Disclamer: Don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter. Wish I did
but I don't.
Author's note: This is a challenge fic and the challenge is one I got from my friend Kim. I don't know where she got it but I just wanted to flex my rusty writing skills.
Draco must say, "Damn, the monkey bubbles are after me again."
Snape must wear something tight and leather, but act as though nothing odd is going on.
Harry must die
Voldemort must say something about pink bunnies
Just Finch-Fletchley must get mad about cheese
Someone must eat pants
Someone must die other than Harry
Voldemort must be good – if only for two seconds
Must end with the line "And THAT'S why I bought the Muggle radio for 652 Galleons and 62 cents." Or a semi-alteration.
And HEEEEEEERES the story!
Draco rounded the corner and bumped into Snape who was coming out of the Slytherin house.
"Oh. Sorry Professor." Draco apologized quickly. Draco suddenly realized that all Professor Snape had on was a small tight leather thong.
"Professor!!!!" Draco nearly dropped the book he was holding.
"What are you doing out here at this time of night?" Snape snapped.
"Nothing!" Draco responded.
"Fine. Well get back to bed. Got it?" Draco nodded and with that they went their separate ways. Draco looked back behind him. There were bubbles floating about. He began to sprint away and saw one coming closer and becoming bigger. He turned around and stopped. He closed his eyes.
"Damn, the monkey bubbles are after me again."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Draco turned around only to come face to face with Lord Voldemort.
" My liege!" Draco bowed down quickly and kissed the hem of Voldemorts robes.
" Young Malfoy… I have a special task for you. You must kill Harry Potter." He whispered through his teeth.
" Yes sir! It would be my honor."
**Later at care for magical creatures class.**
"So Potter. I heard you're a major pant licker." Draco commented to Harry while Hagrid was busy getting out their next project… fluffy pink bunnies.
"What the hell does that mean Malfoy?" Harry whispered back.
"Woops… I mean pant eater!" Draco whispered a spell and before Harry knew what was going on there was a pair of pants in his mouth and his jaw was moving without him wanting it to.
"MMMPHHHHH!!!!" Harry tried to scream.
"'ARRY!!!" Hagrid ran over and started to try and help Ron and Hermione pull the pants out of Harry's mouth. While everyone was distracted by the horrible yet immensely funny situation with Harry, Malfoy slipped a large chunk of cheese into Harry's bag. He looked upon the site amused and then he spot the open cage of pink fluffy bunnies. He grabbed one and put it into his bag.
**Later in the great hall**
"Oh if I ever get my hands on Malfoy!" Harry mumbled as he set his bag next to him and started eating.
"I can't believe that he actually new that spell. You're not even allowed to try it until you're a 6th year." Hermione added as she sat down next to Harry.
"Well… at least the pants weren't that long. You ate them pretty quickly." Joined in Ron.
"At least they weren't corduroy." Harry sighed. He suddenly remembered something and looked over at Hermione. She blushed. He looked over at Ron. He sat there with a huge grin on his face and was also blushing. Harry was going to say something when suddenly the doors of the great hall burst open and slammed against the walls.
"WHERE IS MY CHEESE?!?!?!" It was Justin Finch-Fletchley and he was pissed. Everyone stared at him as he started to sniff the air. He began to weave around everyone until he came to Harry's bag.
"Go away Justin. I don't have your cheese." Harry said as he moved slightly away from Justin. Justin hissed and tore Harry's bag to pieces. The lay in the ruins was the golden piece of cheese.
"So…" Justin growled at Harry. Justin took out his wand and blew Harry into a thousand little pieces.
"What the…?" Dumbledore shouted. Everyone gasped.
"Harry!" Cried Ron. A single tear rolled down his face and he turned to Justin who was eating his cheese happily. " I'll kill you!!!" He jumped on Justin, jabbed him his wand, shoved it into Justin's eye, and shouted a curse. Ron got up just as Justin began to convulse and turn into a puddle of blood and black stuff.
"RON!!! Who do you think you are! I will go medieval on you!!!" Dumbledore shouted at Ron. The headmaster conjured up ropes and drag Ron off. Draco and his cronies began to giggle. Hermione looked at the remains of Harry.
