I don't own anything. Not even myself. BELIEVE IT!...-sasuke kicks me-
What happens when all you can think about is death? You die right? Well... what happens if you can't die. If all you can do is wonder the Earth only able to think of death. Waiting for someone to suffer with you. Could you do it? Could you bring someone in on your fate? Could you keep sane? Autumn Baise had this fate. Feeling like she was alone in her life wondering around looking for a meaning. Searching for what she could live for.
"I'm looking forward to the wedding Bella!" Bella Swan turned to her boyfriend and glared at him for talking her into the marriage.
"See that wasn't very horrible. Now back to my place to see what plans Alice has made." Edward held Bella's hand and led her to his Silver Volvo. Bella let out a painful sigh.
"HELLO MY FRIENDS!" I jumped out from behind the wonderful silver Volvo and landed right in front of my love Edward Cullen.
"Oh Edward how long has it been since I have lived with you? Oh I miss having the smell of you all over my body and clothing..JUST EVERYWHERE! I have missed you dearly! EDWARD HOLD ME!" I tossed my hand to my forehead in a dramatic gesture and fell forward expecting him to catch me in those wonderful arms of his and hold me tight to him like he did in the past. If only that would happen, but it didn't. I fell hard to the floor.
"You side stepped me! WHY EDWARD WHY!" I looked up at him, almost crying. He didn't look sorry at all. Actually he was smiling. That bastard! Edward looked as though he was chuckling but everything on him stopped all of a sudden. His body went rock hard, his presence felt like death, the air cold as ice.
"Jacob what are you doing here? You're not aloud." I heard a voice from behind Edward so I stood up to check it out.
"Oh hey wench." I waved at Edward's very human fiance with a huge smile.
"Don't call her that." I heard Edward's luscious voice threaten me but there was another one in there. One that I didn't know yet. I looked around to see who was talking to me but didn't see anyone that looked like a threat.
"Erm...I'm confused. Did the voices come back to my head again? DAMN IT I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF THEM!" I ran around in panic. I thought I got rid of the mean voices in my head.
"What the fuck? Is she mentally retarded?" The voice was closer and made me spaz more. I was going insane. More insane I mean. I think the world is ending for me! NO!
"Actually yes. She is...special." I can still hear Edward's voice. That is good. I might die if he lost his voice.
All I could thing about is running. Anywhere and everywhere. I ran, jumped, rolled, flipped but I was stopped by a wall. It was an interesting shape for a wall but hard as one. I shook my head trying to straighten up my thoughts and then looked up to see the wonderful wall that helped me out. It was a man. He looked huge, and scary. I felt very small. Very crush-able. I wanted to crawl away like the small bug I felt like, but I couldn't. I was scared.
"Jacob are you okay? You look a little...shocked? Did you not expect such an idiot to look so normal when she stayed put?" Bella's voice was just clear enough so I could understand it. I couldn't think of a come back to that. I didn't want to think. Why won't I move?!
"I'm okay, I just. I have to go." The man stepped away. He was Jacob? I don't like him. He scared me. I heard an engine start. It roared in the distance. I was able to move again and all I wanted to do was run after him. I had questions! My one track mind commanded my legs to move and run. I ran after him as he drove off on his motorcycle. I could hear people yelling behind me but they didn't matter. I wanted to know a small something.
I heard the motor stop after a fair distance. I kept running though to catch up to him. I heard a bunch of crashing and yells. It sounded painful. It sounded like a wounded animal. Why was this happening? Don't let it die! Don't let it be alone!
I stood behind a tree waiting for the painful screams to stop. It took a while.
"Why her! Why did it have to be her! NO! It can't be her! I need to see her and make sure! What's wrong with me!" I could hear him talking to himself. Arguing with himself more like.
I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree to walk over to him to ask my simple question. I noticed his whole body stiffen up once he saw me. He looked scared, almost as scared as I was.
"What." His voice echoed through my head. I felt empty. I felt alone.
