Renesmee Cullen

By: BirdieTitus

*Okay…this is Renesmee's birth…..SRRY Team Ed! *-Robin

9 months, day before the due date….

"E-Edward….."

"NOOOOOO!"

I watch as Edward grips his pregnant stomach as we head towards the front doors.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, calm down and SHUT UP!"

Edward looks at me with his topaz eyes….and he starts to try and cry.

"Y-You wanted a baby!"

At the hospital…

"Edward please relax, you will need to push in a moment"

I look at Carlisle's stressed out face and hope he gives me some reassurance too.

"Bella, he needs to relax…rub his stomach"

I walk over to Edward, who's trying his hardest to cry, and rub his stomach softly.

"Edward, you will be fine….please calm down!"

I see as Edward's beautiful pale face relaxes and his topaz eyes lock with mine.

"Please… stop….. this… pain….love"

I look over to Carlisle who's poking a needle in Edward's muscular arm.

"Here's something that will help Edward"

"AHH….hhhh…..mmmmmm….blah!"

I look at Edward's drugged out expression and jump back as he grabs my arm.

"HAVING MY BABY….mmmm" Edward cries out and then passes out.

"He will be fine Bella," Carlisle whispers pulling me aside, "…..but he will need you when Renesmee comes"

Really?

Two hours in labor later…

"C-Come on Edward….PUSH!"

Edward's once pale beautiful face, sweaty and red from pushing for twenty minutes turns to me and glares with darkness.

"I SHOULD HAVE LET JASPER EAT YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!"

"EDWARD!"

"SHUT UP BELLA, YOU WILL SCARE THE BABY WITH YOU'RE MAN VOICE!"

"STOP IT EDWARD AND PUSH!" Carlisle commands shutting us both up, "….I can see her head!"

"I REFUSE TO PUSH ANYMORE!"

"PUSH OR I WILL TAKE YOUR GLITTER GLOSS AWAY!"

"She's here!" Esme cries in tears as we hear our little baby cry out.

Edward looks Renesmee and than at me…and passes out…again.

"Well…" I hear Emmett say behind me slapping me on the shoulders, "….you're a daddy Bells!"

Really?

Three days out of the hospital later….

"Bella, Renesmee needs a diaper change!"

I walk into our bedroom to find Edward lying in the bed, watching "True Blood" on HBO, eating a huge bag of "Dove" chocolate.

"Why don't you do it, you're the one who wanted to lose the baby weight!"

"I'M TRYING!" Edward cries throwing the chocolates in the floor and standing up to reveal a flannel nightgown with a big beer gut sticking out of it.

"Yeah, by drinking alcohol and eating chocolates!"

"SHUT UP!"

I dodge as he throws pillows, a blanket, and a rattle at me.

"You don't love me anymore, do you?"

I sigh looking up at my once gorgeous husband's face to see two double chins and five o'clock shadow.

"Uhhhh, I didn't say that…..I do….l-love you"

Really?

At a local bar downtown…

"Well how's fatherhood Bells?"

I look up from my puddle of drool on the bar, to find Jacob and Emmett grinning wildly at me.

"Exhausting and painful….."

"Well Bells, look on the bright side….." Jacob snickers sitting down on the barstool beside me, "….you're the p-prettiest now!"

I glare at Jacob who's laughing his head off and look to see Emmett yelling an announcement to everyone.

"Hey this young lady here is a….DADDY!"

Really?

Two Years Later….

"Mommy, Mommy!"

I jump up from the couch and see Renesmee rushing towards me in the living room.

"I'm right here sweetie!"

Renesmee squeals with glee and I start to rush to her as well.

"No, no Daddy!"

I stop dead in front of her as she puts her little hand up to me.

"I want Mommy!"

"Here I am Renesmee!"

I turn in horror to see Edward pick Renesmee up, in a flannel sundress.

I close my eyes to see if I'm dreaming but, open my eyes when I suddenly feel Edward's hand on my arm.

"Bella love, we have another"

Really?

THE END!
*In the immortal words of Jack Sparrow, "couldn't resist mate"*-Robin