Tsukimi Uzumaki- Konoha's Mad Sage

by AuroraPax

The story of a girl who died without unfulfilled reborn into the world of Naruto! Reincarnated as Narutos twin sister, Tsukimi Uzumaki has her own demons to battle as she tries to not only keep her sanity, but keep her broken family of two from being consumed by the ninja worlds cruelty. NarutoXHeram OCXOC bashing of characters. stronger main characters. Neji will never find love.

1. Chapter 1

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS! I'm suffering serious writer's block atm so I decided it's time for NARUTO! Im not really sure where I'm going to take this story, it could be a big project or it might just be a small short story while I figure things out for 'the gaming huntress'. That's the fun of writing though I suppose!

WARNING! Mature content ahead. Graphic depictions of violence and extreme abuse mentioned. If you can't handle that, a warning will be placed before the scene begins, and I recommend you skip it, or stop reading now. Leaving because you aren't used to dark themes dose not make you any less of a person.

Dose make you a little bitch though. (DMC REFERANCE *INSAIN LAUGHTER*)

Now without any further ado, LET THE SHOW BEGIN!

Chapter 1: Down The Rabbit Hole And Straight Into Hell

It was a normal day. The sun had just retreated beneath the horizon and I was on my way home from a late class. It was just like any other day.

But it wasn't.

I Should not have been on my phone while crossing the street.

I Should have seen the car coming around the corner

I Should have jumped to the sidewalk on my right, instead of into the harbor on my left like I did.

I Should have let go of my bag, instead of allowing it to drag me under

But I Didn't

And now I was. . .

Drifting

I could not feel anything, or see, or hear. It was like the universe had vanished and all that was left was my consciousness. My-y body, what did it f-feel like, to have a body?

How long, have i?

Suddenly a bright light appeared before me, and I was thrust into it with no warning.

I took me a few minutes to regain my senses, or at least if FELT like minutes, might have been seconds or even hours considering how disoriented I was. When I finally could see again, I noticed two major things. One was that although I had a body, it was DEFFINETLY not mine, Or human for that matter. From what I could tell, I had eyes and ears and a mouth. Other than that, I was literally just a pure white outline of a human. I could see through myself, and based on the reflection showing in the VERY large polished metal desk in front of me I had no defining features whatsoever. The other very important thing of note I should mention is the THING sitting at the desk across from me. The 'creature' had a human torso and 16 very hairy arms, three heads, one was a geko, one was an ox, and the other looked like an otter, but I couldn't really tell because that one had a cowboy hat obscuring my view of it.

Oh, did I forget to mention it was like, 15 feet tall? Because HOLY SHIET I don't think I've ever seen anything so simultaneously awesome AND terrifying.

And then just to top it all off, the ox head, in a DEEP Scottish accent, began to speak. "AH welcome. Ell me lass ya got any clue as to the fuck gin on?"

". . .I died?"

The ox gave a hearty laugh, shaking the pure white walls of the room we found ourselves in. the being went to speak again, but this time it was the geko who spoke. And it sounded exactly like-

The fucking Geiko mascot.

"Now I'm sure you've got questions, but let me start off by answering some of the most basic ones for you ok? First, yes there is a god. In fact, there are twelve, but you don't need the details on them at the moment. Second, no I'm not one of them. I believe I am the equivalent to what the Catholics call angels?" geko stopped, and the third head, which now that I got a better look was actually a squirrel, began to speak in a heavy Texas accent. "Thrid, yall died with unfinished business, so we gon an decided ta reincarnate you so ya could fulfill yer life goal of-" it stopped for a moment, pulling out a big stack of papers and squinting at something written on the top page. "doin somtin worth being remembered fer? At's pretty basic if-in ya ask me, but yall do you. Also keep in mind over 500 BILLION souls come threw er every second, so if ya got questions keep em quick fer everyones sake?"

Thinking on it, there were MILLIONS of questions I wanted to ask, but since this person appeared to have a fairly loaded work schedule, I managed to find the three most important ones.

"multiverse theory, is that real or no?"