"I have a question." I replied in a hushed voice with my head bowed. It would be a miracle if he heard me.
"Then ask. Get it over with." I looked up to him, and tried to make myself walk closer to him so I could see his face.
I stopped a few feet in front of him feeling very small once again.
"I wanted to ask you a small question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to or feel the need to." I examined his face of any sign for me to continue.
"Just ask and then leave ok. I'm not in the mood for staring contests." I looked down again feeling totally scared all over again.
"Please don't spaz at me for asking this. I kinda figured it out by your appearance. But are you a uhm...werewolf?" I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for either the mocking laughter or the great punch, but there was nothing. All sound stopped. All smell vanished. It felt like time had totally stopped.
I waited for something. Just a small something to tell me to do something. Nothing came. I started to wonder if Jacob ran away. I wouldn't be surprised. I peeked one eye open but he was still there. I looked totally up to see what was wrong. He looked mad. He was breathing hard, trying to calm himself i bet.
"How did you...?"I looked at him in shock. I didn't catch the end of this sentence but just enough to get it.
"I told you. You look it. I actually know a bunch on werewolves. Enough to spot one in a crowd. There is a bunch here too." I smiled at him in a poor attempt to cheer him up. It seemed to make things worst.
"I can leave if you wish. Actually I will leave. You already answered by your reaction. If you want to ask anything of me you can. Anything. Just please don't kill something." I nervously smiled then turned to leave. I got my answer which was all I wanted. I was insanely scared anyways so I was relieved to leave.
"Wait. There is some things. How did you find out that werewolves existed?" I looked over my shoulder to see if he was calm. He looked it. He stopped shaking at least.
"I have lived long enough. Believe it or not but I am older than Edward. I am probably 6 years older than him. Not in appearance, or knowledge. In years. That might explain a lot if you totally know him." I turned back around worried about my life now. Not only do i have a werewolf mad at me for finding out his secret..but now I will have a werewolf that will be mad at me for my secret.
"So you're a vampire. What year were you born?" He was surprisingly calm from the sound of it. I didn't dare turn around to see if he was all ok with this though.
"I was born around 1855, i was changed when i was around 15 or something like that. Pretty old huh? But most of my life was kinda wasted. Locked up. I deserved it of course. They said I was insane. Now i actually am from being cut off from everything, though I can't be as insane as they think since I can admit to it and except it." I smiled at the ground. It didn't make me happy, but the thought of me admitting to my insanity did.
I sensed that he didn't want me there anymore so I continued walking.
"Wait. Another thing. Why don't you have their smell?" I turned to him. This question surprised me. They have a special scent? Did the Cullen's get some kind of body spray? That has to be it! Why else would they smell so amazing!
"I don't understand the question. I never knew we had a different scent. I mean you don't smell different. Actually now that I think about it you have a nice smell. Very wild. Mmm, I like it." I closed my eyes to focus on it. It really did smell nice. It was opposite from the Cullen's. They had kind of a sweet smell. Jacob has a wild smell, it reminded me of George of the Jungle. What the fuck?
"Those leaches usually have a different scent. They smell horrible to me but you don't. That is probably why I didn't know about you. Wait...FUCK!" I watched Jacob go from pretty normal to totally insane. From what I knew he was going to change into his wolfy self. I wasn't scared though. He was a little close to change but I can take it. If I can live with Edward Cullen then I can be ripped to shreds by a werewolf transforming.
Jacob was slowly backing off. I was starting to wonder why he was acting so strangely. He didn't seem old enough to reach total insanity. I thought about it. Didn't come up with anything so I settled with thinking he was PMSing. It doesn't go with his gender but who really cares? I looked up to the sky watching the clouds go by. I thought about how I wanted to fly. It wasn't a strange thought. Everyone got the idea every once in a while. I looked back down shortly after though to check up on Jacob. He was gone.
