A/N: Another Everwood fic. This one was inspired by "Blind Faith". The
title comes from the episode where Ephram writes Amy a song instead of
giving her flowers at her dance recital. It is French for "This is not a
Bouquet (of Flowers)". For those who don't know about that episode, Ephram
writes the song after Amy tells him that Colin used to get her flowers
every year. It will tie into the story! Also, don't worry, I'll update the
other story, I just feel like writing this. It takes place right after the
wedding. So enjoy. And review!
Ceci N'est Pas un Bouquet
Ephram nervously approached the Abbott's front door. He hesitated a little, glancing down at his dress shoes and suit, remembering their conversation earlier that day at the wedding. He looked back up and knocked. He took a deep breath as the door opened.
"Hey buddy." Bright greeted. "What's up?"
"Hi." Ephram returned. "I need to.can I talk to Amy?"
"Yeah, sure." Bright replied. "I think she's just changing. I'll get her." He turned to head up the stairs but paused. "Are you alright man?"
"What? Yeah." Ephram remarked. "Fine."
"Ok." Bright replied. "Amy, its for you!" he called.
"Be right down!"
She threw a sweatshirt on and proceeded downstairs. "Ephram." She remarked, noticing him standing in the front hall.
"Hey." He replied. "My Dad was going back to Reverend Keyes's, so he let me drive home. Wanna go for a ride?" he asked, holding up the keys to his father's SUV.
"Uh..." Amy started.
"I'll tell Mom and Dad where you are if they come back from Reverend Keyes's." Bright offered. "Go ahead." He urged.
"Ok, sure." Amy grabbed her coat and followed Ephram to the driveway. Both got in and Ephram started the car and backed out. They headed down the street.
"I can't believe your Dad let you drive his car." Amy remarked, "Especially after your license debacle."
"Hey, I got it didn't I?" Ephram replied, defensively. "And to tell you the truth, he probably wasn't thinking straight. I think he had a few champagnes too many."
"My parents too." Amy nodded. "My father in particular."
"What was the tip-off?" Ephram joked. "Him getting up and singing along to The Electric Slide?"
Amy laughed, recalling her father's drunken rendition of the wedding classic. "Yeah. It was pretty fun, huh?" she remarked. "The wedding, I mean."
"Most of it." Ephram agreed.
Amy realized what he meant. "Look, Ephram.."
Ephram stopped her. "No. I need to tell you something. Well, a lot of somethings. So before you start again, just hear me out, ok?"
Amy pursed her lips and nodded. Ephram flicked his directional, pulled over, and turned to face Amy.
"You made me promise you not to let you get in the way of me and someone else." Ephram recalled. "Well you are."
"Ephram, I'm sorry."
"You are getting in the way of you and me, Amy." Ephram explained.
"What?" Amy asked, confused.
"This isn't you, Amy, this isn't the girl I met when I came to Everwood. It's some warped version of her, and she's getting in the way of potentially good things." Ephram replied. "I always admired you because you were determined, and focused, and you didn't take no for an answer. But now, now you're defeated and you've given up. You're not even trying to get better. I know that you're hurting, and I understand that your life is never going to be the same, but what you have right now, its not a life. It's an existence. You're like a machine, you just go through the motions, you don't let yourself feel anything but grief. It's ok to move on Amy. Colin will always be with you, but its ok to move on. I'm not saying these things because I want you to run to me, or anyone else for that matter. Colin died, not you. You're still alive Amy, you're still living. You need to understand that."
Silent tears ran down Amy's face.
"Look, I'm sorry, it sounded a little less harsh in my head." Ephram sighed.
"No." Amy shook her head. "You're right. You're always right, and I don't know how, or why. But you're right. I'm stuck in this gap right now, between losing him, and letting him go, and I'm ready. I'm ready to let go, and move on, but I know in my heart that if Colin were still here..."
"Amy, he's not." Ephram replied, echoing what Bright had told her days before.
"I don't want you to feel like a second choice." Amy stated, bluntly.
"I never meant it like that. I don't feel like Colin's replacement." Ephram assured her. "I don't know why he's gone, and I'm here. Call it fate, destiny, whatever. Life isn't about a first or second choice. It's about what happens. You think I imagined myself here? I mean, what if my mom hadn't died? I never would have moved to Everwood, and I never would have met you. I didn't plan on you becoming a part of my life, but you did. And if I had stayed in New York, you wouldn't be, and my life would be different. Not better, not worse, just different. I know that you will never think of me like you thought of Colin, but that's good. I'm not Colin, I'm not trying to be Colin. You and I have a different relationship than you and him. Look, Amy, I have feelings for you. I think you know that by now, but in case you didn't, I do. And I may be completely off base here, but I think you feel something for me. All I'm saying is don't let the 'what ifs' keep you from acting on it. If you're worried about hurting me, don't be."
