Comfort Food
By Rhino7
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. This messy thing is mine, as is Duke. This is very loosely connected to the final chapter of Good Enough for Me, but only barely. If you've read that, then you'll catch on faster, I think; otherwise, just enjoy! Mostly I just wanted to write some more fluff with Leon and Tifa. So don't try to find too deep of a purpose in this. Tee hee.
..:-X-:..
Tifa's alarm went off at five a.m. She would have much rather preferred that it went off at noon, or that there was a hammer handy to destroy it, but alas…With a groan, she flopped an arm out, swatting at the clock until the ringing stopped. Poking her head out from under the blanket, she pushed her hair out of her eyes and grunted.
Four whole hours of sleep…a record high for the month.
Fighting the temptation to just roll over and say 'screw it', she slithered out from under the warm, comfortable blankets, swallowing a curse as her bare feet met the cold wood floor. She was still grumbling as she staggered into the bathroom, took a shower, and only stopped while she was brushing her teeth.
This was getting ridiculous. Hardly any sleep, barely any time alone, and enough paperwork to fill Kingdom Hearts itself: it was enough to drive anyone mad. With this mindset, she wasn't totally surprised with what greeted her in the living room.
Leon was sitting on the floor behind the recliner, eating peanut butter out of the jar with a popsicle stick. Duke was lying on the tile in the kitchen, gnawing on a stack of bound paper. Tifa just stood in her doorway for a moment, toothbrush still in her mouth, wet hair tied up in a turban on her head.
So this was what it had come to.
Finally, she found the words. "Is that—"
"Yup." He replied swiftly, not looking up from the peanut butter jar.
"And you're just—" She gave an absent gesture.
"Uh huh." He pulled a lump of thick peanut butter out on the stick.
"Oh…okay." She bobbed her head once and went back into her room.
After rinsing out her mouth and putting her toothbrush away, she returned to the living room.
"Why?" She lifted an eyebrow.
"Ran out of beer." He said, nibbling on the lump of peanut butter.
"Ran out—" She noticed the pyramid of cans on the countertop. "Leon, it's five in the morning."
"Been working since six yesterday afternoon…This is my happy hour." He grunted, working his jaw around the stuff.
Tifa rolled her eyes and picked up the top can from the pyramid, reading the label. "This isn't even GOOD beer. Where did you get this?"
"Bought it, silly." He mumbled, legs stretched out on the floor, popsicle stick in his mouth.
She stepped over Duke, who was busy shredding the paper file to ribbons, and peeked in the fridge. All of their bottled beer was gone.
"How much did you…never mind. I don't even want to know." She closed the fridge and walked back into the living room. "Six o'clock huh?"
"Still on shift, actually." He gave a little half-giggle.
Now that was just wrong.
"What was it this time?" She prompted, taking her hair down and combing her fingers through the wet tangles.
He grunted something unintelligible around a mouthful of peanut butter.
She chuckled and looked over to Duke. The red-golden retriever had turned roughly a fourth of the file into confetti, and she was working hard to make it a round half. Leon gave a weak hiccup and groaned, plucking the stick out of his mouth. Looking nauseated, he set the jar down on the floor and tilted his head back against the recliner.
"You're drunk." She said flatly.
"And you're stupid." He reproached.
"Oh, very clever." She put her hands on her hips briefly before taking pity on him and offering a hand. "Can you stand up?"
"No." He sounded like a petulant five year old.
She sighed, "Well, will you try? I'm trying to get ready for work and you sitting there eating like a fatty on the floor is not helping."
He still didn't look at her, though some color reached his cheeks, so at least he had the decency to be embarrassed for himself. Still, he looked entirely too…relaxed…It was unnerving. Chewing the side of her lip, she looked at the clock. She wasn't due to show up at the construction site for another hour. That might not be long enough.
"Sorry." He mumbled, picking at a fray on his gloves.
She chuckled and glanced sideways, spotting a second peanut butter jar, completely empty, scraped clean by a popsicle stick.
"Geez…" She looked back to Leon. "That is NOT healthy."
He hiccupped again and made a pained noise, rubbing his side from peanut butter overload.
"What happened? Must have been a doozy." She tried to pry it out of him.
Leon shook his head slowly, stopping when it made the world slosh around him. "No."
Drunk off his ass and still a stubborn bastard, she sighed, starting the coffee maker for herself and handing him a glass of water to wash down that jar and a half.
"Why not?" She pressed.
"Because you're Tifa." As if it was the most obvious reason in the world.
She laughed, "Yes, Tifa, the closest thing you have to a confidante. And you're Leon, the stubborn jackass."
