Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl belongs to Eoin Colfer, not me.
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His parents were acting strange again.
Mother was staying in her room more and more often, pleading illness. And his father was whistling. Whistling. Artemis was suspicious. And when Artemis Fowl II is suspicious, the world should take note.
Of course, he didn't have to wait long, or even snoop around. His parents told him only a day or so later.
A new little Fowl was on the way.
"It was inevitable, Holly," Artemis said. He continued typing away at his computer while he talked to her on the comlink. "They're still young enough to have more children, and with my father finally returning to us-"
"But the world really doesn't need more of you running around," Holly groaned. "Just think…more little Artemises making up schemes. Like clones or something…"
"It'll be quite a while before the baby's cognitive processes are developed enough to concoct plots on scales such as mine," Artemis reassured her. "Besides, Juliet's returning from America to tend to the child. That will keep it occupied."
"Another Fowl," Holly bemoaned. "Another Fowl child to keep in line…I hate my life…" Artemis let out a very uncharacteristic snicker and ended the link.
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Artemis was gone at school for most of his mother's pregnancy- thankfully, in his opinion. He had no desire to see his mother with a stomach the size of a small watermelon. But eventually the semester came to an end, and he found himself standing in the hallway of the manor, feeling uncharacteristically anxious.
"Arty!" Angeline called. "Arty, is that you, darling?"
"Yes, Mother," Artemis called, handing his coat to Butler.
"Please come up here, dear."
Artemis walked up the massive staircase and down the hall. The door to a former guest room was slightly ajar, sending the smell of fresh paint into the rest of the house. "What is it, Mother?" he asked.
"Isn't it lovely?" Angeline sighed, stepping back and smiling at her handiwork. The guest room had been transformed into a child's paradise in soft yellow and white, with paintings from Peter Pan hung between the bay windows. A huge crib covered in soft blankets stood ready, waiting for its tiny occupant. Angeline sighed again and set her hand against her swollen belly, seven months pregnant. "I'm so excited, Arty. It's been so long since I've had a little one to hold." She stroked her teenage son's back. "And you were so independent, even as a baby. You barely needed to be held." Angeline smiled. "I still remember your first day of kindergarten. You didn't even want to kiss me goodbye. You just strode right into your classroom at the academy without looking back."
Artemis swallowed hard. He remembered that day too- just a little differently. He'd wanted to be held; all he wanted to do was cling to his mother and hide in her embrace. But she just let him walk away, like she didn't even mind.
He shook his mother's hand off. "Well, you'll have this child to take care of," Artemis said sharply. He stalked out of his room, and at the moment no one could deny it, not even him.
He was jealous.
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It was precisely two twenty-four in the morning when Artemis was shaken awake. "What on earth is it?" he growled.
"Arty, wake up," Juliet said. "Your father told me to wake you. Your mother's going to the hospital. The baby's coming." Her blue eyes were wide with fear. "She's two months early."
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Holly was quite sure she was dreaming. First of all, Artemis Fowl- the Artemis Fowl- had called her at four o'clock in the morning without a crime offer, and second and most shocking of all, he was begging.
She kind of liked it.
Until she realized what he was saying.
"Holly, you've got to come," Artemis pleaded. "Mum had the baby, but it's too early and it's too little and it's going to die. You have to come."
"All right, all right, calm down, child," Holly said, noting that Artemis had called his mother "mum." It was kind of cute.
"I am not a child!" Artemis barked.
"Yes, you are," Holly corrected. "You're only thirteen. D'arvit, just act your age for while."
"I am not a child, and you will come and heal the baby, or you will pay the consequences," Artemis snarled into the comlink. He ended the communications.
Holly sighed heavily. "Root will have my badge over this," she mumbled. But if the Artemis Fowl II called her up out of his own free will and begged, she would have to do something about it.
Besides, she'd seen the "consequences" before. They usually weren't pretty.
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Author's Notes:
Man, I wrote this back in the fricking dark ages! All right, maybe not that long ago, but still. I think this was written shortly after the third book came out.
Oy.