"Ephram, you're right." Amy told him. "I do have feelings for you. I'm not 100 percent sure of what they are exactly, but I have a pretty good idea. And I want to find out, but I don't want you to feel responsible for me, for protecting me. I don't want to be your burden."
"My burden?" Ephram exclaimed. "Amy, you are the polar opposite of a burden. Why do you think I get up in the morning, or go to school everyday? It's you; it's because of you. You make things worthwhile for me. As lame as it sounds, you bring meaning to my life."
"It's not lame, Ephram." Amy replied, in a hushed voice. "And I'm flattered." She looked down.
"Is that a good thing?" Ephram asked, lowering his eyes to be level with hers.
She nodded. "Yeah. It's a good thing."
"I'm going to try something now." Ephram informed her. "We've done it a few times before, and so far, it's been good, but if you don't want me to, you can stop me.."
"Ephram, just shut up and kiss me." Amy ordered.
She leaned in and kissed Ephram lightly on the lips. It was short and sweet, and when they pulled back, Amy was smiling. For the first time in a while, it was a genuine smile.
"So does this mean." Ephram started.
"It means that we're taking things slowly, because I want this to last." Amy informed him.
"Still friends?" Ephram asked.
"Always." Amy replied. "And maybe a little more."
Ephram smiled and turned back onto the road towards Amy's house. After a few moments of silence, they arrived back.
Both hopped out of the car and walked towards the doorway.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ham." Amy promised as she went to open the door.
"Goodnight, Ophelia." Ephram replied.
Amy turned around and made a face. "Ophelia?" she asked.
"Yeah, well, I thought maybe you could use a new nickname, you know, between you and me." Ephram explained.
"And you picked Ophelia?" Amy asked, puzzled.
"I was sticking with the Shakespeare theme." He replied. "You started it."
Amy laughed. "True." She thought for a moment. "Wait a sec, wasn't Ophelia the crazy one who ended up drowning? That's awful!"
"Yeah, but Hamlet was in love with her." Ephram replied quietly, looking directly into her eyes.
Amy smiled. Ephram leaned in and kissed her once more, then walked back to the car and drove off.
Amy lingered on the porch for a moment, thinking about what had happened. After a while, she slipped back inside. Bright was leaning against the staircase.
"Amy and Ephram, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" He chanted, making kissy noises.
"Oh grow up." Amy retorted, hitting him as she walked by.
"Oh grow up." Bright mimicked, following her into the kitchen, secretly grateful that his sister was beginning to heal.
Everything was different, but things were starting to get back to normal.
What did you think? Was it good? Should I continue?
In case you didn't understand the relevance of the title, it was to represent that Ephram wasn't trying to replace Colin. Instead of giving her flowers, he wrote her a song. Instead of calling her Grover, he came up with a new nickname. I hope it wasn't too confusing! Thanks guys!
Ephram nervously approached the Abbott's front door. He hesitated a little, glancing down at his dress shoes and suit, remembering their conversation earlier that day at the wedding. He looked back up and knocked. He took a deep breath as the door opened.
"Hey buddy." Bright greeted. "What's up?"
"Hi." Ephram returned. "I need to.can I talk to Amy?"
"Yeah, sure." Bright replied. "I think she's just changing. I'll get her." He turned to head up the stairs but paused. "Are you alright man?"
"What? Yeah." Ephram remarked. "Fine."
"Ok." Bright replied. "Amy, its for you!" he called.
"Be right down!"
She threw a sweatshirt on and proceeded downstairs. "Ephram." She remarked, noticing him standing in the front hall.
"Hey." He replied. "My Dad was going back to Reverend Keyes's, so he let me drive home. Wanna go for a ride?" he asked, holding up the keys to his father's SUV.
"Uh..." Amy started.
"I'll tell Mom and Dad where you are if they come back from Reverend Keyes's." Bright offered. "Go ahead." He urged.
"Ok, sure." Amy grabbed her coat and followed Ephram to the driveway. Both got in and Ephram started the car and backed out. They headed down the street.
"I can't believe your Dad let you drive his car." Amy remarked, "Especially after your license debacle."
"Hey, I got it didn't I?" Ephram replied, defensively. "And to tell you the truth, he probably wasn't thinking straight. I think he had a few champagnes too many."
"My parents too." Amy nodded. "My father in particular."
"What was the tip-off?" Ephram joked. "Him getting up and singing along to The Electric Slide?"
Amy laughed, recalling her father's drunken rendition of the wedding classic. "Yeah. It was pretty fun, huh?" she remarked. "The wedding, I mean."
"Most of it." Ephram agreed.
Amy realized what he meant. "Look, Ephram.."
Ephram stopped her. "No. I need to tell you something. Well, a lot of somethings. So before you start again, just hear me out, ok?"
Amy pursed her lips and nodded. Ephram flicked his directional, pulled over, and turned to face Amy.
"You made me promise you not to let you get in the way of me and someone else." Ephram recalled. "Well you are."
"Ephram, I'm sorry."
"You are getting in the way of you and me, Amy." Ephram explained.
