A/N: This is a Sam/OC story and it's quite angsty throughout, because it takes place during the beginning of Season 10. If you haven't see Season 10 yet, there are spoliers ahead, so read at your own risk. I hope you like it. If you do, please let me know by letting me know in the form of a comment. There are more parts to come, so I hope you enjoy :)

At any other time, sharing a bed with Sam Winchester would have been a cake walk for Dani. Well, not entirely. He did have a snoring problem, but that wasn't her main problem at the moment. She would have been able to fall asleep next to him without feeling like it was hard for her to breathe, but tonight was different. On any other night she would have been able to stay relaxed if his hands or feet touched against hers, but tonight wasn't just any other night. Knowing that kept her wide awake next to him as he slept.

She didn't know how he had managed to just crawl into the bed, curl up, and pass out. She didn't know how he could compartmentalize his thoughts or feelings in order to just fall asleep without any trouble at all.

A small part of her hated him for being able to just pretend everything was alright, that everything was normal. That same small part of her wanted to grab her pillow and hit him with it several times, but she was able to control her rage. And then his arm draped over her waist and pulled her to him, his hot body pressed against hers.

Dani didn't know if Sam had done it out of routine, or if he hadn't noticed, but it didn't matter. All that mattered to her was getting out of the bed as soon as she could.

His snoring told her that he was indeed asleep, so she carefully moved, wiggling her body out of his hold. She didn't want to him wake him up; all she wanted was an escape from being so close to him. She used to love and crave his touch once upon a time, but not anymore.

Now it was her own personal hell, considering the pain it caused her heart.

They had dated once upon a time for an entire year. It was her longest relationship with anyone, even before she became a hunter. Things were surprisingly good with Sam. Being with him and hunting together had been easy. It seemed like they were perfect for each other. They were like each other enough to make it easy when things would get difficult or complicated and not so much alike that they would bump heads repeatedly. It felt like the perfect balance to her.

Even Dean had commented about how good they were for each other, and she would always agree with Dean because the words seemed accurate. She was able to help Sam relax when he would get stressed. She'd be there for him, listening to him talk about whatever was bothering him. Whenever he felt comfortable enough to share his personal issues with her, she listened to him, not judging him or making him feel like he couldn't say whatever was on his mind.

She helped him by making time for him and her to do something that he would find fun and enjoyable, like relaxing on a beach or going to an art museum. She did that whenever she would notice that he looked physically and/or mentally drained.

Sam helped her just as much. He helped her through countless rough hunts, hunts that included losing innocent people, which was hard for her, but Sam was always there for her, always there to give her comfort or whatever else she needed. She didn't even need to ask for it; he just knew.

He also helped by making her a better hunter. He would spend countless hours teaching her every little thing that he had learned since he first starting hunting, which was long before she even knew about anything in the supernatural field. He helped her train, physically making her stronger. He would spend many days and hours teaching her a wide array of fighting techniques he had learned from his dad and Dean, which he had mastered.

He helped her become a better person all around by just being himself. And then he broke her into pieces as if the entire year meant nothing at all to him. She didn't want to believe that, but it was difficult to see it any other way.

She didn't understand the timing of it. Just as she was going to gather the courage to tell him that she loved him, Sam had decided to end their relationship. If that wasn't bad enough, his explanation came in the form of a very vague excuse about how being together was too dangerous, but she didn't understand. It sounded more like a cop out to her than anything else. In all the time that they had been together, hunting side by side, they had never had a close call, so his words didn't have any weight to them.

The fact was probably that he didn't feel the same way for her as he once did. She didn't know why he couldn't just tell her the truth. By lying to her he made her feel more than worthless, like she meant so little to him.

She finally rolled off the bed without waking him and considered that a win for the night. She would either sleep on the floor or in the car, it didn't matter to her. She just couldn't sleep next to him, not when it hurt so much to be near him, not when he was no longer hers.

While making her way to the door, briefly she wondered if Sam found it easy to be around her because he didn't care about her the same way that he once did. She wondered if that was because he had moved on or maybe even found someone else.

Just the thought of that made it hard for her to breathe. Just thinking of some other woman touching him, kissing him, feeling his skin against hers, made Dani want to scream.

She slipped out of the room and walked to her car. She got in and opened her glove department, finding a small box inside and lighter as well. She retrieved her cigarettes, a habit Sam had gotten her to quit long ago. She stepped out of the car and walked to the bumper. She stepped on it and boosted herself so she could sit on the trunk.

