Note: Another little ditty that was gathering techno dust. An insight into what might have been going on in the heads of each of those ladies when they met in Krystal's on Bianca's ill-fated date. And yeah finding this impacted on Impact's final chapter ;-)

Three Women and Their Thoughts

Marissa's Melt Down

Marissa took another breath closing her eyes to the frazzled image of herself in Krystal's restroom mirror. She had been babbling; there was no other word to describe how she had reacted to Bianca's date. Her mind had hotwired as soon as she'd seen the other woman brush her lips against the soft skin of Bianca's cheek. And a lawyer, Sienna was a lawyer an obviously outward cool and collected lawyer unlike the jabbering mess Marissa had been. And they were going to the opening of that gallery the one Marissa had talked about, it couldn't get much worse really.

Marissa tried to think rationally, only months ago she had wanted Bianca to get involved with Karen from ConFusion so why now was it a problem that her best friend was out on a date? She wanted Bianca to be happy, didn't she? Her friend, her best friend who she loved, of course Marissa wanted Bianca to be happy.

Behind pale eyelids the redhead visualised Bianca standing in the doorway, purple always looked so good on the brunette and Bianca's hair when pulled back from her face like that seemed to look even softer. Bianca was beautiful, stunning really and when she dressed in form fitting clothes she looked so sexy. Marissa's eyes flew open at the thought. No! No! No! Bianca was her best friend; sexy was not a word used to describe a best friend.

Marissa took more deep breaths and tried to think about something else. JR and AJ, yes she thought about her family, the happy family she now had with her son and his father. Minutes later her mind settled Marissa rinsed her hands and left the washroom reminding herself that family was what she needed, a solid happy family for her son.

Sienna's Search

Sienna looked down at her cell phone in exasperation, still no coverage. It was an omen, most definitely an omen. Bianca Montgomery was just too beautiful, too sweet and intelligent and wonderful not to have a line of equally beautiful, sweet, intelligent and wonderful women lining up to date her. Competition didn't bother Sienna, she was a lawyer and thrived on it so Marissa's obvious interest in Bianca was not something that would ultimately deter her. But that interest being returned most certainly would.

Brown eyes lifted from the cell to glance briefly across the restaurant to the bar where Bianca was standing with her friend JR. Sienna was good with body language , with reading the subtle nuances of a person's interactions and reactions and right now she was reading guilt from Bianca. She could even hear it in the brunette's voice as it carried across the quiet restaurant. "JR she was your wife." It wasn't just the tense used but the tension in the brunette's voice that struck Sienna. There was something amiss with the entire situation.

Bianca's Balking

Bianca's heart was racing. JR was looking at her accusingly his words amplifying in her ears to sound like death knolls. It would be the beginning of the end; he would never hear her, never understand that her attraction to Marissa was miniscule in comparison to her need for the redhead's friendship. Marissa was her anchor, she had been there for her through the divorce, through the harrowing days of Erica's kidnapping and she had held a fragile Bianca together through their ordeal at the hands of Ricky Torres. JR wouldn't care about any of that, he would become territorial like he always did; controlling his loved ones and the people in their life. Bianca would lose Marissa to his selfish insecurity.

The brunette felt a rush of relief when JR blamed himself and not her for the way Marissa was now acting. Why was Marissa acting rattled anyway? She was straight and had never given any indication that she was uncomfortable with Bianca's sexuality. Bianca sighed, why wouldn't the poor redhead be rattled? It wasn't exactly an everyday occurrence to find out that your female best friend had the hots for you. As relieved as Bianca was to have it all out in the open she really wished she could do something to make Marissa more comfortable with the situation.

Marissa Meets Meaning

Oh God! Oh dear God! Did Sienna really just ask that? How long had Marissa had a thing for Bianca – she did just ask it. Marissa was like a deer caught in headlights unsure which way to run and desperately losing time in deciding. The words she uttered were said in that same fanatical rush as earlier making Marissa want to crawl into the nearest crack in the floor. What the hell was wrong with her? Why was this all spiralling so out of control?

Marissa tried to argue her point by gesturing towards her ex-husband but even to her the words rang hollow. Bianca was standing opposite JR, her back to Marissa oblivious to the turmoil going on behind her. And Marissa couldn't keep her eyes from caressing the slender form of her best friend, the soft sun-kissed skin of Bianca's shoulders and arms, the way her slender waist tucked in just before swelling out to form those full hips. Marissa's eyes drank in what her body tried to deny and she stumbled again on the words that would tell this Sienna woman what it was she wanted. Because suddenly the meaning of what she wanted had gone from being a clear lake on a beautiful day to a rough sea in the eye of a storm. And Marissa was drowning.

