Author's Note: Okay this idea came to me while I wrote an atrocious fanfic. I trashed the fanfic but kept this idea. It's a character study on Miles and it mentions his father, Dr. Chang, a lot. Anyways, this is just my view on when Miles sees Dr. Chang and how it effects his mind. Read and review. Enjoy!
Miles realized that Dr. Chang was his father just a few weeks after they moved in Dharmaville. He was standing in line at the cafeteria and his own mother, albeit she was younger, got in line behind him. After Miles got his lunch and went to sit with LaFleur, he watched his mother walk to a table where Dr. Chang was sitting. The whole time Miles was eating, he was half listening to Jim talk about Juliet. LaFleur had been talking about Juliet a lot and Miles guessed that they were going to shack up eventually. Miles nodded at Jim as he watched his mother with the father he never knew.
Miles noticed that she looked extremely happy. And he guessed that he was. He knew that it was 1974 and Miles was born in 1974. He was just a little newborn now and they were a real family. Miles guessed that everything between his mother and father was fine, that is, until his father died.
At least, that's what his mother told him. She told Miles that his father died when he was baby, but it looked like Dr. Chang was in perfect health. Miles figured that his mother lied about his father dying, but he didn't understand why she lied in the first place. He wanted to know why she had lied, but he couldn't go up to her now. What the hell would he say?
"Hello, I'm your son from the future and I wanted to know why you lied to me, Mom. You said that Dad died when I was a baby. He is sitting in front of you right now, is he not? And he looks like he is in perfect health. So why the hell did you lie to me?"
Miles shook the dialogue out of his mind. There was no way he would say that. It would blow the cover that LaFleur had worked so hard to build for all of them. He would fuck everything up in just five sentences.
"Hey, Bruce Lee. Earth to Bruce," James said, waving his hand in front of Miles face. "Ya listenin' to me? Did ya hear me when I asked if you wanted to come over to have dinner with me and Blondie?"
Miles blinked and shook his head. He looked at LaFleur, still thinking of what he would have said to his mom at the moment. "Huh? Dinner at your place with you and Juliet? Sure, man. What time do you want me over tonight?" he asked.
"Just come over when you get off work. What the hell is wrong with ya, Bruce? You're starin' off into space, looking at the psycho doctor and his wife. What the hell are you thinkin'?" James asked, curiously.
Miles looked around their table to make sure nobody was listening. He was really paranoid about talking about it in public because he didn't want to ruin their cover; he couldn't stand being on Jim's bad side. "Dr. Chang is my father. His wife is my mother. She told me that my dad died when I was a baby. But Christ, Jim, look at him. He's in perfect health and I'm a baby right now. I'm a newborn right now, actually. That man is my father and my mother lied to me. He didn't die when I was young," Miles quickly whispered.
James glanced over at Dr. Chang and his wife and then whistled low. "Damn, Bruce. So you're tellin' me a lil' you is on this island right now? And that the psycho is your daddy?" he said.
Miles nodded. "And that my mother lied to me, yes," he added, glancing at his parents once more. Then he looked at Jim. "What the hell should I do?"
"Try to get to know the doc. You can't let it slip that we are from the future. You got that. If you let it slip, Bruce, I will murder you. I've worked way to hard to just have you screw it up by trying to get to know your daddy," James hissed, glaring at Miles.
"Don't worry, man. I won't mess everything up. I don't want to get killed by these people or you. My lips are sealed about who we are. I swear," Miles rushed.
Jams nodded and then stood up. "See you down at the monitors, Bruce," he said, carrying his tray over to the washing station and then heading outside.
Miles slowly finished his lunch, watching his parents while he did so. After he finished eating he also went to take his tray back, but his thoughts weren't on his work or on the dinner party at LaFleur's tonight. He continuously thought of his father and how his mother lied to him.
He wanted to know why she lied to him. Was she trying to protect his father? If she was trying to protect him, what the hell was she protecting him from? Maybe, he thought, maybe there were people in the real world that were convinced that he was alive. Maybe they wanted to kill him for some reason. So they were looking for him. And dear old Mom lied and said that he was dead. Maybe that's why. To protect him and to help keep him alive on this island.
Over the next few weeks, Miles tried to get to know his father without telling Dr. Chang that he was his son; his newborn son, nonetheless. But Miles rarely saw his father and every time he did see his dad, it was strictly business. Usually Miles drove his father from one part of the island to another. His father was filming the Orientation films most of the time when he needed to be driven somewhere, so the whole ride there he was mostly reciting his lines.
With the little time that he got with his biological father, Miles tried to get the most information out of him. He tried to figure out how much his father loved his mother and what the baby Miles was learning to do. By talking with his father and not revealing that he was the adult of the little newborn that was living with Dr. Chang, Miles learned when he first smiled and what his first words were. Miles learned about all the stories that his father read to him and how much his father was actually in his life when he was a baby. That didn't calm the burning question of why Dr. Chang left his wife and Miles.
Miles wanted to ask the question so badly but he never could because Dr. Chang was still with Miles. If he asked why he left when he hadn't yet done so, Dr. Chang would learn that Miles was from the future and it would blow their cover.
Even though Miles got to learn about his father and learn how similar he was to his father, Miles never could have the father son relationship that was lacking in his life. Every time Miles thought that, a little piece of him dies inside. He knew that sounded extreme, but what he really wanted most of his life was a father and his mother never dated anybody. So he never had a man that he could play catch with, even though he hated sports. He never got to do anything with his father. And now that he was here on this island with his father, he wanted to do all the kiddie things with his dad. But Miles couldn't because it would blow their cover and LaFleur would kill him.
As much as it killed Miles that he couldn't have a father son relationship with his biological father, he hid the fact that it did hurt him. He pretended to be the funny guy, taking Hurley's spot as the comedian. He made James and Juliet laugh at mostly everything he said. He pretended to be happy even though his father issued gnawed at his heart, breaking it into small pieces everyday.
Miles pretended to be happy so James didn't call him a little girl and make fun of him for it. He pretended to be happy because maybe, if he pretended long enough, he would be able to convince himself along with James and Juliet that he was happy. Miles was determined to convince himself that he was happy no matter what it took. Miles didn't want to worry about his daddy issues anymore. He needed to be happy.