Disclaimer: I do not own Animal Crossing

Elry is a troubled young man living is Nonnol. He struggles with minutely urges- if you get what I mean.

His best friend Zeer, is a drunk, gambling, thief who doesn't know the definition of 'sober'.

Rohan, Elry's girlfriend, is by far the most normal. She enjoys being with her boyfriend, cooking, and of course, cleaning up after Elry.

One of my characters, Ben, is Santa's evil helper. In her town, it is Christmas every day. She and three elves, who you'll meet later, hunt down Jingle and give the presents to Santa. The purpose of that is unknown right now…

Now let's begin!

Elry woke up and reached for his Mario statue. Oh, how he loved that thing. Day in and day out, Mario was there for him. He never went to Nintendo-Land to meet him in person, because once he saw the real Mario, he would have been arrested for " The Sexual Harassment Of Video Game Characters That Only Exist When A Nerd Dresses Up In A Costume And Gets Paid For It Act"- or the SHOVGCTOEWANDUIACAGPFI Act. He didn't like his Luigi statue though, it gave him nightmares. So he kept in a locked up closet.

He ran outside and saw a notice on the notice board. It read:

Dear Elry,

Zeer and I have gone out of town for a, uh… meeting. That's it a meeting! We went for a meeting and wont be back until the story is done. We will write! Bye!

Elry sighed "O well, as long as Mario is still here. " He looked over to his Mario statue that was chained up like a dog, and smiled at it

He then went down to Fang's house. Well, where his how used to be, anyway. He liked the way his teeth were all shiny. But once Fang tried to eat him and scarred Elry's feelings so badly, that he remembered that he didn't like Fang anymore.(and fang had moved)

-FLASHBACK-

Fang waved to Elry and shouted " Hey, Elry!"

Elry noticed fang gardening and ran over to him. " Hey, Fang. Whatcha up to?"

Fang shuffled his feet around and his eyes darted around. " Oh, nothing. Say, I got a tooth ache, will you take a look at it?"

Elry, oblivious to the up coming danger, over excitedly yelled out " Sure!"

Fang, still looking nervous, jumped onto Elry before he even moved. " Blood! Blood! Give it to me!" His eyes started twitching.

" Hey, hum, Fang? Could you not be so ruff? I am a little sore in that area still from last night."

Fang runs off because he doesn't want to remember last night. " That's OK! I don't want blood that badly! By the way, you can keep the sex toy, I don't need it!

-Back To The Present-

Elry's feelings had been hurt. He loved Fang so much. He was also sad that Fang had just moved to Zaydo. ( Zaydo is Ben's town) So he decided against going to see Fang.

Elry walked around Nonnol hoping to find something of interest. Sure, there was the Faraway Museum and Nookingtons and the Senior Strip Club. But Elry didn't seem to care about any of these things. All he wanted to do was go and play if you get my drift with Mario.

He returned to his house with a surprise.

" HOW DARE YOU!" he screamed at Mario, who was trying to unlock the locked closet.

" But I justa wanteda to see my brothera!" Mario said, in a cheesy Italian accent.

" No, you just wanted to get your brother and run away from me and Maxi-million ! again, if you get my drift"

" NO! I WANT TO SEE HIM! You have had him locked up in here since the day we immigrated here, and you turned me into your personal sex-slave! How dare you judge us like that! Judging people by the color of their skin. Judging books by their cover. Judging US by the color of our hats!" He lost his accent, which was fake, and started to cry.

Elry shifted and started speaking in a speechy voice " Mario, its not your hat, its not what is on the outside, its what's in your video game pants. That's all. Luigi over there is small, and lifeless, and give me nightmares…."

Mario nodded approvingly. He banged on the closet door to get his brother's attention. "See bro! I told you smarts didn't matter, and its not in your head. Its in your pants!"

Luigi said in a coarse, also cheesy accent, " Ima not awearing anya pantas! Elry tooka thema!"

Mario turned and looked at Elry.

Elry coughed. " Um, Mario. I can explain." He fidgeted " Its just that I look so damn hot in these things!" Elry whistled and smacked his butt " By the way, how'd you get out of your chains?"

" Oh, Sir Gulabethary 4th let me out."

" SHIT!" Elry ran outside to the side of his house where his gyroid sat every day. " Gary! Gary! Where are you?"

Sir Gulabethary came out from behind a tree holding a knife. "Hey, hey, hey. Why, its Elry. How nice to see you." Sir Gulabethary took a couple steps forward so he was nose to nose with Elry. He held up the knife to Elry's throat as he grabbed his shirt collar.

" Uhm Gary? That hurts, please stop." Elry whimpered.

" OH, so YOU want me to stop, huh? You think I can't move from that spot over there? I can and if you call me Gary once more, I will kill you. Kill you in cold blood. My full name is Sir Gulabethary Tonas Rung Geyony Ferric 4th. Got that?"

Elry nodded, but, somehow, didn't really understand. " Gary, you're scaring me."

" What did I tell you fool? I said I would Kill you! KILL!" Sir Gulabethary poked the knife into Elry's throat a litte bit.

Elry, still not understanding, decided to play along. " I am sorry Sir Gulabethary, I won't call you Gary again." He lied.

Sir Gulabethary nodded and let Elry's shirt go. He put away his knife and smiled sweetly then said, "That's all I wanted. Please, continue on, and save." He walked over to his spot beside the house and sent Elry into a house with a light and a town member. He was secretly planning to frame Elry and get him arrested for the SHOVGCTOEWANDUIACAGPFI Act.