WORDLOCKED
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Summary: Someone messes with the autocorrect on John's phone.
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Need you to milk me. J
What? SH
You milk me. J
John, what? SH
SHIP. J
SHIFT. J
AAAAAA. J.
Y? J
Okay. SH
Fuckin' auto erection. J
Auto ERECT. J
AUTO. J
CORRECT. J
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. J
CAN. J
U. J
GET. J
MILK. J
Yes. SH
Are you okay? SH
Are you having some kind of episode? SH
Should I be even mildly concerned? SH
I'm throwing this phone up. J
*out. J
Duck. J
Can I just call you? J
Lestrade just called. He says he has a cake for you. J
*Case. J
There's no cake. J
The cake is a lie. J
Mycroft will be disappointed. SH
Pity. Anything interesting? SH
Bead woman. J
*Dead. J
I mate this phone. J
Fuck. J
You know what I mean. J
You should probably just call me. SH
You should come. J
Home, I mean. J
You should come home. J
Where are you?
Out. SH
A little major general, Sherlock. J
*A little less general. J
Be more spicy. J
*Specific. J
I thought you got rid of the phone. SH
This one's doing it to. J
It must be you then. SH
You're cursed. SH
OOOOOOOOH. SH
Your dick. J
What about it? SH
*You're a dick. J
Oh. SH
Why? SH
Sarah just told me you broke her cat. J
*Broke into her flat. J
FUCK. J
Why does your phone keep doing that? SH
? J
That thing. SH
IDK. DOES. NOT. FEEL. SAFE. TO. TYPE. J
Where've you gone? SH
Porn shopping. J
DAMN. J
*Phone shopping. J
I thought so. SH
The victim has a pet, in case you're interested. Some kind of erotic bird. J
*Exotic bird. J
The bird isn't erotic. J
I'm not attracted to birds. J
Whatever you say. It's all fine. SH
Sherlock, why is the bid in our flat? J
*Bird. J
It's owner's dead, John. It needed somewhere to stay. SH
Fine. Whatever. Just make sure it doesn't kiss anything. J
*PISS ON ANYTHING. J
I'll get this fixed eventually. J
I'm sure you will. SH
I love you. J
Okay. I love you to. SH
*I'm above you. I'm standing on the balcony. J
Wait, what? J
Never mind. SH