The ox took control again, its voice shaking me to my nonexistent bones. "oh ya, there's just about a universe fer EVERYTHING, makes my job a heap of a mess now don it? And befer ya ask lass, ya, were sendin ya tush ta a different world, shake tings up abit ya know?"

Ok, that left me with just one then. "do I get to choose where im going or is it random?"

And que Geiko mascot. "well you cant choose, the dimensions would be completely skewed population wise if we allowed that, but LUCKY for you a new branch dimension has just opened up in universe A-bx293. You may know it as 'Naruto'? you'll be born in that world on the same date you died in your world, other than that where you are born is up to chance so good luck!" the squirrel then piped up again after the Gekos apparent goodbye. "one last thing fer we sen ya off, ye CAN choose a little 'perk' ta take wit ya, you can look through the list while we prep yer departure."

And thus the 'angel' began waving its 16 hands around as a 'screen' of sorts filled my vision. And when they said I could choose a perk it sounded like some small thing, but these were all AMAZING looking! Just looking at the first few was practically making me salivate!

Child Genius- until you reach the age of 15, learning anything will be 100% easier. Example- Itachi Uchiha

Dragon Soul- your primary element will be immeasurably more potent than a normal shinobi. Example- Tobirama Senju

Civilian- choosing a profession other than a ninja will make you 25% less likely to get wrapped up in trouble. Example- Literally any non-ninja

These were realy cool, but the one that caught my eye was about twenty down the list, right under a weird one that allowed me to have two buttholes for. . . some reason? Anyway the one I knew I would IMMIDETLY choose was right under that one.

Black Sage- instead of taking in the power of the worlds life like a sage, absorb power from the layer between life and death, becoming virtually immortal. Example- Hidan of the Akatsuki

Ohohoh GIMIGIMI-

"oh, you've chosen. Bye then."

"Wait waAAAAAAAAAA!" I was cut of by my own scream as I was suddenly and violently SUCKED down back into the abyss I had drifted in from. Though I should be thankful that I was only in it for a few moments as I continued to fall until I was suddenly very aware of how cold I was. The second was the strange sensation of feeling something crawling inside me, which I'm just going to hope is chakra. I couldn't really hear anything, and my eyes would not respond to my attempts to open them, but I could feel something holding me up, and let me tell you right now that being a baby is NOT something that's fun. I couldn't even really move, I was simply at the mercy of the adults who I HOPE where responsibly watching over-

*BANG*

Holy crap that was definitely an explosion! Everything is muted for me and I heard it clear as day, oh please whatever gods are out there don't let me die again I just came back! Just as soon as the sound went off though I had the WORST feeling of vertigo I had ever experienced. Like free falling but multiplied by 100! What's going on wasn't I just born do these people not know how to handle a ba-

Oh god no.

That angel thing, they told me I would be born on the same date that I died.

I died on October tenth.

Naruto Uzumaki's birthday.

That means, its entirely possible that im-

My thoughts were suddenly cut off as my mind was introduced to a similar sensation as the one crawling under my skin, only is was coming from outside.

AND IT BURNED

Yep. That's kurama. Coming to this realization I did the most logical thing to do in my strange situation, and started screaming.

It was a while before anything changed from the initial chaos. In the short while after my arrival I had been moved around to a few different pairs of hands, gone through what I'm pretty sure is the flying thunder god, had every inch of my being TERRORISED by the mere presence of the nine tails, and now I found myself being held once more, only one problem, it felt like their chest was wet.

Oh that's totally blood. Ew. Just ew. Gonna have nightmares. Definitely going to have nightmares.

After a few more minutes I was laid down on a soft surface and a new presence made itself know. If I had to describe it, it was like you know something's there, but if you focused on it you cant see it. Almost like it was… empty, in a way. Aaand there's the Shinagami. I braced myself, expecting any moment to have the embodiment of fuzziness forced into my gut when the unexpected happened.

In other word's nothing happened.

