Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Universal. I also in no way own any part of The Mummy (excluding The Mummy Returns on video…yes, video). What a clear signs of this? Well, Rick and Arteth never made out. Arteth and Jonathan never made out. Arteth and Imhotep never made out. Rick and Imhotep never made out. Jonathan and Imhotep never made out. Rick and Jonathan never made out. In fact, there was no guys making out at all. –sigh- what a waste…

PLEASE NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY (because I don't write Ancient Egyptian) THAT ANYTHING SAID IN ANCIENT EGYPTIAN WILL BE WRITTEN IN ITALICS! Other than that, I think its pretty easy to understand.

Prologue:

There came a time in life when you just had to admit that good fortune wasn't on your side. An excellent time to come to this decision was seeing an ancient evil high priest- who by all rights was supposed to be very dead by now- standing on the outskirts of Cairo, Egypt, after having seen him being sucked down into hell for the second time three years ago. Yes, that was the perfect time to admit that to yourself. And the perfect time to experience a minor panic attack.

Jonathan couldn't believe it. He wasn't supposed to see things like this now- no, he was just suppose to pick up some obscure artifact for Evie from some obscure Egyptian museum, and then he was suppose to go back to England and continue on in life the way the liked- that is to say without the threat of eternal darkness coupled with a sudden painful death. Maybe if he rubbed his eyes hard enough they would become so blurry that he could convince himself that he had just been seeing things. Or better yet he could just forget about it without causing himself to go blind.

Surely no one could expect him to do anything about Imhotep. Honestly, who would expect him to stand up to him? He could call Rick and Evie, and they would take care of it. Yes, it was their problem. If the mummy was alive again, then surely they had something to with it. It had nothing to do with him. He would call them and then everything would be back to normal.

He leaned back into the seat of the car and breathed a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat off his brow. That had been a tense moment. But everything was good now. He just had to go get that blasted artifact because he could just hear Evie refusing to come if he didn't get it. His sister was such a difficult person.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Here you go," the curator of the museum said in heavily accented English. He reminded Jonathan horribly of the former curator of the British museum, right down to the enormous robes that seemed to be somewhat of a bad idea in the Egyptian heat. "The artifact."

"Thank you," Jonathan said, looking down at what had been placed in his hand. He really hoped it wasn't what he thought it was. Surely Evie hadn't sent him for a mummified hand clutching a rusty dagger. Surely not.

Trying his best to repress a shudder he quickly wrapped it up and stuck it into the box offered to him. With a quick nod to the curator, who bowed in return, he all but dashed out the small museum. His Egyptian might be all but non-existent, but he was fairly certain that the museum was calling itself House of Dead and Decay, which he personally felt was a little bit more than creepy.

The cab driver was waiting patiently for him outside, standing in front of the cab in the sweltering heat. Jonathan groaned. That meant that the car was even hotter. Bloody brilliant.

"Next time you can come get the damn artifact yourself," he said under his breath. So what if they kicked him out? He could get his own apartment. And a job…it was a short leash they held him on.

"To the hotel?" the driver inquired. Jonathan nodded. Ah, the hotel. What a lovely place. Fans, food, and women. It was possibly the best place in all of Cairo.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

He paid the cab driver, who drove away with a ridiculously happy look on his face that made Jonathan worry that he might have seriously over-paid the driver. He didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to use pounds, he understood those! So, with a sinking feeling in his stomach (he was going to get yelled at if he had just blown a small fortune on the cab) he trudged back into the hotel.

It was almost completely empty. All the girls –er, people- were gone. The bar tender was no where to be seen, and the elevator now had an out of order sign handing on it.

"What lousy service," Jonathan grumbled, completely oblivious to the fact that something was clearly wrong, as he started up the stairs.

The package weighed more than you would have thought. Jonathan was breathing heavily by the second flight of stairs. He might have been a little out of shape, but this was definitely the last time he requested a room on the highest floor available.

Up four more flights of stairs and he was staggering, clutching with one hand onto the package and the other gripping the railing, his knuckles white as he tried to hold himself up. He collapsed on the landing and lay there for a couple moments, thanking the heavens that he only had to walk to the first door on the left and then no more walking was required of him.

He sucked in a huge breath and forced himself up. The door was right there…and it was slightly open.

"Who's in there?" he demanded as he pushed the door open. "You had better be the cleaning staff, or I warn you I am trained in several different forms of martial arts and-"

Imhotep looked him straight in the eye, unimpressed.

"Oh dear," Jonathan whispered faintly. Well this was it. Goodbye world, he thought bleakly. This was how he was going to die.

But the mummy made no move toward him.

"Why am I here?" Imhotep asked.

"Er, I don't really speak ancient Egyptian," Jonathan confessed. Imhotep took a step closer. Jonathan flinched and held the package a little tighter.

"Why am I here?" Imhotep repeated. "Why?"

Author Notes: Well, this is and Imhotep/Jonathan fic- the first I believe on (yay for me) if I'm not, then I apologize to whoever was. But I'm pretty sure I am. I can't say I expect many reviews on this, its kind of an odd couple, and the Mummy doesn't seem to be a terribly popular kind of fanfiction…I only found 7 slash fics when I searched- 7! I was devastated…so I wrote my own. That's the brilliant thing about snow days, they give you time to re-watch movies, and write fanfics…-grins- so it's all good Remo

Oh, and if you don't review, I will track you down with the Millennium Ring and then use the Millennium Rod on you, so you'll end up reviewing anyway (pardon the Yu-Gi-Oh reference) so you might as well save me the trouble and review before I'm forced to do that.

Little bunny foo foo walking through the field….or was it garden? I think it was field….oh no wait, he was hopping! Yes, little bunny foo foo was hopping! And another of the worlds mysteries is solved.