Ooh, it's long isn't it? Longer than most of mine. Anyway, a bit confusing, but not bad. Completely changed for the idea I began with. Bigger than the drabble I planned an' all. Still, improvements welcome.

MP SLASH Because I think Sam and Frodo have enough fics at the moment.

I think, in this one, Pippin's a tween. Not sure what age, but defiantly a tween. Maybe early tweens, with the child-like thoughts and everything.

Pretending

Am I in love with you yet, Merry?

I think I am. But then again, I always do. Always have. Maybe always will.

But you don't. Every time I've told you, you've always turned me away, said "It's not love, Pip." or "You love me, but you're not in love with me." Some other silly reason about how when you're in love with someone it's different, how I'm sure to tell the difference as soon as I see some pretty lass.

But I already know what it feels like. I've seen some pretty lass already, followed her around, kissed her when we're hidden from the road. I've fancied lasses, I'll admit, but fancied is all. It's not love. I got bored of them. And you're not supposed to get bored with someone you're in love with. I never get bored of you.

I'm getting confused, Merry. Is there something wrong with me? Can I only fancy lasses, never love them? Or is it something else? Is it because you don't love me back? You can tell me, you know. I'd rather that you did. Maybe then I could forget about you. Well, not forget you. Just these feelings. At least, try and forget.

Maybe if I pretend I love someone else, I will. Then you and me will just be best friends. Then I won't get so confused, and I won't feel so nervous when I see you, and I won't feel so sick and hurt and angry when I hear about you being happy with someone else.

I think I will. I'll tell you how I feel one more time. If you push me away, then that's it. I'll forget about these feelings, find someone else to love. And then we can just be best friends, for the first time, because I can't remember not loving you, even when I was little.

And then I won't have any more dreams about you hugging me and kissing me and looking at me and telling me how much you love me.

And then I can pretend it doesn't hurt when I see you smiling and laughing and happy with someone else that I don't know.

And if that works, maybe I'll pretend to myself I'm happy not loving you, waiting 'just in case' you change your mind one day. And maybe that'll come true. Maybe.