I'm Just A Kid

written by Polecat


Disclaimer: I don't own any character from the movie, plain and simple. I'm making no money. This is just what I do for my own entertainment. I don't own the title either, it comes from a song by Simple Plan that was playing as I was writing this.

Notes: Story completely inspired by my seven month old nephew. His name is Juan but we call him Boober. All hail Boober for this wonderfully SLASHY (yes, you heard right, I said slashy. Don't like? Hit your back button. Thank you.) piece of fiction.

Sitting here with a baby bouncing on my lap trying to type a very important school report while trying to juggle said kid so he doesn't fall off my lap if not as easy a task as it may seem.

Chubby little tanned hands reach for my face, slimy, gooey fingers coated in baby drool go into my mouth. I rear my head back, wiping the baby spit from my lips and having to hold the squirmy one in place.

He giggles and smiles up at me with big brown eyes and sweet little dimples. I frown down at him and he just smiles bigger. I try to look tough but the kid isn't buying it. I smile back at him.

He then proceeds to gum my thumb while I turn to his brother perched on the end of his bed. He's sitting Indian style with a book on his lap. He was paying the book no attention and smiling at us. Us being me and his baby brother who I was now trying to keep from licking the keyboard.

"What?" I ask him.

"Kid, will you have my baby?"

I laugh a humorless bark. "No."

"Why not?" He looks at me with those same big brown eyes his brother has.

I slide the baby back onto my lap as he tries to wiggle his way to the floor. "Because I don't want to get fat."

"I'll still love you if you get fat."

"Shut up, Mush."

"Please have my baby?"

I hold up my hand that isn't holding the squirmy kid in place. "Put a ring on this finger first."

"Will do."

"Take me on a honeymoon to Jamaica."

"New York?" He raises his eyebrows until they disappear into a mess of curls.

"Funny," I said prying my written report out of his brothers baby goo filled hands.

"Okay, fine, we'll honeymoon in Jamaica."

"And you have to buy me a house."

"A townhouse."

I shake my head, "Nope, I want a duplex with a front and back yard."

"You want an awful lot outta me."

I grinned, "No duplex, no babies."

He sighed heavily but nodded. "Fine. Marriage, honeymoon in Jamaica and a nice big duplex for my sweetie."

I smiled switching the chubby baby to my other leg. "Good."

"So you'll have my babies then?"

"I guess so."

He pushed the booh off to the side and rolled over until he was flat on his belly, "How about we start working on that baby now?"

"What about him?" I motion with my head towards the baby.

"MOM!" Mush hollered so loud me and the kid both jumped. "JONNIE'S ACTING UP AND WE CAN'T STUDY!"

A rush of footsteps and Mrs. Meyers was in Mush's bedroom doorway. She looked like a Mother from a 50's sitcom with a crisp pale blue dress, white apron and even neatly curled hair.

I handed her over the baby who by the smell had just messed his diaper.

"Thanks," she smiled cuddling the baby. "You boys get back to business, I want you two working very hard."

"We will, Mom." Mush's tone was all innocent but if his mother had turned around at that second she would have seen the pure lust in his eyes.

"I'll close the door so there will be no distractions. Dinner will be ready in an hour, be downstairs then."

We both nodded and the door closed with a nice little click.

Mush turned those seductive brown eyes on me. "Show me your worth a honeymoon in Jamaica and duplex house."

I pushed myself away from the computer in the swivel chair, moving closer to him and the bed. "You already know I am," I replied.

"Refresh my memory."

---End---