Chapter 1: Back to Reality

Q was on a planet. It was a nice planet. It had lots of birds. And flowers. And a large crater where the TARDIS had crash-landed on Wesley a few months back, relative to the planet's timeline. That had somehow remained, despite the universal retcon that Picard had enacted in order to fix the mess that the Continuum had created. Go figure.

Jean Louise was also on a planet. It was the same planet. Jean Lousie liked the birds. And flowers. And the fact that she was happy made Q happy. After all, Jean Louise took wonderfully after her father, hence her name.

The two Q were sitting on a picnic blanket made out of the fabric of space time and eating cookies that were really the asteroids from the waiting room ceiling for boarding Space Mountain at Disney World and were drinking tea and it was earl gray tea and it was hot. Then an explosion!

"What was that, mother?" Jean Louise asked, looking worriedly at Q.

"I don't know," Q said, which was strange, because he knew everything, "For some reason, I feel like I'm forgetting something important."

Then, an evil army came out from the woods!

"What?!" Q exclaimed, "How are you all still here? I thought you were part of the nonsense universe!"

"Well you thought wrong," said the leader of the evil army, who had red hair and lots of piercings, which was kind of hot but he was also kind of old and I actually don't like him that much and he's kind of a butt nozzle anyway, "I am a god, and my will cannot be undone. My armies and I will qoncuer the universe!"

"Don't you mean 'conquer'?"

"My word is final! Any mortal can dream of conquering, but my dreams are beyond pronunciation. I am god!"

Q raised an eyebrow.

"You realize how overdone this sort of plot is, right?"

"You underestimate my plans. I am done talking with you. Now, you shall know pain!" The evil army leader with lots of piercings and red hair raised his hand with his palm out at Q and looked at him menacingly, but Q was ready to counter!

"Not so fast!" he yelled, pulling out a PokeBall and sending out Mewtwo. Q then drew upon the power of a bunch of planets and exploded them, O-Mega evolving Mewtwo into… Frieza!

"Frieza, use Death Ball attack to blow him up!" Q commanded. Frieza turned around and gave Q a look, but he summoned a Death Ball attack and threw it at the red head guy with piercings. But the man side-stepped the attack without blinking! And the attack hit the ground! And the planet began to explode!

"Oops, I missed," Frieza said apathetically, before flying away from the planet because he was so done with this nonsense and now that Q had released him from Hell, he really had nothing better to do than to go rebuild his empire and possibly kill Goku.

"Well," Q looked down at the giant hole in the planet.

"Now you see why you truly cannot defeat me?"

"The planet is going to explode. Unless you can breathe in space, I'd say that you're pretty much finished."

"I am god!" the man muttered in response, before he turned to his army and said, "We're done here," and the group began to retreat.

Q shrugged and went back over to Jean Louise.

"Come on, we're getting out of here."

"But mother, what about the planet?" Jean Louise looked on with concern, "Shouldn't we do something about this?"

"I'll fix it later. It needs to blow up right now."

Jean Louise looked sad. While she was powerful enough to resurrect the dead and rebuild entire galaxies on her own, she didn't like it when things died; she was too responsible, just like her father.

So Q and Jean Louise Q-flickered away from the planet just as it exploded, obliterating everything and killing all the pigeons.

-

"Leader-sama, what should we do now?" said a figure that was in shadow for dramatic effect and also because I don't feel like introducing them yet.

"I will meet with the other Organization XIII leaders. They will be made aware that the Q know of our existence. Other than that, no action needs to be taken. Those two are nuisances at worst. We will continue with our plans as soon as we relocate to the next planet on our emergency relocation list."

"This wasn't included in this month's travel budget," another figure complained, "We're going to have to make up the deficit somehow."

"You have my permission to make it up by selling blood plasma," the piercing dude said to the figure, who nodded and grabbed the collar of the guy next to him, dragging him off to bleed him out a few times.

Just then, the ship's communicator rang. The leader guy walked over to the monitor and answered the call.

"Ah, Pain," the person on the screen smirked, his red monocle gleaming evilly, "I see you've completed the next phase of the plan."

"Frieza has been resurrected," Pain affirmed, "I can only hope that you've fulfilled your part of the mission as well?"

"You mean your faction's 'natural enemy'? Of course!" the man on the screen stepped aside, revealing a straw-hat-wearing figure slumped in the background, "It wasn't difficult to incapacitate him. We just had some hellhounds breathe sulfur-infused fire at him until his cells got cross-linked and his body stiffened. You shouldn't be getting any trouble from him."

"Good."

The green-haired smirky man moved back onto the screen. "I'll have my faction move on to the next operation. I suppose that's all, unless you have anything to report?"

"No."

A frown. "You still haven't located that troublesome boy, then?"

"Are you genuinely afraid of that child? What harm could he possibly do to our plans?"

"We have an agreement. You know that," the monacle-man practically snarled, "Partnered Organization leaders are supposed to eliminate one another's inherent enemies. I've started on your list of targets. Unless you want me to start expecting treachery from you, you should begin to do the same." He narrowed his eye. "Do you intend to make an enemy of me, Pain? Of the rest of the Organization?"

"Certainly not."

"See that you don't," and the screen went black.

"Idiot," Pain scoffed.

-

"Lord Harmonia, we are approaching our next destination."

"Excellent. Is the capture array ready?" Ghetsis Harmonia asked, looking down at the grunt who had some to give the report.

"Yes sir."

"Good. Tell the others to get ready. I want this done quickly."

The grunt grunted and left the room. Ghetsis turned back to the blank screen and began a lengthy monolog.

"Once my faction of the Organization manages to harness the power of the sun, we will be able to threaten entire systems with icy destruction unless they submit to our demands. They will recognize me as their lord at last. After all this time, all this planning, at last they will recognize my right to power, my perfection! At last, the world shall be mine!"