She didn't know what to expect when Dean had called and asked for her help on a case, but she knew she wanted to help. She knew seeing Sam would be difficult, but she didn't think she'd ever end up in the same bed as him. Unfortunately, the motel they were staying at only had two rooms available and each room only had one bed. When Dean suggested they go out to have a few drinks and then spent the whole time flirting with the waitress, it was more than obvious Dean was going to take her back to his room, leaving Dani with only one option, the option she hadn't prepared herself for.

As she smoked the cigarette and tried to gather her emotions, she heard a door open from behind her. She turned around to see him. Sam. He was standing in the doorway of the room, giving her a quizzical look. She just turned around and continued to smoke. She didn't have anything to say to him.

When she heard the door close, she figured Sam had went back in, but that wasn't true, instead he had decided to walk over to her. She briefly made eye contact before looking back down at the concrete. He slumped against her bumper, standing in just his pajama bottoms and a hoodie, the same as her.

It had been two months since he had broken her heart, but it felt like no time had passed. She was still in pain and seeing him only made that pain increase. It was like she couldn't see him as the same Sam she'd dated and that hurt more than she could describe.

"Couldn't sleep?" Sam's voice flowed between them.

"Not even a little," she answered, blowing out smoke.

Sam must have noticed the awkwardness surrounding them, because he decided to try small talk. "You started smoking again?" he asked, even though the answer was right in front of his face.

She shrugged. "Yup." She knew that Sam breaking up with her was something that she couldn't control, but that didn't mean that she couldn't control how she took the break up. Some might call being pretend nice to the person who ripped your heart out taking the high road. She shook her head at that.

She wanted to take the low road. She wanted to be bitter. Being fake nice wasn't in the cards. Her feelings for Sam were too strong to just pretend he was just any other person in the world to her.

"How long have you been doing that?"

"Three days after we last saw each other," she said, not seeing the point of lying to him.

"I really wish you hadn't picked that back up," he commented, as she flicked the cigarette across the parking lot.

"Yeah, well I really wish that you hadn't broken up with me, but life doesn't always give you what you want. Why do you even care anyway, Sam? It isn't like I mean anything to you anymore."

"That's not true." He sighed and stood in front of her. "You mean a lot to me, Dani."

"So pushing me away means that you care? Okay, well then explain what the hell we were doing for that year. What the hell was that? Was that you caring as well or not caring? I need to know, because you're not making any sense to me, Sam."

"Of course I cared about you, Dani. I always have and always will."

Who was he trying to kid her?

"Oh, okay. No worries then. I'm glad we had this talk." She spat out before jumping off the trunk and walking towards the driver door. "Tell Dean, I said bye," she called over her shoulder. She didn't make it in the car before Sam grabbed her elbow, holding her in place.

"Why are you making this so difficult for me?" he asked, genuine curiosity on his face.

"Difficult for you? You've got to be fucking kidding me! I'm supposed to make things easy for you after what you did? Screw that and screw you!"

"That's not what I mean. I'm trying to explain it to you, but you won't listen to me."

"Listen to what? You already told me why you did what you did. It was no longer safe for us to be together. I got it! It's complete bullshit, but I get it, Sam. Now, can I go?"

"No!" Sam nearly screamed and released her arm. "Just stop and listen for a second, please!" he pleaded. She didn't meet his eyes, because she knew the puppy dog eyes would be there and she wanted no part of that. He took her silence as permission for him to continue. "I'm sorry for the way I handled things that night. I know it all came out of nowhere and that it wasn't easy for you to make any sense of, but I had no other option."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because, I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Good fucking job." She spat out and crossed her arms over her chest. "Thanks for being so selfless, Sam!"

"I know you're mad and you have every right to be mad at me, but be mad for the right reasons."

"Such as?" she bit out sarcastically.

"I lied. I told you that I didn't think we should be together, because hunting together while being together would lead to heartbreak, but that wasn't the real reason I needed to end things." He stopped, watching her as his words hit her.

"Well? What was it then? Did you find someone else? What?"

"I haven't been with anyone since you." He reassured her and despite how mad she was, a large part of her believed him. "I hadn't been with anyone for as long as I was with you since Jess. It was amazing and I hadn't been so happy in years, but it was also really scary because of how things ended with her."

