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Regret In Passing
The day the parcel arrived seemed like any other day in his life. Severus had fallen into a fairly staid routine since graduating five years ago. The only things that spiced up his otherwise reserved existence were the occasional reports of growing dissension among the younger generation of the Wizarding upper class.
The parcel broke up a monotonous week and changed something deep within him.
It wasn't large or heavy, this parcel; little bigger than a book. Square and rigid, it was wrapped in several layers of plain, brown paper. He didn't recognise the hand that had written his name and address, and so was cautious with the opening.
As the last layer of wrapping was cleared away, a small sheet of white paper fell to the table as he held an object wrapped in black velvet.
The note caught his attention, resting there against the dark wood of his table and he replaced the package to peruse it first. His eyes widened as he read the words.
My dear Severus,
When you receive this, I will already be dead. You may not mourn my passing, though that thought grieves me greatly. Please know that I am sorry. Sorry that I could not be to you what she was.
I sincerely hope that you are not offended by my parting gift. Of all the people I have known, you are the one I regret leaving the most.
I wish you great happiness, Sev.
Yours forever,
Charlotte Rosier
It took time for him to recover from this news and he sat staring at the parcel until well into the evening.
He remembered Charlotte; how could he not. She had been in Slytherin with him, in his year; the only daughter born to the Pureblood Rosier family in that generation. She was a quiet presence in the halls of Hogwarts but no less powerful because of that. She was intelligent, quick-witted and brilliantly clever with charms.
She had held him in high regard; a rare condescension for a half-blood, but remained silent toward any romantic entanglement. Though she never said, he knew this was not due to her indifference but because of his. Instead, she was aloof of the intrigues and scandals of the school, only acting as support when she viewed it necessary for him.
As she had that one day: the day that his life changed.
It had been a difficult day. The Gryffindors were at their worst, egged on by James' jealousy over Lily's attentions. Severus had felt mounting pressure for weeks, to cut all ties with her and his frustrations were running high.
He'd finally escaped from them, after they had cornered him. The humiliation he'd experienced at their hands pushed him beyond his tolerance. For a split second, his friendship with Lily had not seemed worth it. The hurt that he'd seen in Lily's alluring green eyes had cut straight to his heart, but he refused to grovel for her forgiveness.
He stormed through up the hallway, the scowl on his face evidence of the emotional turmoil that bubbled below the surface. His feet were taking him away from the source of his anguish as quickly as they were able.
At least, that had been the plan, before he crashed face first into an invisible barrier. A door closed behind him, though he didn't hear it as his attention was focused on ascertaining the state of his nose.
"Severus." The quiet but firm voice caused him to turn.
His hand fell away, his mouth shut and he drew back slightly, feeling the urge to straighten in her presence but not willing to comply.
There was a sharp glint in her dark eyes as her brow creased in a frown and she took in his appearance. He realised then, that he must look atrocious. There were leaves in his hair and stuck to his cloak. The leg of his trousers had ripped, his tie was askew and his shirt was hanging loose. He turned away, unwilling to face her displeasure on top of everything else.
Her light touch on his arm stopped him in place, her fingers curling into his sleeve as she stepped up to confront him.
"Oh, Sev." She sighed, mournfully. He stood frozen as her magic washed over him, surprised by her skill with wand-less non-verbal charms. The tear in his trousers re-knitted, his shirt tucked in, returned to pristine white. The dirt, leaves and grass stains disappeared from his clothes and robe and the wrinkles were ironed away.
He stared down at her sad smile as she tidied his appearance. A little of the sadness faded from her face when she looked up to find him watching her. She straightened his tie gently, stepping up onto an invisible step so that she could more easily match his height.
"My, my, Sev. But you are in a mood today." She murmured, running her fingers through his hair, smoothing it back and removing the foreign objects that didn't belong.
Her soft hand caressed his cheek and he looked away, resisting the urge to lean into it. She stared at him for a brief moment, before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Before he could analyse his shock, behind them, way down the corridor, a door banged closed and a noisy group of people approached. She stepped down ad away, her hand on his cheek, their last point of contact.
The crowd paused upon noticing their presence and she glanced at them briefly before flashing him a saucy smile.
"Go on, Severus. Give us a sneer."
He looked back down the corridor and saw his tormentors watching them curiously. He saw her wink at him, out of the corner of his eye, and sneered.
Then he strode away, his now immaculate cloak billowing behind him.
He recalled that Lucius Malfoy had watched that exchange and nodded as he'd passed. That day had marked the beginning of his acceptance by the upper echelon of his Slytherin peers. His friendship with Lucius and his group was cemented, his relationship with Lily was gone, and another girl had wormed her way into his heart.
The package proved, when he finally opened it, to be a small portrait of her. She must have had it commissioned not long after graduation; she hadn't changed at all. She still smiled her secretive smile at him; her dark eyes shone with life; her high cheekbones rouged with healthy colour remained in contrast with her elegantly coiffed dark hair.
The frame was never empty whenever he stood before it, but in all the years it hanged on the wall at Spinner's End, she only ever spoke once, the night he unwrapped the frame.
"Oh, Severus, you were my only regret."