Jacob's Story
Looking back later, I realized it had truly been the happiest I had ever been. So, stupidly, I settled into enjoy it instead of remaining vigilant, watching for whatever was going to happen to screw it all up. Something always does, you see.
Having gone through my own personal hell in the months leading up to that moment, I was completely unprepared for how happy the birth of one tiny little baby would make me. Sure, I had to get past that first 'gonna-go-downstairs-and-kill-it' reaction that immediately filled my head after seeing my former best friend and unrequited love interest die a gruesome and devastating death, but after that…. Yep, one look into those gorgeous brown eyes and I was hooked. Literally, I imprinted and felt the sensation of a million steel cables clamping onto me, connecting me eternally and inextricably to the new center of my world. In that instant, I knew why I'd had to go through everything I had to get to this point. She was the new center of my world, the force behind every beat of my heart, and the one being I would, without question, kill or die for. I finally knew and understood what love was.
After some initial awkwardness (Ed and Bella both wanting to kill me, for example), the Cullens accepted my imprint, knowing that I would care for Nessie like no other, that I would gladly give my life for her, and that I would always be just exactly what she needed me to be, no more and no less. I spent everyday caring for her. At first, holding and rocking her, feeding her and changing diapers, reading her stories and letting her amaze me with her gift for showing her thoughts. As she grew, so did my role in her life. I spent my days making blanket forts in her room, attending tea parties with her aunts, coaxing her to hunt and drink animal blood when no one else could, and being the best friend she needed in her overly protective family. I so completely devoted myself to that little girl, neglecting my family, my pack and pretty much anything else, that I missed some signs I should have seen. Things like Bella's increasing grumbling that Nessie enjoyed wrestling in the woods with me more than cooking lessons with her, or Edwards displeasure with how I included Nessie in our pack football games on First Beach and let her drive my car on back roads. No matter how irritated Edward or Bella got though, I never ever imagined that they would do to me what they did.
Current Day
EPOV
"Alice, Rosalie – almost ready to go?" I asked, for the 2nd time that morning. Of course, we were waiting on those two to finish getting dressed, intent as they always were to make a big impact at the new school we were starting today. It would be nice just once to be able to blend in and not be the subject of every other student's thoughts and conversations every time we had to go through this. However, with us being who, and more importantly what we were, that was not to happen. My sister's attitude seemed to be 'if you can't change it, might as well have fun with it'.
They finally descended from their rooms, dressed more appropriately for fashion week in Milan than for starting school in the sleepy little northern Wisconsin town we'd settled in. I cringed in anticipation of the stares and comments we were soon to be subjected to.
"Relax, Edward…we've been through this a time or two. We won't be late", Alice admonished, giving Rosalie a knowing grin.
"Renesmee, sweetie, you look lovely" I cooed to my daughter, trying to quell the anxiety she was feeling at attending school with us for the first time, her first time really being out in the world away from our protective bubble. She had begged for the chance to go, now that her rapid aging had stopped and she would forever look as she did now, a breathtakingly beautiful 17 year old woman. Ugh, it felt wrong, repulsive even to be using that word about my little girl who had only been with us for 8 short years. However, that was what she was; a woman with the physical presence of a teenager and the intellect of someone with several advanced degrees.
"Thanks, dad", she replied quietly. Although she'd been practicing for the last few years on how to hide her thoughts from me, with help from her mother, I thought unhappily, it didn't take a mind reader to realize she was worried. Having finally acquiesced to her pleas to be treated like the adult she mentally was and be allowed some freedom, I could see she was now rethinking her decision.
"I saw you didn't eat much of the breakfast Esme made you, aren't you hungry this morning?" I asked her. She just shook her head, holding her stomach lightly.
"Have you at least hunted lately?"
"Yes, Uncle Jasper took me out last night while you and mom were in town".
"Ok, it looks like everyone is ready, should we go?"
Bella, Renesmee and I headed outside where Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett had already congregated; bickering over which vehicles we would be going in. Of course, Rosalie wanted to take the bright red Ferrari, the showiest vehicle in the garage. 'Way to try blending in', I thought.
Not to be deterred (when did she ever not get her way?), Rose and Emmett left on their own. The rest of us piled into Bella's slightly more subdued Cadillac Escalade and started down the driveway. I felt Jasper sending out some calming waves toward Renesmee, and I flashed him a grateful look in the rearview mirror. He smiled back and said "So, darlin', what are you thinking about this morning, you're awful quiet".
Renesmee just shrugged and muttered that she was worried about slipping up in front of anyone. The truth was, she was pretty quiet all the time now. She rarely shared her thoughts without being asked for them, and seemed to prefer solitary activities like reading, music and writing her stories. Not that she was antisocial, she would happily participate in family activities when asked, and enjoyed days spent shopping, going to movies and hanging out with her mother and aunts. But when left to her own devices, she usually chose solitude. Not at all like the little girl she used to be a few years back, when her endless curiosity and unquenchable spirit seemed to radiate from her, when she kept up an almost constant stream of comments and questions about the world around her, amusing us all with her observations. Deep down, I had an idea why things had changed, thought I'd never admit it to anyone, much less myself, really. Instead, I vowed every day to do everything I could to give her the best, most fulfilled life I could. We visited museums, attended symphonies, soaked up as much culture as possible in all the places we'd lived and read and discussed all the great pieces of literature in Carlisle's massive library. She could play numerous instruments to perfection, and spoke 5 languages fluently. Yet the spark she once had never flickered quite as brightly any more.