He took a short sip of the water and finally lifted his eyes to her. "Why are you doing this?"
She dismantled the beer can pyramid into a recycling bag. "Because Radiant Garden needs to go green."
"No." Leon waved one hand lazily. "Why are you doing…all of this?" He gestured between them.
Tifa tilted her head, "Doing what?"
He gave a long suffering sigh and looked at her seriously. "Trying to be my friend."
She started to laugh at the absurdity of that statement, but choked it back when she saw he was serious. "I thought I already was. I'm just 'trying' now? I've been demoted?"
He looked down at his hands. "I don't know…"
Her eyebrows furrowed in slight concern. "Does it bother you?"
His head shot up and he looked at her. "What?"
"Well…" She shifted from foot to foot. "Do you want me to stop? Does this—" she mimicked his earlier gesture. "—make you uncomfortable or something?"
"No." He quickly replied, sitting up slightly. "No, no, not like—no. It's just…" He averted his eyes again, "I don't get it. What are you getting out of this?"
"As of right now, confusion." She folded her arms, looking at him seriously. "What's going on with you? It's worrying me."
"See?" He pointed at her. "Why do you do that?"
She blinked. "What?"
"That!"
"What?"
"The—" He gestured in a random circle at her. "—that!"
Tifa looked at him like he was insane. "…What?"
"Oh forget it." He reached for the peanut butter jar again.
"I think you're done." She leaned over, taking the jar instead.
He watched her without fighting for it, just let his hand fall to the floor. "I'm done."
The utterly defeated tone of his voice made her stop. Tifa swallowed and set the jar on the counter before turning back around, sinking down to sit on the floor opposite Leon.
"Tell me what's going on." She demanded, disguising it as a request.
He gave a half-hearted shrug. "I'm done. I quit."
She lifted her palms. "Care to specify?"
He just cast a sidelong glance to the file that Duke had turned into her chew toy. Tifa followed his line of sight and lifted an eyebrow.
"Radiant Garden reconstruction efforts? Yeah, and I'm about to quit breathing." She tutted.
"No…I'm done with…" He trailed off in his own thoughts.
She watched him for a moment and hugged one knee to her chest, stretching the other leg out. "Cheap beer is no way to quit something."
Leon looked at her. She could see a long winded, deeply rooted rant ready to unleash Cain behind those eyes, and the alcohol was quickly diluting the chains holding that rant in control. Hour or no hour, she could wait for that rant.
"You really…There's no…I don't…" He fidgeted, not looking at her directly.
"Spit it out." She cuffed her hand across his boot.
"Why are you doing this?"
Like a broken record.
Tifa looked him in the eyes until he returned the gaze. "Doing what? The friend thing?"
"Y-yeah." He looked uncertain. "I mean…What are you getting out of this?"
"Who says I have to 'get something' out of it?" She narrowed her good eye.
"Because…that's…how it works." He shrugged.
"You think…" She tried to jump on his mind track. "Leon, I'm not using you for anything."
He made a cynical noise and took another drink of water.
"I'm not." She repeated. "Are you using me for something?"
"No."
"Then what spurred this?" She lifted her hands.
"I don't know." He closed his eyes and leaned sideways, sinking in slow motion to his side on the floor. "I just feel weird…"
"It's all the beer and peanut butter." She said lightly, then grew serious again. "Did it ever occur to you that we're friends because we just get along?"
He grunted incoherently.
"Besides," She attempted to lighten the mood. "you just nearly plowed through two jars of peanut butter with a popsicle stick. What could I possibly be using you for?"
"Cloud." It was quiet, barely audible, but it echoed in the space between them.
Tifa sat up a little straighter, defenses creeping back to alert. "What?"
He mumbled something, but it was incoherent.
"Hey." She poked his leg. "You don't get to bring HIM up and then shut me out."
"Yes I do."
"No you don't."
"It's called Asshole Privilege."
"Well, you've got the 'asshole' part down pat." She said, climbing to her feet.
This was thoroughly irritating. She should have known better than to try and have a serious, emotional conversation with Leon. The man was allergic to talking about himself and anything that was bothering him, really bothering him. And you poke a bear enough, it'll take a swipe at you. Now she just felt stupid for thinking, even sleep-deprived and drunk, that Leon would open up about anything.
With a huff, she started into the kitchen and nearly tripped over the dog.
"Guh, Duke." She reprimanded, reaching down and snatching up what was left of the file.
Paper bits were scattered all over the tile, stuck together by dog saliva.
"I'm not cleaning this up." She glared at Leon, who hadn't moved.
