SUGGESTED AUDIO PAIRING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Juke Box Hero; by (Foreigner)
Rock n' Roll Creation:
(In The Beginning…)
"Can you PLEASE do that somewhere else?" a stray spark-spray missed Cordelia's head by an inch and her hair frizzed from the static. (Did Miriel have any idea how long it took her to look presentable for Lord Chrom?)
"The equipment has already been calibrated. Relocating at this juncture would yield anomalous results and compromise the integrity of the experiment."
"God's Miriel; what did the poor fork ever do to you?" As far as Stahl was concerned, silverware was for attacking dinner plates. And breakfast plates. And…
KERRR-ZAPPPP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP!
Ricken blasted Chrom's fine cutlery with thunder, and Miriel scribbled something in her journal.
"The fork conducts the energy produced by the spell. The candelabra does not. Fascinating…"
"It's because the fork is made of silver and the candelabra is made of granite, right?" Ricken guessed.
"The ability to conduct the energy appears to be a metallurgical property. But why?" Miriel wondered. "What is the property of metal that makes it so? Does it vary among metals? Are there non-metals capable of displaying the same property?"
"We are TRYING to make music here!" teaching Stahl his part for their upcoming duet was hard enough when shocks weren't flying every which way. One spark-spray to the face was an accident; two was—as Sully might say—a damned nuisance.
"Perhaps you should relocate?" Miriel suggested.
"You're in the concert hall." Cordelia glared. "Does Chrom know you're destroying his dining set?"
"…Unimportant…" Miriel attached her equipment to a ceramic vase and Ricken blasted it to bits.
"Stop doing that," Cordelia warned.
"This is for science."
"Can't we all just get along?" Stahl tried to play the peacemaker. Nervously, he plucked at his strings.
"Your partner's lack of appreciation for empirical study is bothersome," Miriel readied a glass punchbowl, and Cordelia gave her a stern Do not do what you are thinking about doing.
KERRR-ZAPPPP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP!
Ricken overcharged the spell and sent forth another spray of wild bolts. One such bolt struck Stahl's instrument; still in use….
"What was that magical sound?" Cordelia was instantly pacified.
"Running energy through the strings appears to alter their auditory properties." This result was unexpected, but not unwelcome. "A resonant vibration phenomenon," Miriel hypothesized. "Or perhaps…"
"Do it again!" Cordelia and Stahl demanded, as one.
Ricken struck the harp and Stahl strummed out a new sound. Cordelia swooned, Miriel gasped, and Ricken's jaw dropped.
Stahl has just played Ylisse's first Power Chord.
"…Do hers now…" Stahl was a rank amateur compared to Cordelia, and he knew it. If he could coax out that kind of sound, she could…
…Ricken struck Cordelia's harp, and if Stahl could play Cordelia could shred. Verily; the solo she ripped was worthy of Zack Wylde.
"…by the gods…" Ricken dropped to his knees and bowed.
"…I-Its beautiful…" Stahl wept for joy.
"…A query…" Miriel's intuition perked. "What do you suppose would happen if we were to explore the form and function of this sound while imbibing the mushrooms that grow behind the castle?"
"The ones that Chrom told us to never, ever, ever eat?" Stahl had tried once, and the prince could not have been more explicit in his warnings to do no such thing.
"Correct."
"Why would we do that?" Ricken was confused.
"I hypothesize that if we combine the effects of the mushroom with the production of the sound, both will be augmented by a synergistic effect," Miriel explained.
"I have newfound respect for your hypotheses. Let it be so!" Cordelia approved.
And so they partook of the mushroom and tripped major balls and jammed a great jam.
It occurred to Ricken that percussionary pounding was a natural pair to Stahl's use of the Thunder Harp (which Miriel would later redesign and rename GUITAR), and so was born the marriage of drum and bass.
Miriel discovered that she could create reverbs and delay loops by mixing the jam through a swirl of Wilderwind, and thus was born the sound of psychedelic rock.
Cordelia discovered that she need not spend another day pining for Prince Charming; she was a Rockstar. Let the princes pine for her, and she would deny them.
"People need to know about this," Stahl decided. "This will change the world."
"The sound is incomplete." Miriel cautioned. "Something is missing."
"What's missing?" Cordelia could think of nothing.
"…I don't know…" Miriel admitted.
"…I think I've got it…" trippy Ricken had another flash of psychedelic brilliance.
And then they were off to The Lady's quarters.
"Maribelle. Piano. NOW!"
Maribelle squealed a most unladylike squeal as Ricken and Miriel and Stahl and Cordelia burst into her room without so much as a knock on the door.
"How DARE you enter without announcing yourselves!? I could have been…"
"Just play something on the piano!" Ricken ignored her outrage. Stahl and Cordelia opened the top of her Grand Classic, and Miriel prepped a thunder tome.
"Are you on DRUGS!?" Maribelle shouted.
"…unimportant…" Ricken answered. "Just play something. Anything."
Maribelle did not understand. But she played.
KERRR-ZAPPPP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP-ZAP! Miriel struck the piano with thunder.
"…Play it again…" Ricken instructed.
If Maribelle wasn't such a proper lady she would have squealed anew; the sound was like an orgasm to the ears. Maribelle has just discovered Electric Keyboard.
"…Together now…" Ricken pounded out a beat and Stahl strummed a bass line. Maribelle joined in with keyboard improv and Cordelia carried it home.
"…Perfection…" Miriel applauded, and all agreed. It was time to take their sound to the people.
"This is soooo good," Maribelle was awestruck.
"This is better than good." Ricken had spent too much time around Miriel to describe so monumental an achievement with so simple a word. But a suitable turn-of-phrase escaped him. "Miriel; what's the word for how good this is?"
"...There is no word…" Miriel realized. "We must create a new one. Or we must give new meaning to an old one. This is…" for once in her life, Miriel was at a loss for descriptive language.
"…This is…" Ricken was stumped.
"…This is…" Maribelle had nothing.
"This ROCKS!" later Cordelia could not recall why of all words, that was the one that came to mind. But it just felt right.
"We ROCK!" Stahl approved.
"Let there by RAwWwWwK!" Miriel played with the phonetics of the word in a most rockin' manner, and made a mental note to invent the microphone.
So begins the legend of Thunder Harp. The band that saved the halidom and vanquished the fel dragon; not by might and not by force of arms. But with the power of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll.