[Goodbye]

***

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping... I should be happy.

But well, I'm not. Ever heard of the saying 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word'? Well, whoever said that must be wrong. In my case, it is wrong. I think Goodbye is. It's hard to let go of someone. Of that someone so dear to you and you heart. Of that someone that made your life worth living. Of that person who made your world go round.

It's like releasing your soul—the very essence of your life is nothing without it. And it's just like that.

Letting go means you'll lose a part of your life—and a very big one it is, too.

When you start missing and hurting and bleeding, over and over again as tormenting dreams haunt you each night, that of which makes you cry as you regain consciousness once again. Or in other words, you keep dreaming of that someone who you once let go and you'd regret it, so bad it hurts inside.

But what if fate made you two let go of each other? Made you change paths and go in separate ways only to find yourselves back where you had begun, but only without each other? How is that?

It's hard to forget all those good memories with that special person for memories remain forever and are embedded in one's mind like blood runs through one's veins.

So sorry is a hard word. But Goodbye is the hardest.

Now I'm sitting here, under the shade of the big oak tree, where from a distance I can see the 7th years' graduation taking place. Banners of different houses have been fluttering in the air; black-clad lots are stationed under the four different banners, listening to the headmaster's speech.

I smile weakly and let out a sigh, hoping he'll be happy with his life. Hoping he'll forget me in time like I will swear to forget him. Time heals wounds they say but I believe it only deepens the cut instead of making it heal.

Right now I feel weird. Like my whole body's numb and all I want to do is let him hold me in his arms and break down then and there and cry. Cry my heart out all night long and beg for him to stay, even though I know he couldn't and wouldn't. I knew he had to do what destiny speaks of him. I didn't want to let go. And He didn't either. But hey, it's fate, what are we but mere human beings?

We had last night together and talked hours on end about what he would do after reaching graduation, there were no kisses, no tears but I felt like crying and felt like kissing him but I didn't. I didn't. I know it will only lead to a more painful goodbye.

I kept all the emotions inside me, bottled up and unreleased up till now. And I am feeling so somber now, so melancholy and so sad and I feel like shedding a tear, or even a bucket of tears, only problem is I can't.

Yes, I CAN'T.

I cannot understand why it is so. I just can't. I guess when you feel so tired of getting hurt and crying, you just give up since you know it's not going to amount to anything anyway. And so, I gave up. I just feel so hollow inside. So emoty and unwanted. Like a hole has been driven into me.

He was the first. And I hope he becomes the last..

"Ginny?"

I turned around to meet the eyes of a raven-haired boy. Who he is, you know, who doesn't? He was Harry Potter.. Harry James Potter..

"Hey.." I say weakly.

Harry walks towards me, just a small gap between us that I felt so weak inside and wanted to just fall into his arms then and there. But I can't. I don't know why either.

Since last night we have become two separate people. We are one- we used to say. We felt when the other feels sad or depressed and annoyed. We were one, sharing our pain together, sharing the happiness and defeat. Those movies and those kisses. Everything.. But not anymore. We were one, I agree to that. WERE as in past tense. It was before. This is now.

Harry and I weren't looking at each other. Our eyes have been set on the lake where the giant squid swam around lazily. "So…?" I began, to break out the silence.

Harry turned to me, pursing his lips as if he didn't know what to say anymore. "I guess this is goodbye.." He said. There was a hint of sadness in his voice. And of another emotion, of which I did not know.

I sighed. "Yeah.." I say.

Then he turns around and leaves. "Goodbye.." I say, waving at his back.

He suddenly stops on his tracks and looks at me, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. He walks to me and wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Ginny.." He whisperes. The sincerity in his voice is unbearable and I just found myself crying. From pain, happiness and sadness. All the emotions from last night, being released all at the same time.

"I un-n-der-s-st-and.." I stuttered, sobbing quietly, tightening my grip around him, afraid to let go as if he was going to disappear with a small plop.

"I promise I'll be back for you…" Harry said. I pulled away from the hug. "Don't promise me anything. We all know promises are meant to be broken.."

Harry pulls me back again, our lips meeting in a gentle, soft kiss, probably the last we'll ever have. So life was like this. You're loved and then left in the middle after that. You're cared for than hurt afterwards. After we've pulled away from the kiss, Harry and I sat down the tree, again staring at the giant squid. "So what will we happen?" I asked, averting the look from his eyes.

"I dunno.." Harry said in a somber tone.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" I asked, incredulously.

"Whatever Voldemort will do, the Ministry doesn't know. Neither do I But all I'm sure about is, I have to and be after him along with the other Aurors.."

"What if you don't survive-"

"MR. HARRY POTTER!" A sound of applause and a roar of cheers boomed and Harry and I looked back wherein not fo far away, his graduation was taking place. "I guess, that's you.." I try to smile, patting him as he stood up. "Yeah, I guess," He says sadly and pats his robes. "I love you Ginny. And I cannot promise you I'll be back.. Who knows the dangers I will face.. So let's leave it this way. You forget me. I forget you.." He mutters, looking down to his shoes.

I just let out a sigh and lean against the bark of the tree.

"I love you too, and I'm sorry I can't forget you... Though how much I'd try, I just can't…"

He pulls me up and opens my closed hands, tracing the curves and lines of my palm. Then he looks up, sincerity burning within those deep pools of mellow green. It was so heartbreakingly sincere, I felt like crying. He takes my hand and inserts a silver ring. "Our love. Always and Forever.." He whispers..

"GRYFFINDOR'S STAR SEEKER! HARRY POTTER! Let us give him a round of applause!" We break away and he walks to the crowd where he is slapped playfully on the back and greeted.

"Yeah, goodbye, Harry. Guess this is it…" I look down on the ring that he gave to me. Goodbye Harry.

So the stars will only predict us being apart when we look up on it.

So we've said our goodbyes.

So I've tried to forget him, though I am sure I will not.

It doesn't matter. I'll keep the memories anyway.

But I'll never say goodbye to him.

This isn't goodbye afterall, who knows..

Fin~

A/N: Please review, my dear readers. I'm very much confused with the past tense, present tense thing in this fic, I keep switching eh…anyway..

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Merry Christams!

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