climbed down the stairs and upon reaching the floor she was approached by a man who took her by the waist. Claude assumed immediately that it was her fiance. But for some reason, his face was a blur. In fact, everything was a blur and the only thing that was clear was her. He was sure there will not be anyone more lovelier in this house right now. The music started, knocking Claude out of his thoughts. Couples joined the floor once again with Camille and her fiance in the middle.
Still, Claude could not take his eyes off her. She glided across the floor so gracefully it almost made him sigh.
"Ugh, dancing. I'd rather eat." this time Charles took a slice of cake with him. For a moment, Claude tore his gaze from Camille but could find he didn't have the appetite tonight specially now that she was here and he found her. Even the cakes laid out before him didn't appear delectable so he took a glass instead and joined Charles. He really didn't have the heart to socialize tonight specially with folks like these but Charles was kind of different and Claude didn't mind a little company for a while, since Camille was still dancing and most probably will mingle with the guests afterwards. It won't be a while 'till they get to be alone.
Ever since Camille spotted him at that corner she tried her best to conceal her delight but it was getting harder and harder now as every minute passed and she wasn't with him. Instead, she was going around the hall, greeting guests, thanking them for coming over and feigning happiness whenever they'd mention her engagement. It was all what she'd been doing so far, like a routine. While her mother talked to a guest, Camille's eyes would wander over to where Claude was and once or twice their eyes would meet and Camille's heart fluttered at the simple gesture. She wished she could be in his company right now instead. How handsome he looked tonight specially in that suit that it was starting to be a struggle to contain herself.
Camille was snapped out of her thoughts by the arrival of her brother. And judging from Eugene's serious expression she already knew that he had noticed it. Eugene excused himself and took Camille away from their mother and the guest she was talking with so they can have a word with each other.
"I see you've invited your secret lover." Eugene's tone implied that he disapproved but had accepted that he couldn't do anything about it now. Camille blushed furiously at her brother's remark. "What of it? He's my childhood friend. I want to see him before I get married."
"Well now, I can see he is more than just a friend to you and I'm sure he feels the same way." Eugene wasn't going to be fooled. He had seen the way Camille stole glances at her "friend". He understood his sister's behavior. He just didn't want any rumor to spread, now that some guests were looking over in Claude's direction.
Eugene sighed. He already knew what his sister was up to. "Just don't do anything scandalous. We wouldn't want any rumors that will tarnish our name now do we?"
Camille giggled at the back of her fan. "It won't be scandalous if we weren't caught."
"I'm serious Camille." Their reputation was on the line here. If someone were to find out about his sister's secret...
"Relax brother. If I didn't care about our family name I would've thrown myself in his arms right now."
Eugene sighed once again. He didn't like that his sister was still in love with her childhood friend. Not because he was discouraging love but because he already knew where this was headed.
"People like us don't marry for love." Eugene hated this fact too as much as Camille hated being reminded of it. As if to remind her more of it, Camille saw her fiance walking towards her, probably going to introduce her to some friends.
"I know that." Camille replied to her brother icily. "But at least, allow me just this night to be with the man I love for one last time."
Eugene was taken aback by Camille's words and was about to say something in response but she had already left, joining her fiance with a smile. Watching her, Eugene knew that it was all a mask and beneath that, the one she really wanted was that man over there standing by the corner across the hall. He had felt the pain in Camille's words when she said she wanted to be with him for one last time. Eugene knew that if he were in that position Camille would've helped him. So being the good brother that he was, he formulated a plan in his mind to get the two to have their alone time. He began to walk towards Claude.
The playroom was still exactly how Claude remembered it. As he walked slowly inside the room, he admired the paintings on the ceiling, mentally commenting how they didn't change over the years. Memories from his childhood were starting to push through his mind. Normally he would've put them at the back of his mind the moment they start to surface but right now, he let himself reminisce. He continued to admire the room until he realized that he wasn't alone. Claude stopped when he reached the balcony. There, standing under the glow of the moonlight was Camille herself. Her back was still turned to him, not noticing that he was already there. But Claude didn't make a sound yet. He wanted to enjoy the sight of her for a while knowing that he may never had a chance like this again. A minute had passed before he finally decided to announce his presence.