I wanted to know why he suddenly left but then again I had a feeling that he couldn't talk at the moment. It is a little hard to form words with an animals snout. So all I did was sit. Thought about my life which wasted away as I thought of it. I sang a bunch of songs. Then I finally got tired so I went for a walk. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care either. I just walked. It isn't like I was going to walk myself to death. It takes more than that to kill Autumn Baise the great. Everything looked the same. Everything smelled the same. Just greens and browns around me. Nothing special. After a bit I decided to run. It was a lot more fun than walking. Then I can scream at the top of my lungs and people would just think it is a retarded bird passing by. I ran not knowing where I was headed screaming. I turned at random times wanting to mix things up. I didn't get tired of running around but it was getting late and people might get a little freaked out if they saw me running by screaming, so I stopped and walked to the closest house to see if i can crash there. The people would most likely say no but it was worth a try.
The first house I went to a man answered the door. When I asked if I could crash there he asked me if this was a booty call. I walked away. The second house an old lady answered and then threw popcorn at me. I wasn't getting anywhere with this so I wandered the streets. I saw a boy walk by. I didn't mean to but I found out he was also a werewolf. It isn't something I control. I ran up to him and said hi. Asked if I could crash at his place. He told me he wasn't sleeping at home. I nodded and asked if I could just follow him then. I think I was freaking him out. Either that or turning him on. Creeper.
I walked with him for a bit. I didn't learn his name. I didn't find a reason to. I noticed that we were close to where he was headed because he picked up his pace and walked a little differently. There were two men in front of us. The boy walked up to them and started chatting. One of the men looked really mad all of a sudden. Were all werewolves here jerks?
"Autumn Baise. You really shouldn't be here." The oldest looked down at me. It reminded me of how Jacob towered over me. I have a feeling that is the way they make me feel small.
"Well I can guess how you know my name. Jacob 'told' you. What I don't know though...is why aren't I aloud here? Is there a rule?" I looked up at him trying not to run away in fear and hide under the closest car.
"Actually yes there is. Blood suckers aren't aloud in these parts. Your not welcome. Your little Cullen friends are breaking the rules here." He seemed pretty serious. I don't remember being told any rules. Oh wait...oh...ooh...shit.
"GAH! Oh well this sucks. You're going to kill me now aren't you. Oh well. I've lived long enough trying to die anyways. Somehow the Cullen's find out and stop me. Those bastards." I looked to the side and glared as though they were standing beside me. I totally forgot about the little thing Edy told me. How was I suppose to know where i was going while I ran around screaming?
"Lets head over." The oldest said. He was talking to the two others but i followed as well. I heard the one i was following early say something to the oldest. I learned the oldest name was Sam. Ew.
"You can't come with us. You're not even aloud here." Sam glared at me over his shoulder. I smiled in reply and kept following him. He looked really pissed off but help back for some reason. Today was pretty messed up.
I followed them up to a house. It had s familiar scent to it. I couldn't remember who it was from though. It was mixed in with another...many others. They just walked into the house without Knocking or anything. I found it rather rude but it seemed like the person didn't care because they didn't ask if it was a booty call or throw popcorn at them. In the house the smell was over powering. It wasn't grows or anything. If was just really heavy. I looked around the house not really seeing anything. I was just thinking about why i didn't come to this house to crash in the first place. These people didn't seem like jerks.
"Why is she here." I heard a males voice. I recognize it. What is with my memory today? I heard it somewhere today. WAIT!
I turned my head to the direction of the voice and the amazing scent.
"Hey Jacob! Why are you here?" I looked around. Everyone were werewolves. "Oh I get it. It's a werewolf party! SHVEET!Wait. Aww I am the out cast...SHVEET!" I smiled at everyone totally amused that I'm the only vampire in the room.
"How does she know about us. You told her didn't you!" The boy I was following early yelled at Jacob. A bunch of the people in the room looked pretty mad at Jacob and me. I have a feeling someone or something is going to get hurt.
