Disclaimer: I don't own anything Dark Angel related. The bumper sticker is
an actual sticker that I've seen so the company that printed it owns it.
And the story title belongs to Nickleback.
Rating: R
I sat in my social worker's car. She looked mad, she always looked mad.
"Jonah, please, let this house work out."
I want to correct her, my name isn't Jonah. It's Jondy. But I don't I know she won't like that, it's not a normal name. I press that thought deep into my mind.
"K," I replied.
My gaze goes to the burgundy mini-van in the driveway. There's a sticker on the back. Carla, my social worker, can't read it but I can. It says "God allows u-turns." I don't know who God is but just looking at the sticker lets me know that this house, house number three, won't work out.
I scratch at my hair. It's the longest it's ever been, but it's barely to my eyes. I look up at my bangs, golden blonde. Perfectly golden blonde. But then again, I was designed to be perfect.
Carla finally led me inside the house. I didn't like it. The Martin's, my new family, they had statues of a man nailed to a cross. He reminded me of the Nomlie in the woods. I couldn't look at them. But next to one of the statues was a picture I knew.
I stopped and looked at it, amazed that these people had it in their house. The Blue Lady. I reached up and touched it, I could feel myself smiling. She would protect me here.
I ignored Carla talking about me like I wasn't in the room. "She was caught as a runaway back in February and this is now her third home since."
"Lord above, it's only May." My new mom, Margie, said. My new dad, Harold, grunted.
Carla continued to warn them that I was a wild and rambunctious child that didn't understand a lot of rules, actually I didn't understand a lot. I was a bright kid but most stuff I didn't understand.
I ignored her and I smiled at the Blue Lady. I had found a soldier's home, a family of soldiers. They would report my position to Zack or whoever else was in charge of those of us who escaped, and they would come get me. And I would get to see my unit, my family again.
The Martin's and Carla finished their coffee and Carla left. I very quickly found out that the Martin's were no soldiers.
They were better than the Jeraldi's. The Jeraldi's didn't have enough food or room for all of their kids all the time so I often found myself laying on the floor as I pretended to sleep. My stomach growled a lot there.
They were better then the Ivan'. They were always drunk.
But they were not better by much. Margie let me know straight off that I was at no point to ever call her mom, mommy, or mother unless we were at church or with her church group. I was tempted to ask what church was but I held my tongue.
Harold drank and had a really bad comb over. He was angry a lot. He didn't like the statues in the house either. They were of a man named Jesus Christ. And when Margie was gone he would say mean things to him. Most I didn't understand but he sounded mad, like Lydecker did when someone failed. I tried to stay away from Harold when he was like that.
On my second night there, we were eating dinner. Margie had made pot roast, it smelled really good. She dipped her head and mumbled before she spoke. I listened while she talked. I didn't understand, much like everything else.
She looked up and saw me just sitting there, "Jonah, bow your head."
I did as she said.
"Now say grace." She said.
"Grace." I muttered.
"Jonah!" She hissed. "Say it right."
I leaned over more in embarrassment, my ears turned red, and I sat there in silence.
"Jonah." She hissed again.
"Jesus Christ, Marge. She doesn't know it." Harold said.
Margie was quiet instantly. She finally spoke, her voice soft but cold and condescending. "Are you religious, dear?"
I looked up, "Should I be?"
"Of course dear, everyone should believe in our Lord and Savior, Jesus
Christ."
"I've never heard of him." I admitted softly.
"Your parents..." She started but she stopped when I looked away. They think silence means it's a subject that hurts too much to talk about. I don't have parents, never did, it didn't hurt. "You look at the Mary portrait though."
I was confused at first, then it hit me, "The Blue Lady?"
"Blue Lady?" She asked, "Yes she wears blue but she is the Virgin Mary."
I swallowed, "My brother Ben, he told us stories about her."
"Was Ben Christian?" She asked.
I shook my head no, "We didn't know who she was, we just had a picture of her. He made up stories for us though." I smiled in memory. The stories had scared me sometimes but thinking of Ben made me happy.
"What kind of stories?" She asked, her voice no longer interested. She was looking to put me down again.
"She would protect our family and watch over us if we were good." I said lowly.
She smiled, as if that had passed her test. "You'll come to church with me on Sunday and you'll accept the Lord as your savior."