She closed her eyes and sighed. Sam told her shortly after their four month anniversary about Jess. It was horrible. She couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for him to lose her the way that he did, but why was he using that as justification for hurting her?

"I knew things were different with us. I knew I wasn't ever going to wake up to find you the way I found Jess, that's not what I'm trying to say." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I loved Jess, but after she died, I didn't allow myself to ever feel that way again. Sure there were women, but none of them meant the same to me as she did...that was until I met you."He looked at her and she froze. What was he saying? "I could feel it, but I denied it for so long. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to believe it, because if I did, well, I don't have the best track record with women, as you well know."

She nodded, more to herself than him. She knew the women, knew how bad it had been. From Jess to Amelia, it hadn't worked out well at all for him, but she thought that it was different with her, because she was a hunter; she could protect herself. He didn't need to worry about a demon or anything else coming for her, because she could handle it. All of it. And he'd be right there with her.

"I'm sorry I lied, but I couldn't tell you that I was breaking up with you because I-" he stopped, clearing his throat.

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"You broke up with me, because…?" she let her silence be his cue. She watched as he switched back and forth on his feet and saw his cheeks turn rosy pink. He bit his bottom lip.

"Why?" he asked, not looking at her.

"Because I want to hear you say it, even if it's just this once. Say it. You owe me that, Sam. You owe me for breaking up with me when I implied to you that I was falling for you, so say it."

"Will it make anything easier for you?"

She shook her head. No, it wouldn't, but she didn't care. "Say it, Sam."

He took a deep breath and then swallowed hard, his eyes finally meeting hers. "I love you."

She swallowed at his words, letting herself take just a small moment to savor the sounds of those words coming from his mouth. "Do you mean it?" she asked, already know, but still convinced that he might have been lying to her in an attempt to make everything easier for her. He nodded, still looking into her eyes, which now had tears in them. She believed him, knowing that Sam wouldn't lie about his feelings, not just to spare hers. "You still think we should break up?" He nodded again, but she didn't freak out, she just walked forward towards him. "Even if I told you that I loved you too, that I didn't care about your history, that I only cared about us and our future?" she asked, holding his gaze, not caring how pathetic or vulnerable she was being in that moment.

Hope had risen inside of her. If he actually loved her, they had a chance at making it work. It was a chance she hated taking, knowing that she was giving him another chance to break her, but she needed to, she needed to make sure that she tried as hard as she could to make it work.

After all, she did still love him, even if part of her didn't want to. It would so much easier if she didn't love him.

"You'd want to be with me, even after I broke your heart?"

She nodded. "I would. I do." She licked her lips and then kept staring into his beautiful eyes.

"I love you, Dani. I can't deny that now. I won't even try."

"But?" she guessed.

He nodded. "But I can't risk hurting you because I want to be selfish."

"It's my life, Sam, and you won't hurt me."

"Yes, but this is also my decision that I made and according to you. I already hurt, so why would I want to do anymore damage?"

She backed away from him, feeling her confidence decrease. "So, I love you and you love me, but we're just supposed to say 'Oh, well.' and move on?"

"I don't know any other way."

"Being together seems like a good opportunity to make things better for us, wouldn't you say?"

"I wish I could say, 'Screw it.' and take you back in that room with me right now, but I will not be selfish, not when it comes to you. I want things to be good between us. I want us to end this and still be on good terms."

"How exactly can I do that, Sam?" She pushed past him and opened the driver's door. "I don't know what the hell you thought pushing me away was going to accomplish. I don't know how you thought breaking my heart over and over was helpful to me, but it certainly didn't make me feel good or like I could end this on a friendly note."

Sam sighed, his face set into a permanent frown. "Please, just-"

"Stop, Sam." She climbed into her car and started it. "I love you, Sam, so I guess according to your rules, I have to push you away now." She buckled her seatbelt. She didn't want to leave, but what other choice did she have? She couldn't be around him. It would only cause her more pain. "Goodbye."

"Wait, please!"

She closed her eyes, only hesitating for a moment before she pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Sam standing all by himself, the way he seemed to want it all along.

She wiped her eyes as she drove, trying to get rid of tightening in her chest and the lump in her throat. She didn't know what she was going to do, long term, but she did know one thing: The next time Dean called for backup, she would send another hunter. She was done being heartbroken, she was done with everything.