This came to me as I was reading a story called "The Bet"

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but if I did, Jasper would come for me (Double meaning). *smirks*

BPOV

I sat in the living room, waiting for everyone to get back from hunting. I didn't want to go and had opted to stay behind. I guess it had something to do with last time I went.

*Flashback*

I stood over a limp body, dry sobbing into my hands. It had been too late. I was tracking a small herd of deer when the wind changed direction. This time, Edward wasn't here to stop me. The man who was after the same herd I was had been close…too close. I had attacked him without warning. His blood running down my throat as the life slowly left his now limp form.

I ran back to the house. Before I could make it inside, I fell to my knees and started to dry sob again. Luckily, everyone was in Denali for the weekend, well…almost everyone.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice rang out through my sobs, alarmed.

"He…*sob* he didn't *sob*…I couldn't *sob* stop myself *sob* f-from *sob*…!"

I felt his arms snake around my waist and pull me into a brotherly hug.

"Bells, Darlin', you got to calm down. Now, tell me what happened." He whispered quietly in my ear while I was still sobbing.

"I killed him." I stated quietly, shocked at how I could have.

"Oh, and who is 'him'?"

"A…a man who w-was out hunting, that's who."

His arms tightened around my waist and pulled me to his chest where I sobbed even harder than before. I heard the shuffling of feet and saw Emmett out of the corner of my now ruby red eyes.

"I guess you win, Jazz."

*End Flashback*

Now, I was going to have to live with the consequences.

I sat on the couch, contemplating my slip when I heard footsteps. They were back. I sighed and went to meet them at the door. I felt like I had disappointed them, like I wasn't worthy of their love. I wasn't blind, and I saw the pity, disappointment-and disgust, in Rosalie's case-in their eyes. Edward couldn't look at me without pity anymore, and I hated it.

When they all filed in, there was worry clouding everyone's faces, especially Alice's.

"What happened?" I asked as they sat down.

Alice answered me. "Me and Jazzy were separated from the others and were hunting. A woman hiking…" That was all she had to say. I immediately understood.

"Where is he?"

They all looked to the floor.

"He said he didn't want to face our pity, disgust and disappointment in him." Rosalie spat out, like she was chewing something nasty.

"I'm going to find him. Pack up, guys. We needed to move anyways." I said, while pointing to my still red eyes.

As I was running, I found his trail, and followed it to a small stream. The same one I went to just before my slip up yesterday.

"Jasper" I said while sitting next to him.

He barely looked at me, and then looked away.

"You have nothing to hide, Jazz." I said while putting my arm around his shoulders.

He just looked at me again, but his questioning gaze lingered. His eyes, the same ruby red as mine, were glistening with un-shed tears.

"We both know it was a mistake; life didn't come with an instruction manual, after all." He shot me a grimace at my poor excuse of humor. I looked into the water, thinking back on how I felt yesterday. I let the disappointment in myself linger, along with the sadness, anger, and sorrow.

"That is how you feel, isn't it?"

He just nodded his approval and looked at me.

For the first time since yesterday, I heard my older brother's voice.

"How are you not disgusted with me? How do you not pity me, disappointed in me?"

I laughed, humorlessly.

"Because I know how it feels to be stared at in pity, disappointment and disgust. Plus, I know what a human's blood can do to us. Edward thinks he understands, but he knows nothing. When he was in his 'rebellious' phase, he killed the killers. We, we are the monsters that kill innocent people." I let out a sob, for our struggle and pain.

"Carlisle doesn't understand. For one so old, wise and knowing, he doesn't know what it's like to have the richest of heavens slide into your mouth and down your throat. Esme, she just hopes her children do what is the best. Emmett, he's a teddy-bear, but he knows, and he pities you, and me, because he's been through the same thing, twice, and he knows how it feels to be looked at like that. Rosalie is being a callous bitch who doesn't know crock-shit. Then, there's Alice. I know what it feels like, that you're not good enough, not pure enough to be with them. But, like you told me, you are worth it. I know what you are feeling, for once." He smiled when I got done with my little speech and hugged me. I smiled and hugged him back, happy that I could help him see reality.

"Thank you, Bella." I looked in his eyes and smiled when I remembered they matched mine.

"Come on, let's get back and help them pack up. We were the cause of the move, so we might as well help." He chuckled and raced after me through the trees and back to the house.

The End

Tell me how you liked it in a Review! I started this a few months ago, but forgot to post it. I just now stumbled upon it. I was going to end it with the flashback, but decided that wasn't good enough for me.

~Katii~

Peace,
Love,
Death.