Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

A/N: Hello. This is a sorta sequel to 'Beyond Repair' but with Duo POV. Hope you like.

Warning: Bad Language. Duo/OMC.

Enjoy!

Attempting Repair

Posted on 20th Feb, 2008

"You do know that Heero's gay, right?" Caleb, my boyfriend and a fellow agent, asked me over a couple of beers in a bar one night and I raised an eyebrow at his topic. There was a rainstorm outside, and I was looking forward to going home to my best friend at the same time as dreading walking there through that shower.

"And how would that concern me in any way?" I asked him nursing the mug of beer in my hands, the foam long disappeared into the amber liquid. To be honest, I had no idea what Heero's sexual preference was… and I didn't care. He was my best friend and that is that.

"There's a rumour that he likes you." I stilled at that. I really shouldn't be listening to this.

"It's a rumour. It's not true." I said as I sipped my beer watching him do the same.

"But… if it is… what would you do?" He asked me and I wondered while simultaneously trying not to think about it. It wouldn't matter, I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that it wouldn't change anything. I wanted to tell him that should it happen he had nothing to worry about. I was not one of the cheating guys. I wouldn't go behind his back and sleep with Heero or anything.

"Guess we'll never find out." I smirked at him as I kissed him.

How wrong was I?

That very night when I got home I saw that Heero had waited up for me. In the years after the war I had grown taller while Heero had seemed to grow just a little but stay on the small side. He was only a little taller than Quatre, but it made him look fragile. A deadly mistake, if anyone made it. He was far from fragile. The many years after the war had turned him faster, and stronger as he went from a boy to a man.

I admired that about him. I also thought he was so not my type. It also kind of frustrated me how people immediately believed that because we were living together that we must be together.

Not every gay guy had to fall for another gay guy. Not that Heero's gay. Damn I'm still thinking about what Caleb said.

"I love you." He said to me just as I entered, wringing my soaked braid, before I had a chance to say anything normal like 'hey Heero' or 'gee, why'd you stay up so late?' but instead I was left gaping and thinking, what are the chances that I discuss this with my boyfriend ONCE and it happens?

No… seriously… what are the chances?

"What?" I ask him, feeling rather lost for words as I see the way he shuffles, the way he shifts his feet and crosses his hands. He's nervous. This couldn't be happening. I refuse to let this happen. He's my best friend DAMNIT! I've got to do something to make this better. "You're joking right?" I ask him pleading with my eyes for him to take the bait. To say, 'yeah… it was a joke' and everything would be fine.

He stayed silent and looked away. I willed it so hard for him to just take the out. To just take the bait and put this behind us.

He said nothing.

Gritting my teeth I turned and left to go to my room. I gave him a chance to take it back, he didn't. Now I have to do some thinking.

The next morning I tried my hardest to act normally around him. But I felt a little frustrated too because Heero knew I was with a guy, heknew I was not a cheater and he still told me that.

What was he expecting me to do? Drop Caleb and just fuck him into the mattress?

No thanks Heero. As much as I love you (as a friend, strictly) I won't go about breaking hearts like that. I'm not an asshole.

I tried really hard. I tried to keep up my constant chatter around him, but I was starting to second guess myself. I was starting to wonder if the way I acted had made him think that I felt something more for him than a friend. The second guessing made the conversations forced because I started weighing everything I said in my head twice, started swallowing a lot of the impulsive things I used to say… I used to do.

God, did I really hug Heero so many times a day? No wonder the guy had the wrong idea.

I watched what I said almost obsessively. I stopped flirting with him jokingly because dude… I didn't want to worsen Heero's feelings for me. If anything, I wanted them gone. I wanted to go back to being the way we used to be before Heero said those three little words.

Little? Hah. My ass.

But I knew, it would never work anymore. We couldn't go back. Around Heero, I couldn't be Duo anymore. I couldn't say what I wanted to, I couldn't do what I wanted to. I would always wonder, always rethink.

It wouldn't work. But I tried. I would fight to keep my best friend damnit!

But as the days went by, and then the days turned into weeks… I realised that he wasn't my best friend if I couldn't be myself around him.