The presence of the nine tails vanished into thin air, and the feeling of emptiness left with it. The world was quiet after that and I finally gained a hint as to what was happening, as a hand equally as small as mine laid into mine. It was only for a moment, but that was all I needed to gain clarity. I had every reason to believe, based on what I knew and what I felt going on around me, that I was just reincarnated, not as Naruto, but as the blond hero's sibling.

I'm too tired for this shit.

As if on command, my tiny little body gave out, and sleep took me.

The next day: POV Hiruzen Sarutobi

With the death toll of yesterday's disaster, a mass funeral was held. The coffins, some full, some containing what pieces we could find, were all lined up on training ground 82. At the forefront of those morbid boxes were my successor, Minato-kun, who's death left a hole in the hearts of all citizens of the land o fire. His secret wife whom he loved kushina, she always used to brighten up the room in times like this. And my own wife, whose remains were incinerated by the beast's power, had an empty coffin.

I stood there, saddened that so many of our survivors could not be here to mourn the loss of friends and family. But it could not be helped. With so many losses the other four great ninja villages were bound to test us for weakness. Even sand, who we have a treaty with, could very well turn on us if we don't keep up the appearance of unfaltering strength. I adjusted the hat that sat upon my head, the kanji for fire emblazed above my brow. I could not falter now. We may have lost, but the will of fire still burned, and my presence was required. Someone had to care for the village, I just wish that somebody hadn't been me once again. I turned away from the field of body's soon to be buried.

I had work to do after all.

Arriving back in the hokage tower via body flicker, I was greeted with the site of the second biggest problem I had to deal with, other than the massive stacks of paperwork that is.

Two cribs sat in Minatos- I mean MY office. One housed the son of the fourth hokage, little Naruto, who was cursed with the burden of the nine tails. And the other held…

An anomaly.

According to all medical reports Kushina Uzumaki had been pregnant with only one child, yet here lay a girl who's DNA proved she was indeed a SECOND child born to the hidden unity of Konoha's best and brightest two ninja. You would think that the jinchuriki would be the big problem but no, not only was this girl unexpected, she was both chakra hypersensitive AND possessed unnaturally large reserves. The Uzumaki had always possessed large natural chakra reserves, but while her physical chakra was the average Uzumaki infants, this girls Spiritual chakra was well over TRIPLE that amount. She would not suffer any serious issues for this imbalance thankfully, but her growth was bound to be stunted until she built her physical chakra up some.

Another nightmare I had to deal with, there was no way I could keep the boys jinchuriki status secret when it was quite literally pasted on their faces. both twins had three solid whisker shaped marks running across each cheek, and the girls violet eyes had slit pupils to boot. The boy was a clone of his father, while the girl shared most of her features with her mother.

The poor kid's, with the power they possessed they would have no choice of career, they would be ninja. The council would never allow otherwise, not after losing over 20 percent of our jonin last night. I had spent all night convincing them not to kill little naruto, and the entire morning convincing them that Danzo shouldn't have custody of the girl after she so helpfully decided to accidently send out a pulse of chakra while bawling her newborn eyes out.

"Inu." I spoke, earning the full attention of the anbu hidden in the ceiling. "Do you know what- what the parents wanted to name the girl?"

"Yes lord hokage." The boy spoke, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Tsukimi. That's what they wanted to name the child, if it was a girl."

Taking up the pen that had ended up on the floor, I grabbed up the two birth certificates laid on the table before me, Tsukimi Uzumaki Namekaze and Naruto Uzumaki Namekaze. Of course, the Namekaze would be left out of all public files, that's one secret that could not become public knowledge, otherwise the children would be hunted by their parents' enemy's.

Time could only tell the kind of lives these two would live.

I only hope I can help make it happy lives, I'd really rather not have Kushina haunting me for not properly caring for them

And now for one of the hardest things ill ever have to do.

"Inu, grab the children, where going to the orphanage now."

*sigh.*

Kushina-chan is definetly gonna haunt me.