"He didn't tell me anything actually. I found out. I am cool like that, so please don't blame Jacob. He actually got totally pissed at me for finding out. He kinda ran away because of a little changing problem." I smiled nervously at them then bowed my head. I had the great feeling to leave come over me again and the fact that all the people here towered over me didn't help anything. I backed away slowly with the sudden fear coming over me. I felt crushed. The room felt small. Not again. Please not again. Leave me alone!
"Autumn. Autumn Baise! Yo! Hey get up! Your ok! Well for now." Someone was calling me. I looked up from the floor. I had my arms around my legs and i felt myself rocking. Since when was I here? I was on the floor against a wall. My neck, back, arms, everything hurt. I have a feeling i was curled up in a ball.
"Why am I on the floor?" I looked around. The room looked a lot bigger. The werewolves were sitting around talking, 3 of them against the wall and all the rest were either laying down or sitting down. I looked back in front of me to see Jacob. He actually looked worried. I started to panic. What happened? Why was on the floor.
"D-did I h-have another panic a-attack? GAH!" I stood up quickly which scared Jacob a bit my the looks of him. He stared at my legs for a bit then finally looked up to me almost like his eyes didn't catch the movement.
"Where did that come from! You almost hit me!" He stood over me like he did before, the only difference is that i didn't scare me as much.
"Can you please just tell me why i was against the wall holding my legs and rocking?" I tried to make myself look unamused but it is a little hard not to. A wolf off guard? That's too funny. They say they are on guard at all times. Ha!
"You just flipped out talking about how your getting crushed. That's about it. Can you explain that to me?" Jacob stepped back noticing that he was standing a little close for his own comfort.
"I told you I was locked up for a good chunk of my life. They would do things like put me in a tight jacket and pants things and then put me in a room. This was after I was changed but they didn't know that and i was slowly learning what happened, and since we didn't know we didn't know I needed to get blood or else i will flip. So when i went quite a while without anything but like bar things i started to spaz so they put the jacket and pants on tighter and put me in this room where they made it smaller the more i struggled. I don't know what they did to me because a vampire in that situation could break out easily. Then this man took over and realized my little problem and fed me right...but didn't change the way they held me. He was the first I killed when I broke out. I can't remember how long i was in there. I just remember getting out and being totally confused. It was like i traveled ahead in time. Women weren't wandering in these weird dresses and men didn't treat them like total crap. It was almost like people were living normally. It was around the 1970's when i got out. Pretty intense. So Ya i don't like tight spaces too much..." I looked down to the floor a little surprised i said so much. I looked at the others and noticed they heard my little story also.
I looked up to Jacob and smiled. He was nice. Edward told me werewolves were trouble. That was one of the reasons i don't like them. They judge people without knowing.
"Oh ya i should leave right about now. Edward might spaz at me again and lock me in their house. Won't work but it doesn't stop him. One time he locked me in the trunk of my car because he knew i spaz out in tight space. I have a feeling I piss him off a little too much." I looked around. I still felt a little scared of this place, which would probably explain why I was saying too much.
"That doesn't sound like him. Bella might want to know of this." Jacob looked at the wall deep in thought. From the looks of it he seemed pretty in love with her.
"You should move on you know. Bella is getting married, and Edward is actually backing off now." It felt like something to say. It might have been something he didn't want to hear but for an unknown reason...it came out.
He looked at me again. Stared at me for a bit then started to spaz out. He grabbed onto his head and started saying random things. Most of it was "Why her". I didn't understand the rest. He went into a room and then started to trash things. There was a bunch of banging so he was either trashing the room...or himself.
I looked at the others in the room wondering if I should walk over and join them, talk to Jacob or if i should just leave. Since I had no where to go, and i really didn't want to be thrown at a wall accidentally by Jacob I joined the others. I sat against the wall away from the others still a little uncomfortable around them. They looked at me strangely then went back to what they were doing. I sat on the floor against the wall so they didn't seem so big to me at the distance i was at. I noticed Sam kept looking at me. It wasn't use to people looking at me like he did. There was hatred, pity and something a little different. It was something i haven't seen before so i didn't know what was going on. I looked at the other and noticed that they looked pretty much the same. I could still feel Sam looking at me but i tried to ignore it the best i could.