He was always watching me, always trying to dissect me and I got tired of it. It felt like he was obsessing over this too much and it started grating on my nerves.

Eventually a time came when I would open my mouth to say something and then just snap it closed. Only god knew what he would make of it. It's best I don't say anything. That I just stay quiet.

It was easier.

Then, he started pulling away from me. He told me to go on to work without him. We always, ALWAYS, go together and now suddenly we can't? Not anymore?

Why the fuck not? Because you said you love me and I can't love you back? Is that it?

It got worse when he refused to go to lunch with me. Then he told me to go home without him.

Know what asshole? Whatever.

As if that wasn't enough, now he decides to lock himself in his room. Can't even bear to be in the same room with me can he? It's necessary that we fuck now that you've confessed, isn't it? Otherwise you clearly don't care.

Like I said, whatever.

If you don't want to be in my company, then fuck you. Or rather, you wish.

Know what? I don't need a best friend like you. I have Caleb, who's my boyfriend and my new best friend. I can actually talk without thinking so hard around him. I can be myself around him. I can hug him and kiss him without thinking about what it may mean to him.

… which is exactly the reason why I got so fucking drunk one night that I pretty much climbed on top of Caleb in the bar we were at. I wanted him, he wanted me and we both wanted each other.

My place was closer. Heero stayed locked up in his room all day anyway so why not?

I didn't expect him to be waiting for me, to catch my eye when I kissed Caleb. My thoughts filtered too slowly through my alcohol fogged brain and I realised too late that I had just acted very insensitively.

But hey? He wanted to put a rift between us, I just helped it along. So I'll be damned if I apologize to him later.

And it definitely did not stop me from fucking Caleb's brains out that night.

Then… something new happened. A few days after the drunken sex incident Heero started wearing long sleeved shirts and covering himself up ridiculously much even in closed, warm spaces.

He also started trying to talk to me again.

What the fuck? Decide if you want to be friends or not moron. You don't get to change sides so fast that I can't keep up.

And no thank you.

It did freak me however, how much I had missed his voice.

But it was only a little bit.

Soon enough, he quietened again and I was glad for the return to normalcy.

Hah! Normal! What is normal is me hanging off Heero at all times, of me flirting with him and smacking his ass and talking to him all the time…

God have I really been flirting with him for so long?

But the new normal is us not talking to each other. Period.

Then, out of the blue, he asks me "Why can't we be friends?"

Why can't we be friends? What the hell? We were friends you moron! And you had to go and destroy that! I keep my mouth shut though. If you have nothing good to say, then don't say fucking shit.

"Can we still be friends?" Ah… a new question. Phrased differently… a different question.

No I don't think we can anymore Heero. I stayed quiet but I'm sure he got my answer loud and clear. He left, and I resumed watching TV,

Of course, the others noticed the falling out that Heero and I had. Quatre came to me first, the mother hen that he is and asked me what was wrong with Heero.

Well go ask him why the hell don't ya? Leave me the fuck alone.

Then comes Wufei, asking me what happened. When I asked him 'when did I become his keeper Wufei?' he gave me a look and said 'whatever it is that's going on between you two, fix it.' And left.

Yeah, he gets to order me around. Fuck off!

Trowa came next and he just stared at me. And then stared at me some more.

Then he said, "You're his best friend. Don't do anything stupid. He's more sensitive than you think."

Uh huh… sure. Whatever. He's just been a treasure of feelings lately. All emotional and crying and pained and all.

He's fucking quiet! He won't say a damn thing and I don't care anymore.

And I'm tired of hearing all these people come to me as though I did this to him!

I storm to our office angry and frustrated beyond belief. As soon as I enter I say the first thing that comes to mind, "I'm getting really fucking tired of this."

It's been months since I said anything to Heero, and it feels strange to say anything to him again. But now that I have started, I'm not going to stop. "Stop acting like such a goddamned victim all the time! I can't go anywhere without people asking me what is wrong with you!"

I really, really hope he stops. The angst thing was starting to get on my nerves.