Tsukimi POV- 5 years later

The first few years have been interesting, though they passed by rather quickly. After the initial "landing" I was basically out of it until I reached about three. I had been correct before in that I was indeed born as Naruto's sister, though strangely people spoke English here even thought the writing was kanji. Because of this language came easy for my, but I couldn't even spell my own name yet. Though that was less my inability to learn and more the head of this orphanage being a total bitch. Me and Naruto were confined to our room most or the day, and if we so much as spoke to the other kids we would get in trouble for "corrupting the human children". Because of this I had become Naruto's lifeline, the poor boy clung to me like a leech. Not that I minded. He was the only person I could interact with, and even though he was only five and I had the mental capacity of someone in their 20s, the kid was a riot. When we were three I started teaching him how to speak, because they hadn't even done that for us, and he absorbed the knowledge like a sponge, taking only a month or two to start speaking (albeit very broken) English. We also had no stories or any entertainment, so we made some ourselves. I had collected scrap papers and managed to make some makeshift playing cards, while Naruto had already gotten into his pranking habits.

Honestly, I look away for five minutes and the kid not only sneaks into the matrons office, he somehow to cover her ENTIRE office in olive oil, he also tilted every picture 5 degrees to the left, put tacks on her chair, and carved a butt into the wooden floor with a metal ruler.

That was when he was 4.

I don't know how he managed with his stubby little hands, but on the bright side I was exempt from his pranking.

Besides the not teaching us how to even speak, leaving us locked in a room unattended for HOURS ever since we were potty trained, AND denying us basic communication with our peers, today one of the matrons assistants had mad a LOVELY little comment while bringing us our stale bread and dish water which may, or may not, have actually been used to clean some dishes before being served. Just as she was dropping off the pathetic excuse for rations, Naruto, whom I had been hammering the basics of politeness into for a little over a week now, decided to show his progress by saying "Thank You". Which you may be thinking, 'Why would saying thank you be a problem'? well that's because you have to keep in mind that these people hadn't taught us to speak, so Naruto giving thanks somehow meant the fox, which I had confirmed he had sealed in him due to the constant small stream of chakra leaking out of the seal, was loose from the seal and manipulating BOTH of us.

Which is how me and my blond brother now found ourselves on the steps of the orphanage, our first time outside the building since we were born to my knowledge, with the matron telling us to fuck off.

"sis?" my brother spoke as he pulled on my hand, his own firmly wrapped around mine, as if afraid I would blow away in the wind if he let got. "where we goin?" I had to take a minute. Honestly, I had no knowledge of the village layout, and for that matter I didn't know anyone here other than my brother and the assholes at the orphanage. Wasn't the Hokage supposed to take care of Naruto? Or did that not occur until after he got kicked out? I mean seriously he had a massive fuzzy demon in his gut why had nobody even checked up on us? The second I see that old monkey I'm going to rip him a new one for allowing the orphanage to treat us as badly as they did I mean come ON what were they thinking?

"THAT'S IT!" Naruto jumped ant my outburst, his eyes going wide as I cut into a dead sprint dragging him along. "Naru, were going to beat up the elderly!" several people in the street took on faces of disgust as they herd this, but that was nothing compared to the looks they got when they saw me and my brother. It wasn't anger, or even plain hatred.

It was pure unfiltered WRATH

I realized my error as soon as I saw the first look. I should not have announced our presence. Especially because of the date.

The village was clearly preparing a festival.

The festival of the nine tails defeat.

In the show this is the day where the hatred for Naruto, and now me, was at its highest point, and I had basically just screamed "hear we are come kill the Kubi kids!"

The moment I took in this information I moved from the sprint into a full-on CHARGE. I was using the hokage monument, four faces carved into the mountainside, as a marker. The hokage tower was supposed to be behind it, and once we reached there, I was certain that Sarutobi would keep us safe. I could beat him up late, well probably not but damnit I would try.

"HEY WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING OUT OF THEIR CAGES!"

"SOMBODY LET THE DEMONS LOOSE!"

"HONEY GET THE KIDS INSIDE NOW!"