"Ok, we're almost there, let's go over our story one last time" I prompted. Renesmee caught my eye, and with a little sigh and the slightest of eye rolls, she began reciting.
"You and I are siblings, adopted by our uncle Carlisle when our parents were killed in a car accident. Jasper and Rosalie are Esme's niece and nephew, adopted last year when her sister died of breast cancer. Mom moved in because her mother was being treated by Carlisle and passed away – he knew she had no other relatives and filed papers to become her guardian. Alice and Emmett were adopted through the foster care system because they were getting too old to be adoptable and the social worker knew of Carlisle and Esme, knew they were good people and would open their arms to them". Remembering the story isn't the part I'm worried about, dad…. What I'm concerned about is being around all those other kids, wondering if they realize how different I am. What if I can't make any friends? What if I let something slip?"
"Just try to relax, honey…I know you're nervous and that's perfectly normal. Remember that you know how to do this and that everything will be fine. You're kind and loving and so sweet…people will realize that and want to be your friend, just you wait and see".
"I hope so", she muttered, almost silently.
BPOV
All morning I could tell that Renesmee was anxious. I knew that starting school out in the world for the first time would be distressing for her, how could it not? We'd kept her essentially isolated for nearly all of her short life, homeschooling her in every conceivable subject till she was as well-versed as Edward himself. Occasional trips out into the community, shopping, spa days and the like were fun for her, but all they really did was underscore just how much actual living she was missing out on. After all we'd been through since her birth, I understood the obvious dangers in exposing her to humans before she was ready, and even agreed with Edward to a point in his obsessive need to keep her safe. I knew that keeping her safe wasn't his only motive however, though he would never acknowledge any deeper objectives. I knew how it pained him that her time as a child was so short, but couldn't understand how he didn't realize that every minute we had with her was a miracle, and that at some point, we'd have to let her go to live her own life. Though our intentions were nothing but loving, deep down I feared the damage we may have done through some of the decisions we made, all the while telling ourselves that they were in her best interests.
RPOV
I sat in the car, half listening to my parents and aunt and uncle discussing the new school and half wondering if I'd really be able to be successful there. I was entering school as a junior, since I looked like I was 17 or 18 years old and Carlisle felt I couldn't reasonably pass for younger. Alice would also be a junior with me, so that I could have someone in most of my classes with me, and everyone else would be a senior. I knew the classwork would be a breeze because of my extensive home schooling, but the social aspect scared me to death, well, scared me a lot anyway… I really had no idea how to interact with kids this age. I felt like I was about to take the most important test of my life and hadn't been given the right material to study. I also knew that a lot was riding on this particular adventure we were embarking upon. As usual, no one actually told me anything, but I'd overheard enough snippets of conversations between dad and grandpa to know that we wouldn't be able to move again for awhile and that it was imperative that we fit in and not make any waves in school or our community. As usual, the reasons for this were a mystery to me, but I could pick up on enough to grasp that it was really serious.
As excited as I thought I had been for this day, if I was really being honest with myself, I'd admit that it was just a desire for something new in my life that pushed me to want to go. Something to quash the sense of emptiness that was ever present in my life. It wasn't anything I ever spoke of, no one would understand anyway, but the ache was always there. Part of me remembered when it wasn't, but that was also something that wasn't spoken of in our house. I knew my family well enough to know that anything unpleasant or deemed 'unnecessary to trouble me with' was quickly dispensed with - subject changed, Renesmee distracted, other activities planned, every time. It had happened enough that no matter the suspiciously pitying looks I caught now and then from Aunt Alice or Uncle Emmet or how old I actually was now, I resigned myself to the way things were.
I'd never had a problem being around humans as far as my thirst went; I had been hunting animals since I was a few weeks old, and never craved human blood. Plus, I ate most human foods, and could go nearly a month between hunts before I really needed to find some unsuspecting elk or mountain lion to sink my teeth into. I had no problem being around my Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue, and I'd been interacting with humans on all our vacations and day trips as long as I could remember.
Too soon, dad was announcing that we were here and reminding us to stick to our stories and make this work. As we stepped out of the truck and walked toward the office, I immediately felt unnerved by the obvious stares of our classmates. Mom and Aunt Alice put their hands on my shoulders and whispered comforting words to me, but I barely comprehended them. I was too focused on the butterflies in my stomach and the possible ramifications of vomiting on my shoes vs. running screaming in terror from the building. Unable to choose, I decided that neither would really be good, and resolved to make it through the day. I would say as little as possible and simply observe all that went on around me, kind of like a sociological experiment.
Dad thrust my schedule in my hand and informed me that I had at least one of us in every class throughout the day until gym, where he, mom, uncle Emmet and Aunt Rosalie were all with me. Even though they were seniors, the school that we were attending was so small that freshmen joined with sophomores, and juniors joined with seniors for gym.