"Why are you on the floor?" i looked over to see that Same finally decided to talk to me instead of just staring.
"Because you scare me. Is that so complicated?" I replied bluntly.
Sam sat there for a minute. He looked a little strange. I wasn't very familiar with the way he set his face and actions. He looked like he was hurt, confused, mad, relieved. A mix of a lot of emotions.
"If you are so afraid of us that you can't be near us then why are you even in this house? Is there a reason you are hear in the first place?" Sam stared at me suddenly emotionless.
"Well if you must know. I am here for a place to stay. It seems like an open place here. If i didn't find this place i would have most likely slept on a tree somewhere. I'm not about to go back to that place. Edward isn't pleased with me and well I don't like him too much. Who's house is this again?" I looked around looking for something to show me who's house it was. So far all i got was that it was an old man's place. Now to figure out why all these men are here...
"This is Jacob's and Billy's house." Sam looked at me with a hint of "is-this-chick-stupid-of-what" in his eyes.
"Jake lives here? COOL!" I stood and jumped up about a foot in the air.
Sam looked at me a little shocked my the speed. I should remember that normal people don't do that...wait i am far from normal so why should i care?
I looked around the room trying to see if Jacob was in the room. Apparently not. So i closed my eyes and tried to track down his scent. His scent was everywhere so i went to my other fantastic plan. Run around the house like an idiot looking for him. So i walked out of the room at a normal person speed and then ran around like the idiot i am at a very not normal person speed. For the first minute of running around i was just running for the hell of it then i decided to look for Jacob. I noticed the feeling in the house changed. Probably because i was running around at an insane speed and the men in the house weren't use to that. Of well who really cares about them?
I found Jacob in a room that had the over whelming scent of him. It was most likely his room. I opened the door and walked in to the wonderful smell of awesomeness...shut up i have my way of describing things. I stepped in and closed the door behind me. I was still at the high speed so it was almost like nothing happened. I stood there ing his room right in front of the door waiting for him to notice i was there. For an odd reason i felt like something was wrong. Almost like i did something to him. I started to panic a little because i didn't know what i did. It couldn't be that i was a vampire or anything.The men in the house seemed to be ok with it all, well almost ok. I noticed him sit up in his bed with a small grunt.
"Oh I'm sorry i woke you up didn't I?" I started to panic a little more thinking he will hate me more than he did before i barged in and woke him.
"No its ok. I didn't mean to fall asleep anyways." He looked up at me through the dim light of the room. I felt weird just standing there but i didn't want to just sit on his bed without permission. I did enough with just coming in.
Jacob smiled but them looked really hurt soon after. He bowed his head as though he was thinking of something that hurt him. I know i was waiting for an invitation but this was something that you can't just watch. i walked over to him and stood right in front of him for a little bit to see if he backed away. He didn't move at all so i reached out my hands and held his head in my hands and bent down to rest my cheek onto it. I closed my eyes and smiled at the pleasant smell of his hair. He didn't move much, all i felt was him slowly relaxing. I slowly lifted my head off of his to look at him and see if he was doing any better. He stayed the way he was as I slid my hands off of his dark hair. I smiled weakly and sat down onto the floor to see his face.
"I don't know what's wrong and you don't have to tell me. I feel as though I am hurting you and I am very sorry. If i am bothering you just tell me to leave. I wont take it offensively even if you say it rudely. I just don't want to see you hurt. I don't understand why, i just don't. If you wish to talk to me then you can come get me. I am going to be with the other beasties so you can rest." I smiled up at him. His eyes were closed and his expression wasn't as hurt as it was before. I stood up slowly still trying not to startle him. I walked across the floor and out the door before he could reply. I wanted him to think about what i said. I wanted the words to sink in.
"So you return. Just in time i have questions for you." Sam looked back to me and gestured for me to sit across from him.
I stood there for a small bit and then decided to do as he told and sat across from him waiting for the torture of questions.
