Authors Note: If you haven't watched " Home Invasion" 1x20 I think, I thought it was a great Ep, BUT I am SO MAD at John Diggle. Because this is Fan Fic and we can " do as we please " I am getting revenge on John Diggle. I don't own the characters, I just play with them. Spoilers ahead if you haven't watched it yet. 8belles

The Only Thing

The funeral home was so filled with mourners it was hard to breathe. The stifled sound of sobbing was the despondent background music as women blotted their eyes with tissues and men cleared their throats trying to be strong. Moira Queen was draped in black lace and pearls, her hair a sharp blonde contrast to the ebony scarf as she stood near the mahogany coffin surrounded by enough flowers to fill a greenhouse. Her pale hand shook as it rested on the wood. It was as if she was back to the moment she buried him the first time, five years ago, knifing through her heart.

Thea was dressed similarly and seemed much smaller than she really was, weighted down with grief. Roy stood next to her, arm around her shaking shoulders, dressed in a Goodwill special, which was all he could afford. Thea didn't care about his clothes because he was the only thing keeping her sane right now. Oliver was found only to be lost again so soon and that notion threatened to send her over the edge.

Felicity stood to the side near Laurel and her father, her ebullient fashion sense muted in deep forest green. She knew Oliver, who appreciated her riotous color choices in clothes, would not want her to be so somber in black and she wore the color in secret honor of what he accomplished. Standing straight and poised her golden hair down for a change, she watched the mother say goodbye to her son a second time. Her tears didn't flow because she was being strong for Oliver and she was beyond furious at one man: John Diggle. She knew he was here because it was almost like his guilt radiated from him like a beacon in the dark night. His presence was repugnant to her and if she got near him, she knew she'd slap him in the face for what he did and what he didn't do.

" The only thing between me leaving and that door is an arrow." John said hatefully as he turned away from the shell-shocked Oliver. Oliver didn't turn to watch him leave as his partner, bodyguard and friend left for what looked like forever.

Felicity had walked in on the short exchange but it didn't take her long to figure out what had transpired. Oliver wandered the arrow cave as if he'd lost his purpose. His blue eyes glazed and unsettled as if he was battling some inner demons wresting for his mind and soul. Felicity watched him from a distance, not sure how to approach him in such an unsettled state.

As mourners passed the casket after Moira and Thea, Felicity's memory winged unbidden back to the day he had died. Oliver seemed suddenly consumed by the one task of killing Deadshot as if that would bring Diggle back. " I have to try." He said to Felicity in the cave after a rather violent training session.

" Oliver, it's a trap. A death trap! You can't do this alone!" she protested standing in between him and his bow, fire in her blue eyes.

" I have to. I owe it to Dig." Oliver replied in a low growl not meeting her gaze. The tension between them had been growing since John left and it was about to reach a fever pitch.

" You don't owe him anything." she spat back, " He left you to rot because he thought you were choosing Laurel over him." Felicity returned glaring back at him with all her strength.

" But he's a friend." he scowled at her finally meeting her eyes, " I let him down."

" If your loyalty is so easily tested, then you're letting me down too." she hissed back, inches from his face. Panic flooded her mind because she knew if he was in trouble, there was absolutely no way she could help him.

His mouth opened with a thought, then shut with a click. The false mask of expression waved over his face as if she was just a casual acquaintance. Her heart hammered in her chest and her feelings were singed as he shut her out. With a neat step around her, he took his bow and quiver and walked out the door. Felicity whipped around to watch him ascend the stairs and her heart was torn from her chest with him. Hot tears filled her vision as she thought that was the last time she'd see him alive. Damn you John Diggle, she cursed, damn you to hell!