This is the result of a Valentine's challenge between Batwings79 and myself. The rules were that it had to include a verse or song and a new invention. My offering is set in my AU world of the Yorkshire Tea Room in which Elsie has retired to run a tea shop with Mrs. Patmore.

Disclaimer: Don't own them, earn nothing from them. If I owned them, they would be having a very happy Valentine's Day.

Charles was positive that he was going to be sick. He thought it might have a bit to do with sampling the chocolatier's wares while deciding on his gift for Elsie, but he was certain that it had much more to do with his current task. Finding the perfect gift to give Elsie for St. Valentine's Day hadn't been too difficult. He'd only had to go to five different shops and change his mind three times before settling on what he knew would be the perfect gift. It might be a little unconventional, but he was sure that she would love it. Reasonably sure. Somewhat sure. Well, perhaps she might not hate it and would appreciate the thought behind it. After all, she should know that he had studiously ignored this day for well over twenty years. He couldn't be blamed if he wanted to find his lady friend a perfect and unique gift, could he? He hoped not. A chilly Valentine's eve was not what he was hoping for.

No, his difficulty now lay in trying to find the perfect card. He was near the end of his patience. He immediately ruled out all cards with half-naked babes holding miniscule bows. That had eliminated nearly half the store's supply. Now, he was actually looking at all the cards and putting most of them back on the shelf in disgust when he read the verse,

"Valentine, I want 'tomato' with you." He snorted at the thought that someone would actually send this card and think it quite witty.

He glimpsed a simple card behind one with two doves pulling an over large, lacy heart:

"Six and twenty letters has the alphabet.
So say all the masters you have met.
But the sweetest Valentine so true
is the twenty first 'cause tis U."

That one wasn't horrible, but somehow seemed out of place as well. He tried to imagine Elsie's face when she opened it and could only see an exasperated roll of her eyes. With a sigh, he put the card back on the shelf.

There was a card with two teacups. That might be appropriate for the owner of a tea shop. It also reminded him of many pleasant evenings sharing tea in her sitting room. Then he saw the rhyme on the front and the silly smiles on the front of the teacups. "Valentine, you suit me to a tea."

Ugh. This was impossible. He shifted his package to his other arm. He was never going to find the right card. Visions of the disaster that would befall him flashed through his mind. He would never find the right card. Elsie would despise him. She would never let him escort her to church again. He would never have the opportunity to find that particular spot below her left ear again with his lips. She would never teasingly brush her fingers over the edge of his collar again or allow him to put his arm around her shoulders while they sat before the fire. He was definitely going to be sick. Actually, he was feeling dizzy. Perhaps he should just leave. She didn't have to have a card, did she? After all, he had a gift for her. The perfect gift as far as he was concerned.

Just as he was ready to leave the store, he stopped himself. How many Valentine's cards had Elsie ever received? None since he'd known her. It had always been his duty to sort the mail, and he surely would have noticed that. He might have been tempted to chuck it in the bin, but he would have noticed. Taking a deep breath and straightening his shoulders, he turned back to the cards with resolve. She deserved a Valentine. The best Valentine he could find. He was walking out with her, and it was his responsibility to see that she was happy. If he had to spend the rest of his afternoon searching through these cards, he would find the right one.

~C~C~E~H~

At Charles's insistence, Elsie opened the heavy gift first. She looked first at it, and then him with a curious expression. "Charles, it's lovely, but you know that I already have one of these."

"Not like this," he said with a broad grin and took it from her hands, "Look, it pops up! Here, let's just…"

Carrying the toaster to the sideboard, he plugged it in and put two pieces of toast in the slots. Then with a significant glance at her, he turned the dial to its lowest setting and pushed down the handle.

Turning to her patiently, he recited what the salesman had told him nearly word for word, "See, you put the bread in, turn the dial, and when it is done…" He paused dramatically, expecting the toast to pop up. When it didn't right away, he frowned down at the toaster in consternation and bent over to look down into the slots.

Elsie clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh when the toast popped out and caught him on his nose. He glared at her, and she leaned forward to place a kiss on the bridge of his nose and soothe his ego.

"Thank you Charles. That was a lovely gift. The best I've ever received. And the chocolate…"

"With nuts," he added, kissing her lightly on the mouth.

"With nuts," she agreed, nodding and laughing, "It's the best Valentine's I've ever had."

"I'm glad to have been able to do this for you," he said solemnly, "A man should do this for the woman he's walking out with, but there's one other thing."

"Something else?" she looked at him curiously.

He rubbed the top of his ear and tugged at his collar, "Yes, well, there is, I hope you won't be disappointed. It was so hard to find the right one you see…"

As he spoke, he reached into his inner jacket pocket and withdrew a stiff envelope. Elsie looked at him curiously as she took it from his hands.

He watched her expectantly while she ran her finger under the seal, but had to look away when she drew the card from the envelope.

Her silence made him feel the need to explain, "None of the cards seemed right; silly puns and rhymes, half-naked babes on the front or doves or swans. They just didn't seem to fit you. I wanted you to have something special that was just for you. I'm sorry that I couldn't come up with something better."

When he finally met her gaze again, he saw tears on her lashes. Wonderful. Now he'd really botched it. She was crying because she realized her terrible mistake in ever agreeing to walk out with him. Just when he was ready to extricate himself from her arms, she drew him to her for a long kiss.

After several long moments and a few more kisses, she said, "It's perfect. I would never want anything different."

He drew her to him so that he could nuzzle the spot just below her left ear, and the card fell from her hand so that she could trace the skin above the edge of his collar with the tips of her fingers. After several moments and when he was feeling dizzy from her kisses, he drew her toward the settee by the fire. She paused for a moment to pick up the plain cream coloured card with two interlocking hearts drawn on the front. Opening it, she traced the neat script with her finger before placing it on the mantle.

"E-

All my love.

Always-C"

When they had settled down with his arm around her shoulders and his lips on her temple, she said, "Cherubs."

Distracted by brushing the side of her breast with his fingers, he was confused, "Beg pardon?"

She turned her head so that she could kiss him, "Those half-naked babes are cherubs Charles. Little angels."

He grunted and murmured against her lips, "Not proper if you ask me. Nor smiling teacups either."

"Smiling teacups?" she asked, pulling away.

He gave her a disappointed frown, "I'll explain later. Now come give your gentleman friend a kiss."

And she did.

Reviews are welcome and best Valentine's wishes to all.