"AW SHIT CLETUS GRAB MA GUN"

The entire village was calling for our dismemberment, Naruto had turned completely pale as a ghost, and was no longer inquiring as to our destination, choosing instead to just follow me and run for his life. I for one had SEVERAL questions about that last comment. Of course, any questions I had were at the back of my mind now as all the I could really focus on was the horde of villagers currently HUNTING US!

*BAM*

"MEROW!"

"Nice kitty TAKA NO NOT THE FACE"

Ok apparently somebody ACTUALY BROUGHT A GUN but had thankfully missed, clipping the ear of a very pissed of cat, who based on the name I was going to assume was a predecessor of tora.

It had been a solid 3 minutes of this, running, dogging rotten fruit and other such thrown objects, as well as me smashing my bare foot into a post. Oh ya did I mention our only clothes were rags?

Because im pretty sure if we weren't Uzumaki we would both have some serious health issues wearing these all day.

Neither of our bodies were used to running, our Uzumaki genes probably boing the only reason we had managed this long, but finally I could see the tell-tale cylindrical building I remembered from the manga. The tower was finally in site, we had almost made it! "NARU!" I called out, my breath running ragged as both our legs starting to slow from exhaustion. "THAT TOWERS WHERE WE NEED TO GO! LETS GET INSIDE AND ASK FOR HELP! ITS JUST A LITTLE FURTHER!"

And we almost made it. But apparently a chuinin had joined the crowd of sick Basterds chasing us.

Naruto managed to keep going.

I wasn't so lucky.

Only about a block away, I felt something hard impact with my left side, my body went airborne for a few seconds before I found myself smashing threw a rickety wooden door. I would later learn that this was actually the old ninja academy, before it had been moved to the base of hokage tower and had long since been abandoned.

But that wasn't important now.

My entire body was burning, id never been around a lot of people, the overload of new chakra signatures was like a multitude of mosquitos warming my entire body, not to mention the BURNING from where I was kicked. My left arm lay completely useless at my side and I was struggling to breath, I had at least 3 broken ribs, probably a collapsed lung.

And then those sick fucks decided they weren't done, I could here them talking as about twenty people clambered into the room, a ninja putting up a genjutsu to hide the damaged entrance.

But what I herd next nearly made my hart stop.

"hey, if we cant kill the demon, at least we can have some fun with his slut!"

No

NO

Get away

Somebody

ANYBODY!

HELP

Why?

Why wont anybody. . .

Please.

Konoha General- 7 hours later: Hiruzen POV

I had failed.

Minato. His last request, the ONLY thing he ever asked for, was that I keep his legacy safe. That his children could have happy lives.

I had failed.

His son, the boy who looked so much like him, lay on the couch of my office, Hatake and his ninja dogs standing over him with orders to kill anything that came through the door other than me.

The boy was thin as a twig, his eyes were sunken and surrounded with black rings. I should have checked on them personally. I cant believe I had allowed for such mistreatment of the twins under my watch. After the panicked little boy had found his way into the tower he was quickly escorted to my office. After only a brief dialog I knew something was wrong, so I had the person responsible for overseeing them, councilman Natsuki, sent to T&I. it only took minutes for an irate newly dubbed special joinin Anko Matarashi to get everything out of him.

But it was years too late.

Natsuki Kuro. He had lost nothing on the night of the attack. Hadn't know any victims, he hadn't even had any property damage during the rampage. Because of his neutral reaction and the years of service I had entrusted him to monitor the twins progress.

How could I have misjudged him so badly.

The two children were underfed, had not been taught anything past how to use the bathroom and eat what scraps they were thrown, apparently, they hadn't even been taught to speak! From what Naruto says his sister had figured out how by observing their "caretakers" and had taught her brother.

The poor girl, somehow, they had even forgotten to tell her what her own name was, she'd simply had the blond calling her sister their entire lives.

Tsukimi, by far I could not have failed worse than I did with her. We realized soon after siting Naruto down that his red-haired sister was nowhere to be seen. I had deployed ninja to arrest every single person in the crowed that had been chasing the children, but the found no site of her.