Exasperated, she carried the mess of the file to the trash can, glancing down at it as she lifted the can lid. She paused mid-toss, holding the file at arms' length for a moment. The manila folder was completely unmarked on the cover…All of the Radiant Garden files were labelled…Frowning, she began to toss it again when her eyes snagged on the upper right corner, which had barely escaped Duke's assault.
Two letters.
RH.
She froze.
The apartment fell still with her. Even Duke stopped her perpetually wagging tail, looking up at Tifa with eyes that said 'oh no you didn't'. Tifa's jaw locked, back turned to Leon as she faced the trash can, the mutilated batch of papers mocking her from her hand.
Drawing in a slow breath, she replaced the lid on the trash can and carried the papers over to the counter, avoiding Leon's eyes, though her peripheral revealed he was staring at his boots. She set them on the counter top and busied herself with the coffee maker, pouring herself a mug. She nursed the steaming liquid for a long minute.
Well, that explained the drinking…and the increase in surliness…
Feeling like a royal jerk, she chanced a quick glance at him. He was still lying on the floor, head pillowed on one arm, eyes glazed and unfocused on the legs of the chairs around the table. She looked back to her coffee, ignoring the scolding hands of the clock on the wall. Duke looked at her pointedly, licking her nose. Tifa sighed and closed her eyes briefly, walking out from behind the counter, standing in the entrance to the living room.
"I'm sorry." She said softly. "I didn't know that's what was…" She saw the shredded paper out of the corner of her eye. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Dumb question, but better a dumb question asked and unanswered than a dumb question unasked and the answer ambiguous…Whatever that meant. Shaking her head briefly, she didn't move any closer, wrong footed and unwilling to poke the bear again, now that she knew why he was so messed up at the moment.
"I'm…I'm just done." He sounded impossibly small and defeated.
Tifa swallowed. Leon should never sound like that. It killed her inside.
But she couldn't ignore the empathy that bubbled up in her chest.
Setting the steaming coffee on the table, she picked up the peanut butter jar and wordlessly offered it to him. A brief flicker of amusement flashed in his eyes and he took the offering, sliding the coated popsicle stick out and getting back to work on it.
And maybe that was enough for now.
Tifa bit the corner of her lip and leaned back into the kitchen, taking a fresh jar of grape jelly out of the fridge and snatching a spoon out of the clean dishes piled on the sink counter. Slipping fully into the living room, she sank back to her sitting position across from him.
"How done?" She asked lightly, twisting the lid off the jar.
He was quiet for a moment, staring hard at her knee. "Completely." He said after a long minute.
"I…find that hard to believe." She said gently, working the spoon into the jar. "Ten years—"
"Twelve."
"Twelve years is a long time. I know you better than you'd like me to, and I know that letting go isn't a one-step process." She grimaced. "Are you sure?"
Leon looked lost in his thoughts for a moment. "Yes." He inhaled. "If I haven't found anything—and I haven't found anything—in twelve years…I just…I don't see anything ever…being found. Rin—She's gone."
The confession was almost a whimper and Tifa physically flinched at the broken tone.
He exhaled in a rush and ran a quick hand over his face. "Oh…what are the odds of you forgetting about this tomorrow?"
Tifa smiled trepidly. "You're the one who polished off a six-pack, not me." Lips flattening, she nudged her foot against his leg. "Are you okay?"
Leon didn't answer immediately, eying the rim of the peanut butter jar. "No."
She bobbed her head, chewing on a spoonful of grape jelly before swallowing it. "At least you aren't a liar." Staring hard at the jar for a moment, she added, "But if a hangover makes you forget about this morning…I'll play along."
A flash of gratitude peeked out from under the drunken glaze in his eyes and he pulled the popsicle stick out of his mouth.
She offered a tiny grin and made no motion to get up, finish getting ready, and go to work.
A minute passed slowly by.
"Maybe we should get some bread." She said after a moment. "Make a proper sandwich." She eyed the grape jelly jar in her hands.
He grunted and set the peanut butter down. "You're late."
She looked up at the clock. Yep. She was supposed to be at the construction station half an hour ago. She briefly wondered how much longer Leon was supposed to have been on shift. Crinkling her nose for a moment, she licked the sticky purple grape jelly from her fingers and crossed one leg over the other at the ankle.
Leaving him in this state was not an option, and it had been a while since she had a day off anyway. They both deserved a day away from all that mess after all. They had their own messes to deal with. As was evidenced by Leon's near-fetal position. She was still waiting for that rant, too.
Tifa looked back at him and shrugged.
"Screw it."