"First I want to know if you have the same diet as the Cullen's or are you different?" Sam bent closer to me, leaning his elbows onto his legs.
"They are on a diet? What they found a way to like make low in fat blood or something?" I looked up to the ceiling in thought.
"No I'm not talking about that. I was talking about how they only hunt animals." Sam sighed at my apparently idiotic reply.
"No i don't feed on animals. I find that disgusting. They may not be as advanced as people are but they have lives too." I glared at Sam offended that he would even suggest that i could possible feed and kill and animal.
"Ok so you kill humans for blood then?" Sam glared at me harder expecting the worst.
"Nope. I don't like the idea of that either. I only killed two people in my life and that was years ago. And it wasn' even for their blood." I kept our little staring contest up with an slightly more intense glare than his.
"Than what do you feed on? Insects?!" Sam sat up and rested onto the back of the couch. Looks like I won the staring contest.
"No. Before i used the blood bag things that blood donors filled up. Of course i only drank the ones that many people had as in type O." I looked at him, studying his expressions so I could see if I offended him in any way.
"The key word there is before. What do you do now?" Sam looked up at the ceiling. I'm guessing because he is getting annoyed.
"Erm. Actually I still drink human blood. I just don't bite people. I have a friend that helps me out." I looked at the wall beside me a little embarrassed to explain this to him.
My eyes wandered back to him, he looked deep in thought. I looked at the others in the room, once i looked their way they turned their head. Creepers. I gave out a loud yawn and decided it was time to stop thinking.
"Heads up guys. I'm about to change." I knew that i just confused them by my words. They know werewolves change but vampires changing does sound a little weird.
I sat back into my chair and closed my eyes. I felt a part of me fall asleep as the other stayed. Almost like a dolphin. Well I'm weird. I opened up my eyes again, adjusting them quickly to the new sight and saw everyone looked like statues just sitting there and staring. I took a deep breath trying to get use to everything again.
"What the heck just happened?" One of the men that was sitting on the other side of the room stood up, looking pretty angry.
"I got to tired so i put my human self to sleep." I smiled at them.
They all just sat there confused. I guess I have to explain THAT too now. I sighed rather loudly and hunched over in my seat. This wasn't going to be too easy to explain.
"You buys better know about vampires having an ability when they change. Edward's is reading minds, Alice is seeing the future and whatever else ok? Well mine is a little wonky. Before I was changed I had mind problems. I still do but now i blame the people who locked me up for it. Anyways because of those problems when i was changed my human self stayed. It is like i am two people in one. I think it is the ultimate multi-personality thing." I giggled to myself.
"That would be why you people can't sniff me out as a vampire. When I am out i put out more of my human self. When i do that it makes my vampire scenes higher which i don't mind at all...except for the needing blood more part." I my eyes and mind wondered off to someplace beyond this.
"Anyways! That is whats up. So that means i am going to have to run off in a few hours because i need to wake the human part." I smiled at them all and stood up. I walked into the hall way because i started to feel the pain of the vampire blood taking over and the wanting of everything. I took out my cell phone and dialed the number to my best friend. It was late but she didn't care at situations like this. I heard her sweet voice on the other end and explained what was up. After about three minutes it was all over and we said our goodbyes. I walked back into the living room and sat back down onto the couch in a ball.
Around thirty minutes later i heard the engine of a car drive up the the front of the house. I smiled and ran to th door before she could knock. We giggled and hugged each other, looking at what the other looked like. She had a black flowing dress on that went to her mid thighs. No sleeves were on it so she attached some by cutting off the sleeves off something else and tieing them on at the back. Everything on her dances in the wind, her black lower black length hair, loose sleeves by her wrist and the billions of layers on the skirt of her dress. Her knee high black boots were the only thing that wouldn't move. My little black angel here to save me from my thirst. I walked with her to the room where all the guys were to introduce her.
"Guys this is Lana Mid. She is me special blood bank." My red eyes met her brown ones with intense amusement. Of course we broke out in laughter at out intensity.