"We weren't suppose to learn that until 7th year."
**Later at Voldemort's hideout. **
"Sir, Harry Potter is dead." Draco bowed down under the dark lords gaze and the proud gaze of his father.
"So I have heard. We are all quite proud of your accomplishments." Voldemort responded glancing over at Lucius.
"Also sir… I brought you this token of my loyalty." Draco pulled out the small pink fluffy bunny and brought it to his master. Voldemort became a little misty eyed.
"How did you know that… that I always wanted one. Thank you! " He let out trying to keep back tears. He got up and hugged Draco. He suddenly realized his display of affection and dropped Draco. "Well… you will be well rewarded for your deeds."
**Later at Dumbledore's office. **
" What were you thinking you little prat?!" Let the grown ups handle these things!!! **cough** Sorry… what I am trying to say is that there are better ways of handling things like that. I'm sorry but you'll have to be taken away by the dementors." Dumbledore clapped his hands and two dementors came and took Ron away. Dumbledore sat there looking down at his hands folded neatly in his lap. Suddenly there was a knocking on the door. "Come in."
"Oh sir… I heard you wanted to see me." Snape poked his head in.
"Oh yes. This is about you're "activities" with a certain slytherian girl." Snape sat down across from the headmaster.
"Sir I can explain…"
"No need. You can continue it."
"Sir…" Snape looked surprised at the answer that he received.
"You know what they say… without chaos there can be no order. And we have had a little too much order around here." Dumbledore got up and walked to the door.
"Thank you sir! Hed… I mean the girl shall be very pleased." Snape said as he got out of his chair and went over the Dumbledore.
"Come walk with me out in the field. Helps clear the mind. This reminds me of the time I accidentally ate a puke flavored jelly bean." He and Snape exited.
** Later at Ron's cell. **
Ron sat there talking to the dementor through the bars.
"And THAT'S why I bought the Muggle radio for 652 Galleons and 62 cents." Ron tried to explain. The dementor nodded.
THE END
Author's note: This is a challenge fic and the challenge is one I got from my friend Kim. I don't know where she got it but I just wanted to flex my rusty writing skills.
Draco must say, "Damn, the monkey bubbles are after me again."
Snape must wear something tight and leather, but act as though nothing odd is going on.
Harry must die
Voldemort must say something about pink bunnies
Just Finch-Fletchley must get mad about cheese
Someone must eat pants
Someone must die other than Harry
Voldemort must be good – if only for two seconds
Must end with the line "And THAT'S why I bought the Muggle radio for 652 Galleons and 62 cents." Or a semi-alteration.
And HEEEEEEERES the story!
Draco rounded the corner and bumped into Snape who was coming out of the Slytherin house.
"Oh. Sorry Professor." Draco apologized quickly. Draco suddenly realized that all Professor Snape had on was a small tight leather thong.
"Professor!!!!" Draco nearly dropped the book he was holding.
"What are you doing out here at this time of night?" Snape snapped.
"Nothing!" Draco responded.
"Fine. Well get back to bed. Got it?" Draco nodded and with that they went their separate ways. Draco looked back behind him. There were bubbles floating about. He began to sprint away and saw one coming closer and becoming bigger. He turned around and stopped. He closed his eyes.
"Damn, the monkey bubbles are after me again."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Draco turned around only to come face to face with Lord Voldemort.
" My liege!" Draco bowed down quickly and kissed the hem of Voldemorts robes.
" Young Malfoy… I have a special task for you. You must kill Harry Potter." He whispered through his teeth.
" Yes sir! It would be my honor."
**Later at care for magical creatures class.**
"So Potter. I heard you're a major pant licker." Draco commented to Harry while Hagrid was busy getting out their next project… fluffy pink bunnies.
"What the hell does that mean Malfoy?" Harry whispered back.
"Woops… I mean pant eater!" Draco whispered a spell and before Harry knew what was going on there was a pair of pants in his mouth and his jaw was moving without him wanting it to.
