Disclaimer: Most of the time I don't even own Swedish Fish, let alone the characters from Harry Potter. Don't be silly.
It's the late shift down at the Galaxy Movie Theatre, and the teenager working there just wants to get home to bed. He has a history essay due tomorrow, and he is completely sick of rude customers at the concession stand. The sticky aromas of stale popcorn and sweet soft drinks fills the air around him.
He is tired.
In walks a moviegoer. Like most moviegoers, she looks impatient at the lines up to the concession stand. She clutches a green ticket stub.
Unlike most moviegoers, she is Bellatrix Lestrange.
The exhausted teenager observes the insane-looking woman with the crooked stick of wood, clutching it as though it were a magic wand or something. She's a sketchy-looking individual, her dress looking like she got attacked in the parking lot by knife-wielding chimney sweeps, and her hair so large and curly that he doubted even their largest popcorn bucket would fit over it.
He senses that she will be trouble. Perhaps it was his intuition that tells him this, or perhaps just the fact that she is scratching her head absentmindedly with a silver dagger while murmuring angry words under her breath that sound something like, filthy muggle, though such a word doesn't even exist, of course.
"Hello ma'am, what can I get for you?"
She looks at him as though he is the most disgusting thing she has seen in her entire life, possibly the past lifetimes as well.
"I would like some of the candy you muggles call Swedish Fish." she says slowly.
"I'm sorry, we don't carry Swedish Fish." the cashier says apologetically.
There was dead silence for a second, the kind that makes a person want to pee their pants in fear (which the teenage cashier does not do, thank heavens), and Bellatrix stares nearly unblinkingly at him.
"Ha ha ha ha... No, you have Swedish Fish."
"No, actually we don't..."
"I would sell my soul for some Swedish Fish right now, boy."
The cashier's impatience is getting the better of him. "We don't have Swedish Fish, ma'am." he says, a little snappishly.
"PLEASE!" the wild-haired woman in front of him suddenly shrieks, pounding her fists on the glass case of candy that was the counter. The Reece's Pieces, Sweet Tarts, and Red Vines all jump (but of course the Red Vines jump highest).
The teenage boy reels back in terror. "Ma'am, please calm down!" he pleads.
Bellatrix proceeds to climb upon the counter, laying on her stomach. She grabs hold of the edge of the case, and pulls herself forward an inch from the poor lad's face. Then she pulls herself backwards and forwards, looking a little like a young actress by the name of Lauren Lopez.
"I seriously need my Swedish Fish...!" she says slowly.
"Oh god, please get down from there."
She falls with a crash to the floor, causing the girl in line behind her to release a little scream. "I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM!"
"You're holding up the line, lady!" grumbles a man behind the girl.
She raises herself up from the floor, with a look of pure battiness. "Can I at least have a drink...?" she asked in a tone that she clearly thought was seductive.
The teenager is relieved. Swedish Fish might be absent, but drinks they have. "Absolutely. What'll it be?"
"SWEEEEEDDDDIIIIISSSHHHH FFFIIIIIISSSSHHHHH!"
"WE DO NOT HAVE SWEDISH FISH HERE!" shouts the cashier, voice cracking.
Without warning, Bellatrix composes herself. Her rapid return to normalcy is very unnerving to the cashier. He stares at her, waiting for her to speak yet dreading it.
"That's ok, muggle..." she murmurs, and though her tone is peaceful he cannot help but think that 'muggle' sounds sort of derogatory. "I have some Swedish Fish here in my purse. See my purse? Isn't it pretty? It's blue. I made sure to have a blue one so the fishies would think it was water."
The teenage cashier is officially terrified now.
Bellatrix is indeed clutching a blue purse, and she begins to fondly trickle the fish-shaped candies between her fingers, letting them fall back into her bag.
"Look at them swim..." she notices his dumbfounded face. "I only wanted to buy some so I'd have more, you know. I needed more. I... I always need more. Always! I always need more! IT'S NEVER ENOUGH! NEEEVVVVEEEERRRRRR!"
"Oh my god."
Bellatrix continues conversationally. "My friends are bringing cheese, but I want Swedish Fish, not cheese! Why? WHY DO THEY BRING THE WRONG FOOD!"
In the corner of his wide and terrified eye, the cashier notices even more sketchy looking people entering the theatre. A man with a pimp cane and seriously straight blonde hair, badly hiding a huge round of cheese under his shirt. A short man with beady eyes and a hand that's so shiny it could be made of silver is smuggling in string cheese in his sleeves. And to top it all off, a man who is missing hair, skin pigment, and a nose is innocently dragging along an entire shopping cart full of cheese, trying to hide the cart under a large cape. The motley crew waves to Bellatrix.
"My movie is starting now," she says in a snarl to the poor teenager. "I have to go, I can't believe I let you slow me up this long! I HATE YOU!"
Bellatrix dashes away, leaving the cashier with a backed-up line full of angry customers. He stares after her.
Four dollars an hour is not enough pay for this crap.