Disclaimer: You know the drill. I own nothing
Author's Note: This is a song fic about Max and Logan's feelings on the virus. Yes I know it's been done before but now it's my turn to give it a shot. The songs I'll be using are Perfect and You Complete Me by Stabbing Westward. This is set after Medium is the Message. Alright…I think that's it, Enjoy!
~
I am lost in the darkness
between two worlds
and here I'm struggling...
You're the light I've been seeking
cause my whole life there's been something missing
Only you...can make me whole
Just one touch…you complete me
~
Poison. The blood flowing through her veins carried poison. Renfro was right, "Don't you see, 452? You're poison. You destroy everyone that you love. (Renfro holds up a photograph of each.) Zack...your brother Ben...your sister Tinga...and him--Eyes Only." Logan. Max's eyes filled with tears. The one person that truly understood her and what she was, the one person who cared for her. I don't want to lose him. Her body shuddered as tear after tear dribbled down her cheek. When Joshua had handed the virus papers to her that night, covered in paint, anger wasn't what she felt. Defeat, she felt defeated. What am I supposed to do now? Was the only thought that ran through her head at Joshua's place. Even now on the top of the Space Needle, the thought plagued her. Should I tell Logan? What should I say to him? Now question after question ran through her head and she had no idea what to do.
Max hated this, the feeling of being out of control and not knowing what to do next. All she could think of was the look of disappointment that had crossed Logan's face, when she had told him that the Manticore doctor had skipped town. All because of Alec. It's his fault that the doctor's gone and it's his fault that the papers Joshua gave me were covered in paint. But Max couldn't blame this on Alec, even though she wanted to. He didn't ask to be captured by White and he didn't know what the papers were for when he had plastered them to Joshua's canvas. Alec was only doing what anyone would do in his situation, live. He needed the money to survive, like everyone else in this broken city.
~
Rescue me, from this black hole
that's sucked me in and left me dying
you're the truth that I've been seeking
Cause my whole life I've been lying...
Only you...can make me whole
Just one touch…you complete me
~
Max wished again for the millionth time that day that her life could be normal. That she could be a normal person with a normal life. That she had never been "made". But that could never happen; she couldn't run away from what she was. No one could. She pulled her legs closer to her chest and sat facing Seattle, wondering if anyone out there was feeling the way she felt at this moment. Wondering if someone out there felt as empty and alone as she did.
~
Lately I've noticed
How much you've changed
Even though you swear
You're the same
So why do I feel
A million miles away?
Why do I feel
Like we're broken?
~
Logan sat on the couch in his upscale apartment staring out the window and looking at nothing in particular, surrounded by only his thoughts and the sea of emotions swirling inside him. Though Logan had everything he could ever want, he would give it all up for a cure for the virus that separated him from Max, in more ways than one. It was funny because last year before Max was recaptured by Manticore; talking to her, hearing her icy comebacks, making her dinner and just enjoying her presence, gave him more of a thrill than 100 kisses and touches. Now because of the virus, even though Max was back from Manticore after 3 months of thinking she was dead, he felt more separated from her than ever. They still talked, but the comfortable and easy banter they used to have had been replace by awkwardness and intensity that filled the air every time they were close.
~
Why
can't it be
Perfect like it used to be?
Why can't we be perfect?
~
Logan got up and moved to his computer desk chair and began to immerse himself in Eyes Only, trying to drown out thoughts of Max and the way things used to be from his mind. But as he scrolled through possible leads on his latest mission all concentration slipped away as Max once again invaded his thoughts. The chicken pox he had a couple of days ago seemed to have distanced him even more from Max, right when they seemed to be getting the slightest bit closer to each other.
Logan was trying everything to get someone to help with the virus, even going as low as to call Lydecker for help. But Lydecker was gone even though Max was sure he wasn't dead, Logan knew that he wouldn't be getting any help from him anytime soon. So now what? What are you gonna do Cale? Try and see if it would work with Asha? Logan shook his head vigorously. Asha was a great person who seemed to care for him but he knew that she could never compare to what he had with Max. However messed up that might be at the moment. Logan got up from his desk chair, finally deciding that now was not the time to deal with Eyes Only and got up to get a glass of wine, hoping to dull the confusion, emptiness and longing that had welled up inside him.
~
Perfect is how I
Once described our love
But that was before
We fell apart
It used to be perfect
Lately I've noticed
How much you've changed
Even though you swear
You're the same
It used to be perfect
~
"Logan?" a voice asked, and he knew instantly that it was Max. "Over here Max" he called raising his voice ever so slightly. Logan pulled out another glass and poured wine carefully into it. Max soon walked into the kitchen, wearing a pair of olive cargos and a tight black shirt that accented every curve of her shapely figure. "Want to join me?" He gestured to the glass. She shook her head and Logan noticed that her eyes were red, as if she had been crying for a long time. "What's wrong?" He said anxiously, immediately worried about her. "Do you think we could talk for a sec" Max replied, her voice was slightly unsteady. "Sure" Logan moved to a chair and sat down quickly, as she paced in front of him.
"Logan, I have to tell you something" she started shakily. "What is it?" Logan pressed. "Joshua-uh I mean Alec, well both of them-" she stopped and started again. "Joshua has started painting a lot lately and I've been over at his house working on the papers we got from the Manticore doctor. Alec came by when I wasn't there and he helped Joshua make more paintings to sell to a gallery. It turns out the owner of the gallery loved the found objects and palimpsest he used on the paintings. So Alec began to slap paper onto the canvas and well…I think you can guess the rest" She finished and collapsed onto the couch, tears welling up in her eyes. "Logan, I'm so sorry…the papers were all we had left and now-" Max pulled a clump of paint-splattered paper out of her pant pocket. She looked up at Logan and the tears that had begun forming in her eyes, spilled out and glided down the smooth skin of her cheek freely. Logan's heart broke for her.
"Shh-Shh, it's ok Max we'll find another way, those papers wouldn't have been much help anyway. We can get through this; I'll get in touch with some of my contacts and we'll find someone who can help us. Don't give up on this Max, don't give up on us," He said trying to convince her and himself that they had a chance to be together. Max smiled through her tears, "You're just the eternal optimist aren't you?" "It's my nature" He smiled back and handed her a tissue. "Thanks" and she began to dry the tears from her eyes. "I could really use that glass of wine right now" Logan laughed and handed the wine glass over to her. He took a sip of his wine and asked, "Max, do you think you could stay for awhile and have dinner. My culinary skills have been a tad lacking without you around and I'd really like to see if I can still make miracles." Max looked Logan in the eyes and replied to his delight, "I'd love to".
Max left Logan's penthouse late that night, smiling. She was surprised at how good it felt to be around him even though she wasn't able to touch him. Max had realized that even though she and Logan couldn't be together physically, they could always be there for each other emotionally. So things aren't like they used to be between us, that doesn't mean things can't get better. "Don't give up on this Max, don't give up on us." The words Logan had said with such intensity echoed through her mind and she remembered the look in Logan's eyes, the determination and complete faith as he said them. Maybe there is hope for us yet was Max's final thought as she sped off toward home on her motorcycle.
*END*
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Author's Note: Hope you liked that! I wanted to write an M/L fic that ended happily for once! ;) Please R & R.