"Ditching your own party Miss Camille?"
Camille, who was thinking about him the whole time she was there, almost jumped at the sound of his voice. She turned around and it was like her breath was being taken away just by looking at him. Up close, she could see he was even more dashing, she could pretend he was her prince who'd come to save her and take her far, far away.
He joined her side and even though they did not touch, Camille was already started to feel warm. "Isn't that where we used to play?" Claude pointed at the land below them. They were facing the backyard where they used to play so Claude wouldn't be discovered. Looking at it now, Camille could almost conjure up images of their younger selves sitting on the grass and playing with the stray cats. It reminded Camille of that one particular conversation. A bittersweet smile crossed her lips as she recalled it. They may be young back then but Camille was already aware of the kind of world she lived in, enough to know that her parents will never allow her to be with Claude and so she asked him to be her lover instead. Only until now she didn't know the answer.
"Yes it brings back memories doesn't it?"Camille tried to sound cheerful but in truth her heart was pounding from what she was going to say and how she will breach it. But luckily she didn't have to try very hard.
"So." Claude took a deep breath. "We both know you didn't invite me out here just to reminisce. What do you really want?"
Camille knew there was no hurry. They had all the time to themselves and her brother had helped her with it. A while ago while she was with her fiance she caught her brother talking to Claude and not long after that her brother went to her and excused himself so they could talk. Then, he told her of the plan: he will tell her fiance and anyone who will come looking for her, that she had gone upstairs for some fresh air. And then with the guise that Claude is his "friend" they will talk for a while to make it seem normal until Claude will pretend that he feels lightheaded so Eugene can steer him away from the party. Her brother had promised that he'll try to stop anyone from coming up so they wouldn't get caught. Camille had thanked her brother for it. And now the moment had come and she wasn't going to put her efforts and her brother's efforts in vain. This was going to be a bold request but whatever. She didn't care about propriety anymore specially not at this moment.
"I want you to be my first kiss."
Claude didn't try to hide his surprise at the request. His eyes grew wide from what he just heard and he can feel the heat rise up to his cheeks. "You mean you've never been kissed? Not even by..."
Camille shook her head. She already knew that Claude was referring to her fiance. "I'm not allowed to see him without the company of my maid or some other female. Besides, I hardly know him."
"You hardly know the man you're marrying?" Claude said in disbelief
"Isn't that what arranged marriages are? You only get to know each other once you're together."
Claude shook his head from the absurdity of it all. He couldn't imagine marrying someone who was a complete stranger to him. But then again, he inhabited a different world from Camille and he will never understand their ways. "So...will you do it for me?" Camille turned back to Claude, her heart racing with anticipation.
"I...I don't know Camille. This is wrong." But his mind was telling him the opposite. He avoided Camille's gaze, not wanting to give out the fact that he wanted to kiss her too and how badly he wanted to do that ever since he realized his feelings for her. He's only been restraining himself this whole time because the moment he realized his feelings it also came with it the crushing truth that they can never be together. He was just an ordinary boy. Who was he to yearn for someone whose status was obviously above him? And so, he built up walls around his heart, hoping those feelings will go away. But now, as Camille stepped closer, those walls began to crumble and no matter how much he tried to avoid it, the feelings were still there and it had only gotten stronger.
Camille reached for his hand and squeezed it. "No, our love can never be wrong."
She was right. It was only society that was telling them so. But right now, with just the two of them on that balcony Claude could pretend that they had their own little world where the rules of society did not exist and they were just two people in love, no social standing separating them. Claude finally looked up to meet her gaze and once again Camille felt breathless, her heart bursting into song just by gazing back at his blue eyes that will forever remind her of the sky. On the day she invited him and they sat together, side by side at the park, she had been admiring the sky and when she turned to Claude it was like getting herself lost into her own personal sky. Right now she was feeling it all over again.