It was nearly two hours before the illusion was discovered. Shisui Uchiha had been on his way home from a mission, his sharingan eyes were active so he could see properly while he utilized his uniquely fast body flicker, and he had spotted the discrepancy in the door of the long abandoned old academy building. Being the diligent ninja, he was he chose to hold off on his report to remove the Genjutsu and see what was up.

Im sure from what little he was able to repeat to me, he wishes he hadent.

WARNING* IF YOU ANT HANDLE GRAPHIC CONTENT SKIP UNTILL YOU SEE THE NEXT BOLD MARKER

12 adults. 1 genin, 2 chunin, a jonin, and a handful of civilians stood over the Uzumaki girl. All of the men were in some form of state of undress, and the girl. . .

I could not bring my self to think of it now. The horror that Shisui had described to me, as well as the doctors report I now held outside her intensive care room. Her limbs had been pined to the floor with kuni, her rags discarded, the stomach appeared to have been sliced open with her entrails spilling out and the flesh has been torn from half her face. Her hands had been crushed and her eyes gouged out, not to mention the. . . Fluids covering her.

All of this wasn't what had horrified young Shisui as he had torn those men apart. Not the blood, not the child mangled on the floor, no it wasn't even the mercilessness of these disgusting excused for humans who did this.

It was the childs laughter.

As Shisui was focused on killing the men who would do such a thing to a child he missed it at first, but after the last assailant had been disposed all he could feel was pure terror at the scene before him.

Shisui, a jonin who experienced the death of friends on a near daily basis, who had seen some of the worst of what the world had to offer, could barely relay back to me what he had seen.

The girl, mangled and broken, who for all intents and purposes should have been choking on her own blood or screaming in pain, was LAUGHING.

Not a child's laugh, no he described it as the laugh of one possessed. Her body had begun healing before his eyes, the bones snapping back into place and the skin re-growing, her entire body reassembled itself before his eyes. But the miracle barely registered.

All he could hear was the laughter.

SAFE POINT* THE DARKNESS ENDS HERE, SQUIMISH PEOPLE MAY CONTINUE!

After learning that he had brought Tsukimi here I had come personally to watch over her, and had sent Shisui to the Yamanaka clan after he finished recounting the nightmare he had walked into.

So far only two people had approached the room I stood outside of. First It had been another council member. They had come to call me to a meeting about what to do with "the demons".

He hadn't gotten another word in before the back of my hand completely vaporized his skull on contact.

Needles to say the second person was currently scrubbing red off the walls.

It was a few minutes into this poor genin scrubbing walls, twelve buckets of water had already tuned to murky red, when someone new approached the room.

At first, I swore I was seeing things, that my age had finally gotten too me. But there she was, Tsunade, my old student, marching toward me with a disturbed expression marring her face.

"Tsunade what are you doing here?" I asked in surprise, and how could I not, after not seeing her in nearly a decade. Her response came in barley a whisper, though it was more of a hiss than anything, and the cold tone in her voice shook me to the bone.

"where. Is. my. Fucking. Goddaughter."

. . . fuck

AAAAAND. . .

Wow this got dark.

Really working for that M rating.

Just a little note I forgot to give in the intro, this fic will include but is not limited to the bashing of Hiruzen, Danzo, Neji, and SEVERE bashing of Konoha in genral.

Don't worry, Tsukimi and Naruto will be living much better lives after this, the reason for the horrors of this chapter are to develop Tsuki's 'Mad' personality, as well as giving Naruto an excuse to UNLEASH PRANKING HELL in chapter two, which is already in the works.

And don't worry, Tsukimi will be learning to use chakra in the next chapter, so expect some high impact violence very soon!

Side not- I do not condone violence in the manor described here, ECPECIALY not to children. If you have ever considered doing such things to others, kindly place a cheese grater up your butthole.

Now on a less serious note, because honestly that's no way to end a chapter, if you enjoyed leave a like, if you REALY like feel free to follow to get future updates as they happen, and also if you notice any major errors please point them out in the comments if you have a minute?

Now As always.

Keep it fresh.