"What?" Amy asked, confused.
"This isn't you, Amy, this isn't the girl I met when I came to Everwood. It's some warped version of her, and she's getting in the way of potentially good things." Ephram replied. "I always admired you because you were determined, and focused, and you didn't take no for an answer. But now, now you're defeated and you've given up. You're not even trying to get better. I know that you're hurting, and I understand that your life is never going to be the same, but what you have right now, its not a life. It's an existence. You're like a machine, you just go through the motions, you don't let yourself feel anything but grief. It's ok to move on Amy. Colin will always be with you, but its ok to move on. I'm not saying these things because I want you to run to me, or anyone else for that matter. Colin died, not you. You're still alive Amy, you're still living. You need to understand that."
Silent tears ran down Amy's face.
"Look, I'm sorry, it sounded a little less harsh in my head." Ephram sighed.
"No." Amy shook her head. "You're right. You're always right, and I don't know how, or why. But you're right. I'm stuck in this gap right now, between losing him, and letting him go, and I'm ready. I'm ready to let go, and move on, but I know in my heart that if Colin were still here..."
"Amy, he's not." Ephram replied, echoing what Bright had told her days before.
"I don't want you to feel like a second choice." Amy stated, bluntly.
"I never meant it like that. I don't feel like Colin's replacement." Ephram assured her. "I don't know why he's gone, and I'm here. Call it fate, destiny, whatever. Life isn't about a first or second choice. It's about what happens. You think I imagined myself here? I mean, what if my mom hadn't died? I never would have moved to Everwood, and I never would have met you. I didn't plan on you becoming a part of my life, but you did. And if I had stayed in New York, you wouldn't be, and my life would be different. Not better, not worse, just different. I know that you will never think of me like you thought of Colin, but that's good. I'm not Colin, I'm not trying to be Colin. You and I have a different relationship than you and him. Look, Amy, I have feelings for you. I think you know that by now, but in case you didn't, I do. And I may be completely off base here, but I think you feel something for me. All I'm saying is don't let the 'what ifs' keep you from acting on it. If you're worried about hurting me, don't be."
"Ephram, you're right." Amy told him. "I do have feelings for you. I'm not 100 percent sure of what they are exactly, but I have a pretty good idea. And I want to find out, but I don't want you to feel responsible for me, for protecting me. I don't want to be your burden."
"My burden?" Ephram exclaimed. "Amy, you are the polar opposite of a burden. Why do you think I get up in the morning, or go to school everyday? It's you; it's because of you. You make things worthwhile for me. As lame as it sounds, you bring meaning to my life."
"It's not lame, Ephram." Amy replied, in a hushed voice. "And I'm flattered." She looked down.
"Is that a good thing?" Ephram asked, lowering his eyes to be level with hers.
She nodded. "Yeah. It's a good thing."
"I'm going to try something now." Ephram informed her. "We've done it a few times before, and so far, it's been good, but if you don't want me to, you can stop me.."
"Ephram, just shut up and kiss me." Amy ordered.
She leaned in and kissed Ephram lightly on the lips. It was short and sweet, and when they pulled back, Amy was smiling. For the first time in a while, it was a genuine smile.
"So does this mean." Ephram started.
"It means that we're taking things slowly, because I want this to last." Amy informed him.
"Still friends?" Ephram asked.
"Always." Amy replied. "And maybe a little more."
Ephram smiled and turned back onto the road towards Amy's house. After a few moments of silence, they arrived back.
Both hopped out of the car and walked towards the doorway.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ham." Amy promised as she went to open the door.
"Goodnight, Ophelia." Ephram replied.
Amy turned around and made a face. "Ophelia?" she asked.
"Yeah, well, I thought maybe you could use a new nickname, you know, between you and me." Ephram explained.
"And you picked Ophelia?" Amy asked, puzzled.
"I was sticking with the Shakespeare theme." He replied. "You started it."
Amy laughed. "True." She thought for a moment. "Wait a sec, wasn't Ophelia the crazy one who ended up drowning? That's awful!"
"Yeah, but Hamlet was in love with her." Ephram replied quietly, looking directly into her eyes.
Amy smiled. Ephram leaned in and kissed her once more, then walked back to the car and drove off.
Amy lingered on the porch for a moment, thinking about what had happened. After a while, she slipped back inside. Bright was leaning against the staircase.
"Amy and Ephram, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" He chanted, making kissy noises.
"Oh grow up." Amy retorted, hitting him as she walked by.
"Oh grow up." Bright mimicked, following her into the kitchen, secretly grateful that his sister was beginning to heal.
Everything was different, but things were starting to get back to normal.
What did you think? Was it good? Should I continue?
In case you didn't understand the relevance of the title, it was to represent that Ephram wasn't trying to replace Colin. Instead of giving her flowers, he wrote her a song. Instead of calling her Grover, he came up with a new nickname. I hope it wasn't too confusing! Thanks guys!