"I'm sorry." He says, his face blank. Huh… so this blank face makes people think he's the victim? Right. I'll never understand people.

And Heero? Drop the stoic act. It's getting really fucking old.

He has the sense to leave early that day, and I'm glad. It was entirely possible that I would spontaneously combust with the anger I had boiling just below the surface if I stayed any longer in his presence.

The rest of the work day goes smooth. The office feels strangely empty without him on the other side and I am torn between relief at getting some space and the itch to get Heero back in his seat and return to being infernally annoying.

I fucking hate it when things change. I was happy being Heero's best friend and Caleb's boyfriend. Now everything had gone topsy turvy with Heero wanting to be my boyfriend and me looking for a best friend in Caleb.

It. Doesn't. Work.

No it doesn't!

Five minutes before I leave I check my email and I feel all the blood draining from my face, leaving a strange chill in its wake.

I'm sorry Duo. I'm leaving. I won't come back. Goodbye.

I'm surprised to see my hands shaking when the message ended. I quickly check when the message was sent and am horrified to see it was well over four hours ago. Heero has had plenty of time to disappear.

I whip out my cell phone and call Heero's cell. God my fingers know his number still even though I haven't called him once in months!

Pick up, pick up, pick up. I chant mentally, my eyes drawn to the snow storm starting outside.

Where will he go? What is he going to do? Did he really leave? Is he really going to just disappear from my life? Just like that?

"Please pick up!" I plead but the ringing then goes to voicemail and I swallow thickly as I pull on my jacket and dash out of the office, not bothering to pack up my stuff. It doesn't matter, not now.

I run to the apartment not bothering to wait for a fucking bus, my breath heaving as my lungs burn with the chilly air. I dash upstairs, forgoing the elevator and rip the front door open.

Everything looks normal… but there's no Heero.

"Heero!" I call and the name sound strange on my tongue. God, how long have I not said his name?

I go to his room, the door is closed and I wish that he's on the other side. I knock lightly but there's no answer. I try the doorknob and it's unlocked. As soon as I enter I felt like someone grabbed my heart and just squeezed.

It was empty. Bare. Completely stripped of everything that made it Heero's.

I threw open the closet doors and saw that it was empty. The drawers of the desk were empty. The bed had white sheets on it, made military style.

Everything was gone. Gone.

I think I fell to my knees then. I pulled out my cell phone again and dialled Heero's number, hoping against hope that he'll pick up.

I feel my hopes dashed when I hear the phone ringing in the living room. I rush there to find it sitting on the living room coffee table belting out the Hamster song which I had programmed into his cell one day so many months – ages – ago.

He left. He fucking left.

I'm surprised to find myself crying and I wipe the tears away angrily. If he left me, then I won't be crying any more tears for him. He can go to fuck himself for all I care.

I grab the cell phone and march to the window. I push it open feeling the freezing wind hurl snow and ice on my face and into the room. With one smooth motion I throw the still ringing cell outside, watching it disappear in the haze of white snow.

"Goddamn you Heero." I snarl at the howling winds and snap the window shut.

I sank down into the couch right there, almost seeing Heero's shadow sitting there as he typed on his laptop. He had one spot and he always sat there. He never moved from there.

I saw the shadow of a memory play out in front of me of the time when I had thrown him a birthday party and he had been so, so happy in the Heero-way of his. He had just smiled slightly at me at the end of the party when everyone had gone home and I knew that he had enjoyed it. That he had been happy that I had given him a party.

He told me later, that was the first party he'd ever had. Hell… that was the first time someone bothered remembering his birthday.

I remember the way his blue eyes had widened with happiness, and his face had glowed beautifully.

Oh god I miss him already.

Even when we have been fighting for months now… he was still here… I hadn't really missed him.

But now… he's gone.

And I want him back damnit!

I'm going to find him and throw him back into his room and tell him to make it his again. I pulled out my cell phone and saw that it was still calling Heero's. I cancel the call and dial Quatre. We had work to do.

End.

A/N: Yeah... it's a one-shot. But at least it's happier right? I don't know yet but I may continue this as a series of one-shots. Or not. Dunno.

Hope you liked!