Sienna Sees Sense

The truth would set you free, it was the ethos to which Sienna lived by and as much as she hoped Marissa wouldn't grasp it she also hated to see anyone as torn as the redhead so obviously was. Hazel eyes widened confirming what Sienna had already determined, Bianca's friend was in denial. It was a sad situation in so many ways because Sienna had really hoped that she and the beautiful brunette could build on more than the initial spark that had flared between them.

Sienna turned with Marissa to look at the bar where Bianca still stood with her back to them deep in conversation with a distracted JR. Such a lovely figure; such a beautiful and fascinating woman. Marissa was stumbling over words again and it would have been funny if wasn't so painful to watch. It was obvious the other woman was out of her depth but her last words were really the final nail in the coffin for Sienna. All Marissa wanted was for Bianca to be happy. They were said with such conviction, no trace of the hyper rattled woman who had been on display since Bianca had first introduced them. No, speaking now was the kind of woman Sienna could see Bianca Montgomery falling for, a strong, intelligent, principled woman who would put her friend's happiness before her own. Sienna lowered her eyes back to her cell, no coverage had most definitely been an omen.

Bianca Berates the Boy

Bianca was talking both to JR and to herself at the same time, the conversations so widely different that they might have made her laugh had her heart not ached so much. Why did this always have to happen to her? Why did she have to fall for another straight girl and watch as that girl bonded with a man? A man, brown eyes looked JR over watching as yet again he lost focus in the conversation to concentrate on his cell. The brunette could still see the boy within the man; the child who would want a toy only for as long as it became his and then he would neglect it in favour of a new one. God was he really doing that already? Bianca felt a jolt of anger so strong that she had to force herself not to reach out and tear the cell from JR's hand. He wasn't listening and she told him so, she told him all of the things that would make her happy not him. That Marissa wouldn't return his feelings, that it wasn't meant to be and then the ultimate that he would go jump off a roof and out of her world.

Guilt hit Bianca as forcefully as the anger had. She found herself giving the advice she said she wouldn't, being the love guru she said she wasn't. Suddenly she realised that having everything out in the open wasn't as freeing as she had first thought. How could it be when the openness was selective? This couldn't go on, Bianca couldn't subject herself to this dizzying array of emotions. It wasn't fair on her and it certainly wasn't fair on the woman she had asked out on a date.

Marissa Wasn't Mean But….

Marissa couldn't take much more, the turmoil was making her feel like Amanda had earlier; sick to her stomach. She gave Sienna a small smile trying not to appear mean before hurrying across to JR and insisting that they go home. As she passed Bianca she caught the subtle whiff of an exotic perfume and felt her stomach clench almost painfully. Oh God she had to get out of there.

Deep brown eyes looked at her worriedly, Bianca's face creasing with concern at Marissa's strange behaviour. And it was strange; Marissa couldn't deny that any more than she could deny how amazing her best friend looked, how beautiful and entrancing those chocolate browns eyes were. It was all too much, too hard, too confusing. Marissa had to get away from it. Her eyes caressed that beautiful form again and she tried to keep her voice neutral as she wished Bianca a good time but it was all bravado. Marissa wasn't mean, she truly wanted her best friend to be happy but she was torn with jealousy because that happiness wasn't with her.

Sienna Slips Away…

Sienna had worked with Bianca on several occasions so she had an idea of how the brunette reacted to news she didn't like. It gave the lawyer no pleasure to create that look on the beautiful woman's face although she would be lying if she said she wasn't just a little thrilled with the notion that Bianca really did want to keep their date. But Sienna was not a sadist, she knew it would be too easy to fall in love with Bianca Montgomery and she wasn't prepared to open herself to the pain of unrequited love.

Bianca shook her head repeatedly her lips forming words Sienna had already heard yet those deep brown eyes told the lawyer something completely different. Bianca Montgomery was in love with her best friend. Sienna genuinely wished them the best; they seemed like really nice women. The small part of her that hoped they wouldn't work out was the same part that reminded Bianca that she had her number.

Bianca and Goodbyes

Bianca watched Sienna's departure feeling a mixture of sadness and relief. The lawyer had seemed nice, like someone Bianca could see herself with if her heart were still in the market to choose. But it wasn't and if Sienna could see that then surely others could too. Was that why Marissa was behaving so oddly? Did she realise that it wasn't just an attraction? Or had she lied when she said she was comfortable with it all being out in the open? Bianca closed her eyes sighing softly; why did she have to fall for another best friend? History dictated that it would end badly and Bianca didn't want that, she didn't want to have to hear another best friend whisper goodbye. Was there any way she could prevent it? For once could she maybe get it right and hold onto a friendship? Bianca wasn't sure; all she could really say for certain was that her heart wasn't strong enough to face another goodbye.