I was home already. Not really wanting to be here... I would rather be with him, like always. But I can't. I mean it isn't that I haven't got any time or something like that, no...
It's all my fault.
Last time I saw him I must have really been falling on his nerves.
He said he would phone.
But he never did...
I was angry with him, I know it's a bit stupid.
But the next day I became really ill and wanted to see him badly.
So I phoned him after his work, asking him what he was going to do that day.
He said he wasn't really doing anything and that he wouldn't come around, because I was ill.
In my mind I was screaming at him he should have come but, someone in the back had called for me and I had to hang up.
With a sad/hopeful
"Bye..."
I slowly hung up the phone.
Nothing... Not even an `I love you` or something similar.
The rest of the day I waited for a call from him.
In the evening I took the phone to my bed and curled up next to it, waiting, hoping.
Every time a noise came my muscles tensed, ready to grab the phone. I watched the clock next to my bed.
Minute after minute, hour after hour.
Nothing came.
As much as I hated it to cry, a few tears rolled down my cheeks.
I knew he wouldn't phone,
I had foreseen it.
But I was still hoping, wishing he would call
even if just to say good night.
But he didn´t.
As I slowly cried myself into sleep I knew the next day would be the same...
Just waiting for him to phone.
Feeling cold and alone.
Not doing anything but silently hoping.
It's hard...
Because every time this happens I hate him more and more.
But I still love him, more than anything in this world.
Even if he's so cold to me...
Other people would think it would be my part to be the cold, uncaring Bradley Crawford.
But sorry to disappoint you, I'm just a weak, lovesick man.
But he is the only one who can hurt me this deep...
My Schuldig...
and it really hurts
owari
It's all my fault.
Last time I saw him I must have really been falling on his nerves.
He said he would phone.
But he never did...
I was angry with him, I know it's a bit stupid.
But the next day I became really ill and wanted to see him badly.
So I phoned him after his work, asking him what he was going to do that day.
He said he wasn't really doing anything and that he wouldn't come around, because I was ill.
In my mind I was screaming at him he should have come but, someone in the back had called for me and I had to hang up.
With a sad/hopeful
"Bye..."
I slowly hung up the phone.
Nothing... Not even an `I love you` or something similar.
The rest of the day I waited for a call from him.
In the evening I took the phone to my bed and curled up next to it, waiting, hoping.
Every time a noise came my muscles tensed, ready to grab the phone. I watched the clock next to my bed.
Minute after minute, hour after hour.
Nothing came.
As much as I hated it to cry, a few tears rolled down my cheeks.
I knew he wouldn't phone,
I had foreseen it.
But I was still hoping, wishing he would call
even if just to say good night.
But he didn´t.
As I slowly cried myself into sleep I knew the next day would be the same...
Just waiting for him to phone.
Feeling cold and alone.
Not doing anything but silently hoping.
It's hard...
Because every time this happens I hate him more and more.
But I still love him, more than anything in this world.
Even if he's so cold to me...
Other people would think it would be my part to be the cold, uncaring Bradley Crawford.
But sorry to disappoint you, I'm just a weak, lovesick man.
But he is the only one who can hurt me this deep...
My Schuldig...
and it really hurts
owari