Aslan watched – always. He saw Susan's troubles as she returned to England for the second time. He watched as she began to deny Narnia to her siblings, but never truly strayed from him. And he wondered – was sending her back really the best choice?
-
Susan's eyes watered. She had been looking for Lucy when she, quite by chance, found a painting of Aslan. Lucy always had been a brilliant painter, so the portrait was perfect. Every hair, every whisker was perfect.
The door opened behind her. Susan jumped, dropping the painting and whirling around. Lucy stood in the open doorway.
"Su?" Lucy asked. Her eyes flittered to the painting. "Why were you - ?"
"It's a nice painting." Susan said, stiffly. She angrily brushed a stray tear off her cheek.
"Susan," Lucy began hesitantly. "Are you lying when you say that you think Narnia is a game?"
"Of course not." Lie. It disappointed Susan. Did they really think she could forget fifteen years of her life? Her first love? "Narnia is just a figment of your imagination, Lu. You need to start living in the real world."
Lucy glowered slightly. "You can't really expect me to believe that. Not after I find you crying over a painting of Aslan."
"I had something in my eye," Susan defended. "And I wasn't crying."
Lucy sighed. "What were you doing in my room anyway?"
"I was looking for you," Susan replied. "Would you like to come shopping with me tomorrow?"
Lucy nodded eagerly. "When?"
"Just after lunch."
Susan made her way out of the room. She entered her room and sat down on the bed. Now she let herself cry, with heaving sobs.
She recalled, as she did so often, her first trip to Narnia. She recalled the beavers, who helped them to Aslan's camp. She remembered the dryads that had befriended her there. She recalled the battle, the coronation, and the years she reigned as a Queen.
Then she remembered, as she always did, the second trip to Narnia. She remembered the pain of seeing Cair Paravel in ruins. She remembered saving Trumpkin, leaving the island, finding Caspian, and fighting the telemarines. She remembered the most painful memory of all – the kiss.
Her sobs must have been loud, because the door opened slightly and Lucy's head popped in. She quickly made her way to the bed, and put an arm around Susan. "Oh, Su, what's wrong?" she asked her sister.
"I – I," Susan tried. Her resolve failed her, and words began to spill out. "I miss them. I miss all of them. I miss the beavers, Tumnus, Corin, Aravis, Trumpkin, Trufflehunter, Caspian and Aslan. Why can't I go back? What did I do wrong?"
"You did nothing wrong. You did it all right," Lucy said, hugging her.
"Then why?"
"You were too old. You couldn't travel across the worlds anymore."
"I could have stayed there."
"I'm so sorry, Su."
"I've tried to hate him, you know. For making me love him," Susan whispered. "But I can't."
"Of course you can't. Love makes hate impossible," Lucy said.
Susan wiped away her tears, seeing a chance to help revive their old bond. "You know from experience?" They'd always teased each other.
Lucy blushed. "Of course not."
"Well, how did you know, then?"
"…Guess?"
Susan giggled. "That excuse is so lame, Lu."
"I know," Lucy replied. The two girls burst into laughter.
When the laughter died down, Susan said, "Please Lucy, don't tell the boys about this. It's easier just to pretend."
Lucy nodded. "Okay, Susan. I promise you."
Susan smiled. "Thank you, Lu."
A/n: EXPLANATION TIME! So, I was watching Prince Caspian – hence the movie reference – and I was close to crying at the end, knowing what happens to poor old Su. Anyway, I really didn't think someone can just forget 15 years of their life. And I noticed Lucy – correct me if I'm wrong – kept quiet during the conversation about Susan during The Last Battle. So, tah-dah!
By the way, if you think I should, I may come up with a plot for this. :D