"Camille, I..."
"Ssssh." Camille brought her finger to Claude's lips to make him shut up. "Just kiss me. That is all I'm asking."
Claude was aware of his own desire and it was getting harder to resist what with the little space left between them. Then, he remembered his grandfather's words before he had left for the party. Whatever you decide to do tonight make sure you won't regret it.
Gazing into Camille's eyes he realized that the only regret he'll have is if he will let this chance pass. Isn't that what he came here for? To have one last moment before...
Claude didn't even want to think about it. Without another word, he moved his hands and placed it at the back of her waist and Camille threw her arms around his neck. How long she had waited for this. Tilting his head sideways, Claude leaned in closer and the next thing they knew their lips were pressed against each other and they both felt like they had waited an eternity just for this moment.
Camille felt her knees weaken, almost like they'd turned into jelly and any minute now she'll melt in his arms. She couldn't help it. She smiled as she kissed him back.
Claude smiled as well. Her lips tasted so sweet he feared he might get addicted. And he wasn't even a fan of sweets to begin with. They find themselves giggling because they both cannot contain their smiles, making it difficult for them to kiss. As he placed his forehead against hers, Claude knew in that moment that the walls he had built around himself were now completely crashing down. He kissed her again.
It was only today that Camille discovered heaven had an end. And that was when their lips had parted and Claude drew back, gently pushing himself from her. Suddenly, their little world was gone and they were back to reality. But at least she had enjoyed it while it lasted.
"You should go back to the party." Claude said. He turned his back to her, for fear that she might notice he was getting teary eyed. A lump formed in his throat as he remembered that he will never have a chance like this again and soon she will have another man kissing her.
"Claude..." Camille reached for him and grabbed him by the elbow. "Don't go. I still have something I want to say to you."
He wanted to say something to her too but didn't dare turn around and face her again because he was afraid that if he did, if he saw her lovely face again, he might not be able to control himself. "I'm not content with being your lover, Camille."
Finally, she had the answer to her childhood question. But it didn't bother her now. A part of her already knew that Claude will never accept to it, he was just that kind of person. She continued to hold his arm, afraid that he might slip away and she'll never get the chance to say the things she wanted to tell him. Because just like the kiss, they only have tonight, this moment. When they walk out of that door, what happened tonight will only remain a secret to the both of them.
"I know. I understand. I just want to tell you that he will never be you. Even if I do marry him and had children, he can never replace you." Her voice was cracking now, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. But she kept on. "Even if I did grow to love him, my love for you will always be different."
There. She finally let her feelings out, her declaration of love. She didn't expect Claude to say something in return. After all he wasn't the emotional type of person. But she felt glad that this night hadn't gone to waste.
Claude turned around so abruptly that Camille immediately released her grasp on his arm. His face was serious but his eyes had that tender, loving gaze that he rarely showed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him until her head rested against his chest. Camille closed her eyes, savoring the moment. She felt home in his arms but how cruel it was, to think that she will never go there again.
"I love you too." Claude whispered in her ear before finally letting her go. Camille watched him walk away, her heart getting heavier with every step he took. As soon as he was gone, Camille collapsed to the floor on her knees, covering her face with her hands. They have gone their separate ways now. Who knows maybe in the future they'll bump into each other while out shopping. They'll probably exchange pleasantries and as they part ways they'll silently remember this night and the love they once shared.
When Claude got home that night, he was glad his grandfather and Yune were already asleep. He clearly didn't have the energy to answer any of their questions right now. Perhaps tomorrow, he said as he threw himself on his bed after removing his shoes. Tomorrow he will go back to tending the shop and it will be just another normal day.
But tonight, he let the tears fall from his eyes as his head leaned against the pillow. He began to imagine what it would be like if he suddenly barged in their wedding and declared in front of everyone that he loves her. But it might as well be a fanciful daydream. Claude rolled over to the side facing the window. He stared at the full moon and the stars that decorated the night sky, that will always be a reminder of his first love.
And tomorrow, everything associated with it will just be another bittersweet memory.