"What about the Lady?" I asked.
"Just the Lord." She hissed.
I dropped it. I learned then not to argue with Margie, especially about
church. And NEVER talk about the Lady again.
***
I've been to Psych Ops before. I had gotten mad at Ben for telling a story that made Quin cry. He kept trying to scare her. I told him to stop. Then I punched him. I beat him up. Zack and Eva had to pull me off of him. When the Colonel came in he saw Ben's bloody face and he asked who did it. Jace, being loyal as she was, had pointed to me. No one else was going to tell. But she did.
I spent two weeks in a dark room with no food. Half of the time someone came in and beat me for my insolence. After the two weeks was over I was allowed back to the group. Ben never picked on Quin again and Jace wouldn't look me in the eyes for months.
Psych Ops wasn't fun. Church? Church was worse.
There was a giant statue of the Jesus guy behind this man who told us that everything was bad. Killing was bad. I have killed. Lying was bad. I lied. Everything I had ever done at Manticore or since had been bad. I was gonna go to Hell. Hell was like the Bad Place and the head Nomlie was named Satan. I was scared. Very scared of this Satan guy. He was worse than Lydecker. Maybe Lydecker was Satan. Maybe this "Father" guy that was telling these stories had met Lydecker in a hot place and thought he was Satan. The devil.
And not to mention I had to wear a dress and have little plastic clips in my hair. I felt like an ugly doll but even in this hideous dress I was still beautiful. I will always be beautiful. I was just learning what beauty was. My family had it in spades, as the saying goes. All of us were designed to be pretty.
After church, we drove home in silence. I got out of the car and climbed up into a tree. I thought of my family. Ben would like church, Zack would hate it. Max. she would like it, she liked Ben's stories the most.
I then began to wonder what my family would look like with hair. How they'd look as they got older.
Then there was a loud popping noise. As if everything just shut off at once. People began to yell at things, only to then realize it was bigger than just them. It was much bigger.
I heard Margie and Harold arguing in the house, nothing would work in the house. I could hear the same arguments for blocks. Chaos. A distraction. Someone was coming. I ran up to my room. Changed out of my dress and got on some of my play clothes. I threw everything I liked into a bag and snuck out of my window and ran away.
June was looking to be a good month for me. A very good month.
Rating: R
I sat in my social worker's car. She looked mad, she always looked mad.
"Jonah, please, let this house work out."
I want to correct her, my name isn't Jonah. It's Jondy. But I don't I know she won't like that, it's not a normal name. I press that thought deep into my mind.
"K," I replied.
My gaze goes to the burgundy mini-van in the driveway. There's a sticker on the back. Carla, my social worker, can't read it but I can. It says "God allows u-turns." I don't know who God is but just looking at the sticker lets me know that this house, house number three, won't work out.
I scratch at my hair. It's the longest it's ever been, but it's barely to my eyes. I look up at my bangs, golden blonde. Perfectly golden blonde. But then again, I was designed to be perfect.
Carla finally led me inside the house. I didn't like it. The Martin's, my new family, they had statues of a man nailed to a cross. He reminded me of the Nomlie in the woods. I couldn't look at them. But next to one of the statues was a picture I knew.
I stopped and looked at it, amazed that these people had it in their house. The Blue Lady. I reached up and touched it, I could feel myself smiling. She would protect me here.
I ignored Carla talking about me like I wasn't in the room. "She was caught as a runaway back in February and this is now her third home since."
"Lord above, it's only May." My new mom, Margie, said. My new dad, Harold, grunted.
Carla continued to warn them that I was a wild and rambunctious child that didn't understand a lot of rules, actually I didn't understand a lot. I was a bright kid but most stuff I didn't understand.
I ignored her and I smiled at the Blue Lady. I had found a soldier's home, a family of soldiers. They would report my position to Zack or whoever else was in charge of those of us who escaped, and they would come get me. And I would get to see my unit, my family again.
The Martin's and Carla finished their coffee and Carla left. I very quickly found out that the Martin's were no soldiers.
They were better than the Jeraldi's. The Jeraldi's didn't have enough food or room for all of their kids all the time so I often found myself laying on the floor as I pretended to sleep. My stomach growled a lot there.
They were better then the Ivan'. They were always drunk.
