An: mannnnn…. I really need to listen to more cheerful music -.- Well this was inspired my Marilyn Manson's song Suicide Is Painless. When reading my songfic's ALWAYS take on the song, I write with the song playing and its better when the song is playing along, also, the part how is written like this is parts of the song I thought fitted in well. And is someone is offended or is getting sad because they knew someone who has taken their own life, then I'm sorry, I did not mean to make you angry or sad.
Suicide Is Painless.
Through early morning fog I see
Steve woke up on his bed. He looked around in his room, it was four white walls with pictures of his friends and some of his family. The floor was messy with clothes thrown on it and picture albums. There was an open dresser in the corner to the left of him and on the other side of the dresser where a desk with some homework he were supposed to have done for today.
Steve walked to the window and looked outside, it was foggy outside and no one was in the streets of Raccoon city. For Steve it was an uncomfortable silence, it let his thoughts run in his mind, and after what had happened last week it wasn't something that should happen.
Steve felt a tear roll down his cheek '' So there were some left. '' he said in a voice with no emotion, as if he didn't care about anything or anyone at all.
Last week, his mom, dad and little sister where on a plane to Raccoon city to visit him, but one of the engines stopped, making the airplane crash.
After that, his friends and Claire had been with him and comforted him. But they did little help healing his heart, the big part of it that was ripped out of him when he got the news would take weeks or even moths to heal.
Visions of the things to be
Steve smirked '' Maybe there is one, but she is too good for me, I will ruin her life, her future and her dreams. Claire, I won't do that to you. ''
All this week he had been in the way for his friends living there life's, he was in the way.
Steve sat down on his bed and let more tears flow from his eyes, but there was no sobs. He felt like a zombie walking on earth, with no feelings at all. The only thing he could do was walking, talking, and letting tears flow from his eyes.
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
Steve walked to the desk and grabbed his homework and placed them in his backpack. He walked into his small kitchen and grabbed the bread and a knife. He started cutting the bread into slices. He got some butter and cheese from the fridge and gets them on his bread and eats it slowly.
He turned around and saw the knife lying there, right where he laid it after cutting the bread.
And I can take or leave it if I please
It was calling him, taunting him by using the lights in the room to reflect into his eyes by its bright steel.
'' Steve, help your friends, help yourself! End it now, make it easier for them and Claire in the future. '' a voice in his head said, hissing the s.
He walked up to the knife and picked it up. '' No there must be another way. ''
'' No there isn't, Steve, help them… help Claire ''
Steve walked into his room and sat on the bed, trying the best to win over the voice in his head. '' I can't just leave them. ''
'' You must, you are in the way of their fun, their romances and their family. Don't you think Claire would rather spend time with her mom and dad instead of watching over you? End it, make them happier. ''
Steve placed the knife on his skin but caught the sight of one little piece of paper and a pen. He took the pen and wrote down some words expressing himself and explaining and got out of his room and hanged it on the door, closing it before going into the room again.
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
He took the knife on his right wrist, let a single tear fall before cutting. Making blood come on the white walls and the white bed sheets.
Claire was running to Steve's apartment, she hadn't seen him in the first two lessons and she was worried.
'' Something is wrong, I don't know why I know it but I only do. ''
She found his apartment building and continued up the stairs. She knocked on Steve's door '' Steve? Are you in there? I didn't see you in school so I came to see if you where okay. ''
There was no respond so she knocked even harder '' Hello? Steve please answer me! ''
There yet again no response, she tried opening the door but it was locked. She rammed her body against the door but to no use. She thought and remembered. She could use the fire escape to get into his apartment.
Claire ran down the stairs and around the building, she found the fire escape and ran up to Steve's apartment level. She got to the small window leading to Steve's kitchen.
'' For the love of god be open! ''
She pushed it and it slid open. She entered the apartment and saw that there was a plate on the kitchen table.
'' At least he is eating again '' she smiled and continued looking in the apartment.
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin,
Claire walked to Steve's bedroom door and noticed a note hanging there. She took it and stared to read out loud.
Dear who ever found this.
I'm sorry, I were a bother to my friends and to the once who cared about me, I didn't want to be a bother anymore.
'' What is he talking about? ''
Ever since my parents died in the plane accident a week ago, I have felt like a bother and like a zombie. I did only care to fake a smile when you friends where around, but when I was alone, I felt like a zombie. I couldn't stand it anymore.
But I hope these words will comfort you: suicide is painless.
Claire's eyes widen at the last words '' He can't have! ''
She opened the door and gasped, she found Steve's body on the floor. ''Steve '' she murmured
Her eyes began to water and she walked to his body and fell to her knees right in front of his head '' Steve '' she murmured sadly again. Taking her fingers on his head.
'' Suicide is not painless for you, but it is for the people you leave behind you. ''
An: this looks a lot like Room 409 and I'm sorry for that, but I really find this one better, it has more emotion to it ( if you ask me ).
Anyway's R&R :D