Author's Note:  This story may contain spoilers up to 'Selfless'.  I'm picking up right after the appearance of the "two Buffys" in that episode.  This is my take on what was going on during that ep.  I haven't seen any stories with this premise yet, so I'm hoping this will be an original.  Please R/R.   Remember this is my very first fanfic. 

Chapter 1

Spike sat huddled in a corner listening to the fading sound of Buffy's heels clicking on the hard basement floor, she was leaving.  She had tried to get him to leave with her, at least that's what he thought she was telling him.  It was so hard to tell these days.  The voices swirled around him, sometimes their owners even materialized in front of him.  It was very difficult to know who or what was real anymore.   He had finally covered his ears and howled like and animal until she had left.

"She's not real you know, they all think she is, but she's not." 

Spike looked up startled.  It was Buffy again, but she was dressed differently this time.  Had she had time to change clothes and come back?  It seemed like it had only been minutes since she had left, or had it?  He really had lost his mind.

"Spike, did you hear me? Spike?  You have to listen to me, please.  I need you."

He stared at her in confusion.  She sounded so sweet, so patient.  He didn't remember her ever using that tone with him before.  He stared at the floor, feeling too ashamed to meet her eyes.

"Buffy, love… I told you I belong here, I can't leave.  I've always been here….  Besides, you're not real anyway, I can't keep wasting my time with spooks." He said this last with a trace of his old snarkiness.

"Spike, listen" Buffy began using a voice barely above a whisper. " I know you're scared and confused.  I know you think you're seeing things.  But, I told you I would help you get through this.  You have to believe me, I am real.  The other, she wasn't real.  They're just trying to confuse you, make you think you're crazy so you can't help me."  She knelt down before the disheveled vamp and gently lifted his chin so that his eyes met hers. " Spike, I need you to believe me.  You're the only one who can help me."

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"I don't know what's wrong with me?  I've tried everything I know to make them like me, but it doesn't work.  I thought they had invited me to a party last Friday but when I got to the address, it was the Dog Pound! "

The girl had barely gotten this last part out through her tears.  Buffy fought the intense anger she felt rising, who did these little bitches think they were anyway?  Laura had been in her office several times the previous week.  Her English teacher had sent her the first time after she had started crying in class, after that she had come back on her own, desperate for someone to talk to.   It seems the girl had become the current scapegoat for some of the more cruel members of the in-crowd.  Her obvious thirst for acceptance wasn't helping the situation any either.

"Laura, I know you want them to like you but have you ever considered that they don't deserve your friendship.  You are a very nice girl, with a lot to offer, you should…."

Laura cut Buffy off with a sad laugh.

"Well if I'm so wonderful, how come* they're* always in Homecoming court, and all the guys like* them* and I'm treated like a *dog*?"

The bell signaling class change saved Buffy from having to respond to such a tough question.  Laura gathered her books from the floor and took the tissue Buffy offered her. 

"Thanks again for listening Miss Summers, I have a quiz next period and I know you're tired of hearing me complain, so I better get going."

"No, Laura, I'm glad to help you in any way I can.  Please come back any time you need to talk."

Once the teen had left her cubicle Buffy let her forehead hit her desk with an audible thump.  Why did the principal ask me to be a counselor?, she thought to herself.  I can't even sort out my own personal problems half the time and now I'm supposed to solve other people's problems!  I wish I could just go find that little Harmony Kendall wannabe who currently runs the "cool crowd" and stake her snotty ass.  Too bad, this girl wasn't technically a vampire, just a royal bitch.  And how was she supposed to explain to Laura that what was happening to her wasn't her fault.  God, she had a headache.  She should have just stayed in bed today, because her she certainly wasn't helping anyone.  She remembered her conversation with Spike earlier, if you could call it that.  She had been trying to 'help' him, get him out of that basement and away from the frickin hell hole. He had just babbled some nonsense about the walls talking and the rats listening, or was it the other way around?  Who the hell knew. She would probably end up forcibly removing him, but she didn't know where she'd take him if she did.  Part of her just wanted to forget he existed, but that was easier said than done when he lived in the basement of the school where she worked and her sister attended.  Every time she thought of him she remembered him on that cross, his flesh sizzling.  He had done this to himself *for her*. God, she hadn't asked for that!  He couldn't lay this at her feet, he had tried to rape her for God's sake, he should just feel lucky she didn't stake him.  But another part of her, the part she tried to silence, told her that she couldn't turn away from him, that he needed her.  He had always been there for her, in his own way, and she needed to return the favor.  Besides, she… cared about him, they had been through a lot together after all.  But, it was definitely just a 'used to sleep with you, known you for years' kind of caring she told herself, … definitely.  She'd figure out a way to get him away from the hell mouth and then he'd have to find some way to deal with his own guilty conscious, that was all she could do.