But they were not better by much. Margie let me know straight off that I was at no point to ever call her mom, mommy, or mother unless we were at church or with her church group. I was tempted to ask what church was but I held my tongue.
Harold drank and had a really bad comb over. He was angry a lot. He didn't like the statues in the house either. They were of a man named Jesus Christ. And when Margie was gone he would say mean things to him. Most I didn't understand but he sounded mad, like Lydecker did when someone failed. I tried to stay away from Harold when he was like that.
On my second night there, we were eating dinner. Margie had made pot roast, it smelled really good. She dipped her head and mumbled before she spoke. I listened while she talked. I didn't understand, much like everything else.
She looked up and saw me just sitting there, "Jonah, bow your head."
I did as she said.
"Now say grace." She said.
"Grace." I muttered.
"Jonah!" She hissed. "Say it right."
I leaned over more in embarrassment, my ears turned red, and I sat there in silence.
"Jonah." She hissed again.
"Jesus Christ, Marge. She doesn't know it." Harold said.
Margie was quiet instantly. She finally spoke, her voice soft but cold and condescending. "Are you religious, dear?"
I looked up, "Should I be?"
"Of course dear, everyone should believe in our Lord and Savior, Jesus
Christ."
"I've never heard of him." I admitted softly.
"Your parents..." She started but she stopped when I looked away. They think silence means it's a subject that hurts too much to talk about. I don't have parents, never did, it didn't hurt. "You look at the Mary portrait though."
I was confused at first, then it hit me, "The Blue Lady?"
"Blue Lady?" She asked, "Yes she wears blue but she is the Virgin Mary."
I swallowed, "My brother Ben, he told us stories about her."
"Was Ben Christian?" She asked.
I shook my head no, "We didn't know who she was, we just had a picture of her. He made up stories for us though." I smiled in memory. The stories had scared me sometimes but thinking of Ben made me happy.
"What kind of stories?" She asked, her voice no longer interested. She was looking to put me down again.
"She would protect our family and watch over us if we were good." I said lowly.
She smiled, as if that had passed her test. "You'll come to church with me on Sunday and you'll accept the Lord as your savior."
"What about the Lady?" I asked.
"Just the Lord." She hissed.
I dropped it. I learned then not to argue with Margie, especially about
church. And NEVER talk about the Lady again.
***
I've been to Psych Ops before. I had gotten mad at Ben for telling a story that made Quin cry. He kept trying to scare her. I told him to stop. Then I punched him. I beat him up. Zack and Eva had to pull me off of him. When the Colonel came in he saw Ben's bloody face and he asked who did it. Jace, being loyal as she was, had pointed to me. No one else was going to tell. But she did.
I spent two weeks in a dark room with no food. Half of the time someone came in and beat me for my insolence. After the two weeks was over I was allowed back to the group. Ben never picked on Quin again and Jace wouldn't look me in the eyes for months.
Psych Ops wasn't fun. Church? Church was worse.
There was a giant statue of the Jesus guy behind this man who told us that everything was bad. Killing was bad. I have killed. Lying was bad. I lied. Everything I had ever done at Manticore or since had been bad. I was gonna go to Hell. Hell was like the Bad Place and the head Nomlie was named Satan. I was scared. Very scared of this Satan guy. He was worse than Lydecker. Maybe Lydecker was Satan. Maybe this "Father" guy that was telling these stories had met Lydecker in a hot place and thought he was Satan. The devil.
And not to mention I had to wear a dress and have little plastic clips in my hair. I felt like an ugly doll but even in this hideous dress I was still beautiful. I will always be beautiful. I was just learning what beauty was. My family had it in spades, as the saying goes. All of us were designed to be pretty.
After church, we drove home in silence. I got out of the car and climbed up into a tree. I thought of my family. Ben would like church, Zack would hate it. Max. she would like it, she liked Ben's stories the most.
I then began to wonder what my family would look like with hair. How they'd look as they got older.
Then there was a loud popping noise. As if everything just shut off at once. People began to yell at things, only to then realize it was bigger than just them. It was much bigger.
I heard Margie and Harold arguing in the house, nothing would work in the house. I could hear the same arguments for blocks. Chaos. A distraction. Someone was coming. I ran up to my room. Changed out of my dress and got on some of my play clothes. I threw everything I liked into a bag and snuck out of my window and ran away.
June was looking to be a good month for me. A very good month.