"MMMPHHHHH!!!!" Harry tried to scream.
"'ARRY!!!" Hagrid ran over and started to try and help Ron and Hermione pull the pants out of Harry's mouth. While everyone was distracted by the horrible yet immensely funny situation with Harry, Malfoy slipped a large chunk of cheese into Harry's bag. He looked upon the site amused and then he spot the open cage of pink fluffy bunnies. He grabbed one and put it into his bag.
**Later in the great hall**
"Oh if I ever get my hands on Malfoy!" Harry mumbled as he set his bag next to him and started eating.
"I can't believe that he actually new that spell. You're not even allowed to try it until you're a 6th year." Hermione added as she sat down next to Harry.
"Well… at least the pants weren't that long. You ate them pretty quickly." Joined in Ron.
"At least they weren't corduroy." Harry sighed. He suddenly remembered something and looked over at Hermione. She blushed. He looked over at Ron. He sat there with a huge grin on his face and was also blushing. Harry was going to say something when suddenly the doors of the great hall burst open and slammed against the walls.
"WHERE IS MY CHEESE?!?!?!" It was Justin Finch-Fletchley and he was pissed. Everyone stared at him as he started to sniff the air. He began to weave around everyone until he came to Harry's bag.
"Go away Justin. I don't have your cheese." Harry said as he moved slightly away from Justin. Justin hissed and tore Harry's bag to pieces. The lay in the ruins was the golden piece of cheese.
"So…" Justin growled at Harry. Justin took out his wand and blew Harry into a thousand little pieces.
"What the…?" Dumbledore shouted. Everyone gasped.
"Harry!" Cried Ron. A single tear rolled down his face and he turned to Justin who was eating his cheese happily. " I'll kill you!!!" He jumped on Justin, jabbed him his wand, shoved it into Justin's eye, and shouted a curse. Ron got up just as Justin began to convulse and turn into a puddle of blood and black stuff.
"RON!!! Who do you think you are! I will go medieval on you!!!" Dumbledore shouted at Ron. The headmaster conjured up ropes and drag Ron off. Draco and his cronies began to giggle. Hermione looked at the remains of Harry.
"We weren't suppose to learn that until 7th year."
**Later at Voldemort's hideout. **
"Sir, Harry Potter is dead." Draco bowed down under the dark lords gaze and the proud gaze of his father.
"So I have heard. We are all quite proud of your accomplishments." Voldemort responded glancing over at Lucius.
"Also sir… I brought you this token of my loyalty." Draco pulled out the small pink fluffy bunny and brought it to his master. Voldemort became a little misty eyed.
"How did you know that… that I always wanted one. Thank you! " He let out trying to keep back tears. He got up and hugged Draco. He suddenly realized his display of affection and dropped Draco. "Well… you will be well rewarded for your deeds."
**Later at Dumbledore's office. **
" What were you thinking you little prat?!" Let the grown ups handle these things!!! **cough** Sorry… what I am trying to say is that there are better ways of handling things like that. I'm sorry but you'll have to be taken away by the dementors." Dumbledore clapped his hands and two dementors came and took Ron away. Dumbledore sat there looking down at his hands folded neatly in his lap. Suddenly there was a knocking on the door. "Come in."
"Oh sir… I heard you wanted to see me." Snape poked his head in.
"Oh yes. This is about you're "activities" with a certain slytherian girl." Snape sat down across from the headmaster.
"Sir I can explain…"
"No need. You can continue it."
"Sir…" Snape looked surprised at the answer that he received.
"You know what they say… without chaos there can be no order. And we have had a little too much order around here." Dumbledore got up and walked to the door.
"Thank you sir! Hed… I mean the girl shall be very pleased." Snape said as he got out of his chair and went over the Dumbledore.
"Come walk with me out in the field. Helps clear the mind. This reminds me of the time I accidentally ate a puke flavored jelly bean." He and Snape exited.
** Later at Ron's cell. **
Ron sat there talking to the dementor through the bars.
"And THAT'S why I bought the Muggle radio for 652 Galleons and 62 cents." Ron tried to explain. The dementor nodded.
THE END