discliamer: i hate having to do this over and over again but i guess i have
to i own none of this crap so dont sue me!!!
Hilo:A Halo Parady
by:Da-bomb-575
BUUUUUUURRRRRRRIIIIPPPP!!!! Master Chief expels noxtious gasses from his ass. "Sorry Cortana," says the Chief, "i shouldn't have had that burrito for lunch". "Damn Chief," Exclaims Cortana, " Light a Match". Just then 12 Covenant grunts bust through the wall. "Hey dude," the grunts say," wanna get high with us, we are so fucking messed up right now, oh by the way are you human or covenant". "Uuhh *cough* Covenant," says Chief." Oh cool wanna get high with us then," the grunts say. The Chief then says "sure".
-3 1/2 hours later-
"PoT!!!!" screams the Chief."Heads!!!!" scream the grunts."Uh huh damn right thats what we are,"the Chief says while laughing his ass off."Hey, ummm you guys wouldn't no if there are any more, ummm Halos do you," the Chief says to the grunts. "Yes, of course there are idiot," the grunts say, " just take four lefts and you'll be there"."But that would put it where we are at right... so we are on one right now!!!," screams the Chief."Of course you jackass,"say the grunts. Master Chief then smokes 2 more joints and leaves to go kick some covenant ass.
After killing all of the covenant in a small valley exept one lone elite a man in white pants and a white leather jacket with sparkly stuff walks up to the Chief and says elvis-ishly ," uuuh huuh, yo Master chief kill the mother fucking elite he stoll my gosh damn money". "Oh my god!!!," says Master Chief ,"its Elvis!!!! but wait you were supposed to be dead like 582 years ago". "Nah man im just a clone," says the elvis clone," now would you please go kick that dude's ass". Master Chief then bashes the elite three times and elvis goes and grabs his money. The Master Chief then walks into the before unnoticed jungle.
While walking through the jungle the chief gets ambushed by a monkey with red eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! demon monkey, demon monkey!!!!," Screams the Master Chief. The monkey then steals the Master Chief's assualt rifle. "Oh my god," screams the Master Chief," a demon monkey stole my assult rifle!!!!". The Master Chief then give's Chase to the monkey and says "Cortana track that stupid possessed.. thing!!!". Master Chief then catches up with the monkey and beats it to a pulp, the monkey then dies. The monkey(after laying dead a few seconds) comes back to life with normal eyes. "Hhhhmmmm, normal monkey," says the Master Chief," you shall be my lacky, Pimppy".
The Chief then finds a ship and starts on the long journy home. "Chief we are running out of gas," screams Cortana.The Chief then eats ten bean burritos (while pop-eye music is playing in the back round) and sticks his ass on the fuel nozzle and lets out a big one BBBRRRRIIIIPPPP!!!!!!!. Ten planets blew up, 50,000,000 people died, and Billions were injured on acount of sky rocketing noxtious gas levels. The Chief then gets home and begins therapy.
THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER ONE BUT THERE IS STILL CHAPTER TWO AND IF YOU DONT READ IT IM GONNA BE MAD AS HELL SO :p
Hilo:A Halo Parady
by:Da-bomb-575
BUUUUUUURRRRRRRIIIIPPPP!!!! Master Chief expels noxtious gasses from his ass. "Sorry Cortana," says the Chief, "i shouldn't have had that burrito for lunch". "Damn Chief," Exclaims Cortana, " Light a Match". Just then 12 Covenant grunts bust through the wall. "Hey dude," the grunts say," wanna get high with us, we are so fucking messed up right now, oh by the way are you human or covenant". "Uuhh *cough* Covenant," says Chief." Oh cool wanna get high with us then," the grunts say. The Chief then says "sure".
-3 1/2 hours later-
"PoT!!!!" screams the Chief."Heads!!!!" scream the grunts."Uh huh damn right thats what we are,"the Chief says while laughing his ass off."Hey, ummm you guys wouldn't no if there are any more, ummm Halos do you," the Chief says to the grunts. "Yes, of course there are idiot," the grunts say, " just take four lefts and you'll be there"."But that would put it where we are at right... so we are on one right now!!!," screams the Chief."Of course you jackass,"say the grunts. Master Chief then smokes 2 more joints and leaves to go kick some covenant ass.
After killing all of the covenant in a small valley exept one lone elite a man in white pants and a white leather jacket with sparkly stuff walks up to the Chief and says elvis-ishly ," uuuh huuh, yo Master chief kill the mother fucking elite he stoll my gosh damn money". "Oh my god!!!," says Master Chief ,"its Elvis!!!! but wait you were supposed to be dead like 582 years ago". "Nah man im just a clone," says the elvis clone," now would you please go kick that dude's ass". Master Chief then bashes the elite three times and elvis goes and grabs his money. The Master Chief then walks into the before unnoticed jungle.
While walking through the jungle the chief gets ambushed by a monkey with red eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAHH!!! demon monkey, demon monkey!!!!," Screams the Master Chief. The monkey then steals the Master Chief's assualt rifle. "Oh my god," screams the Master Chief," a demon monkey stole my assult rifle!!!!". The Master Chief then give's Chase to the monkey and says "Cortana track that stupid possessed.. thing!!!". Master Chief then catches up with the monkey and beats it to a pulp, the monkey then dies. The monkey(after laying dead a few seconds) comes back to life with normal eyes. "Hhhhmmmm, normal monkey," says the Master Chief," you shall be my lacky, Pimppy".
The Chief then finds a ship and starts on the long journy home. "Chief we are running out of gas," screams Cortana.The Chief then eats ten bean burritos (while pop-eye music is playing in the back round) and sticks his ass on the fuel nozzle and lets out a big one BBBRRRRIIIIPPPP!!!!!!!. Ten planets blew up, 50,000,000 people died, and Billions were injured on acount of sky rocketing noxtious gas levels. The Chief then gets home and begins therapy.
THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER ONE BUT THERE IS STILL CHAPTER TWO AND IF YOU DONT READ IT IM GONNA BE MAD AS HELL SO :p