Hope you guys like this. It's my first fanfic, so go a little easy on me. I'm hoping to write some more...I have a few ideas for Ed/Bell, so some more short stories should be going up soon.

A/N2 I know this was supposed to just be a one shot of Edward, but I couldn't resist. I'm adding more chapters! I'm probably changing the name too, so if it's different, this was formerly Edward's Memories. Hope you like!

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own Twilight. I don't own any characters, and I don't own the song I quote, or the quotes from New Moon that I stick in there. Enjoy.

Edward's POV

I wished I could sleep. Forget. Forget everything: lying, leaving. I closed my eyes, trying to simulate freedom from consciousness. As soon as my lids closed over my eyes, visions of my dear Bella paraded across my mind.

I really miss your hair in my face.

I could remember the feeling of her hair, long and silky and beautiful. The way it would splay out over her pillow while she slept. When I could lie close next to her and feel it on my face.

And the way your innocence tastes.

Her lips on mine, offensively warm, beyond any other feeling I'd experienced. Holding her close, every inch of her hot skin burning against my own, her breath just as sweet.

I clutched my head, prying my eyes open, trying to push away the visions of my love. I tried in vain. Even after my eyes were open and I could see all four corners of the empty white room, her face assaulted my eyes.

You deserve much better than me.

I leaned my head back against the wall, remembering every word I'd said to her. "I don't want you to come with me." Her sunken reply, filled with agony. "You…don't…want me?" And that repulsive word that had left my lips, sealing the lie. "No."

Pain coursed through me as I replayed the scene in my head. I found myself writhing on the floor. I didn't need to breathe, but now I had trouble even trying to. I rolled face down, pressing my forehead against the hard floor.

"I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella." My words flowed quickly through my mind now. But hers…slowly…softly. She'd whispered so quietly, but I could hear her. "Don't…don't do this," she'd begged. "You're not good for me, Bella."

I could feel tangible pain now. I stood and crossed to the wall, slamming my fist through it. It passed through the flimsy partition with ease.

"Wait!" she'd called after me. I remember. I'd kissed her forehead. At that moment, it was hardest. Feeling her warm skin under my lips almost changed my decision entirely. It wouldn't be that bad to stay. Or take her with me. But Charlie. And Renee. I couldn't take her from her family. And I couldn't stay. It would only hurt her more, no matter how much she tried to tell me it wouldn't.