WTH!
Chapter 1 "Lightning Bolts and Bad Jokes."
This is something I came up with quite a long time ago, and started, but my computer got rebooted and it all got erased. But that's ok! This versions going to be a lot better, and I have a ton of ideas for it so it won't fizzle out soon like my other fics. Hopefully this will also be more popular (hint-hint review hint-hint) and very funny.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7 nor any of it's conglomerates.
Kira Stevens walked home through the rain from school. She had long blue-black hair, blue eyes, and glasses. She might have been called pretty. Pretty, that is, if she wasn't walking through pouring rain with nothing but a jean jacket over her clothes and no umbrella. Needless to say, she wasn't in a good mood.
Damn weathermen! They know nothing! Sunny with variable clouds my ass! Kira thought to herself. She hadn't even been able to call her mom because she didn't have any quarters. And of course the secretaries wouldn't let her use the school phones unless it was an "emergency". Obviously flooding streets and raindrops the size of marbles didn't constitute as an emergency! Oh yeah, Kira was pissed. Not to mention freezing cold and wet as a waterlogged cat.
Well at least this put off facing her mother a little longer. Kira's mother was not a witch. Just the contrary. That's why Kira hated to disappoint her so much. Kira had failed yet another math assignment. If her mother had picked her up, Kira would have gotten in the car, Mrs. Stevens would ask how her day went, and other her mother's severe scrutiny, Kira would have to tell the truth. Her mother would then turn stone cold, mouth drawn into a tight line, and look straight ahead at the road. This was Kira's fear. She would take yelling over that awkward silence any day.
Unfortunately, this is only a temporary relief. I'm going to have to face her when I get home. Kira sighed heavily and shivered. She looked up and saw her house a few hundred yards ahead of her on the street. She trudged toward it downheartedly. She walked up to her porch and stood in front of her door, trying to phrase something to say. Then she steeled her shoulders and opened her front door.
"Mom? I'm home." Kira called into the dark hallway. She walked into her kitchen and noticed a note on the table. It was in her mother's handwriting:
Hey honey. I won't be back until late tonight, work got piled up, but I left some money for you to get a pizza. Kerri and Kris are playing, so you can do something for a while until supper. When I get home, you can tell me how your math assignment went.
"Oh great, she remembered. Oh well, I can play Final Fantasy for a while." Kira walked down the hall to the stairway, first checking on Kerri, her ten year old sister, and Kris, her 5 year old brother, to make sure they were ok. They didn't even acknowledge her presence, so she figured they were fine. She went upstairs to her room and sat on her bed. She turned on the TV and put Final Fantasy 7 into her PS2. She had almost beaten the game, getting all the limit breaks, weapons and beating the killer Weapons. Now she figured she was ready to take on Sephiroth and finish the game. Outside the rain had slowed down, but there was an ominous rumbling coming from the north. That wasn't good, but Kira believed she had enough time to beat the game before the storm hit.
She got to the bottom of Northern Crater, and started the battle against Jenova Absolute. "Good God, how many times do I have to kill this bitch!" Kira muttered to herself. She killed Jenova easily. Bizarro Sephiroth followed and he was easy as well. Then came One Winged Angel, the final boss, who was tricky with Supernova and Pale Horse, but was quickly dealt with. "That was it! He was easy! I did all that work for nothing." Kira cried. She watched the final scene a bit miffed, but mellowed as she watched. Right near the very end, there was a huge flash of lightning and deafening thunder. Kira decided it was best to put the game away now, but right as she reached for the off button, there was an electrical charge and she was thrown back wards. She hit her head and everything went dark. As she lost consciousness, she saw dark silhouettes moving around, whispering, but she couldn't make out who they were. Then she was gone.
Kira awoke on her bed, which was weird, because she didn't remember landing there. She sat up and her head felt like it was breaking in two, but it was just a major goose egg where she hit it on her bed post. She rubbed it tenderly, and opened her eyes cautiously. That's when she noticed her TV.
"Oh No!" Her beautiful, lovely TV had exploded from the inside. Now she knew why you didn't have a TV on during a storm! "Oh God, Mom's going to kill me!" Then she suddenly thought of her PS2. She looked at it and sighed in relief. It was unharmed, not even a scratch on it's black surface. She didn't stop to think why, seeing as it was hooked up to the TV, she was so happy she felt like kissing it. Now her mother was only going to kill her half as much.
After getting over the elation of her unscathed PS2, she headed downstairs. Lightning hit the house, and she had to make sure Kerri and Kris were all right. What if they had the TV on when it hit, what if they got hurt! Her pace picked up quite a bit. She got down to the living room without breaking her neck, and ran in. "Kerri, Kris are you alright!" She found them scared but unhurt, and Kris was babbling something about a kitty. Kira hugged them both soundly and checked them over. She couldn't get Kris to stop about this kitty, and the story was getting worse.
"The Kitty came to save us, Kiwa. He stopped the lightning!" Kris cried. Kerri was nodding her head in agreement. Kira didn't know what to say, they were both so convinced of their story. She tried to calm them down, deciding the flash from the lightning must have made them see things, and asked them if they want something to drink. Maybe if I can distract them with something, they'll be able to speak more clearly. She checked to see how long she had been out, and surprisingly it was only 30 minutes.
She unhooked their little hands from her arms, telling them she'd only be gone a few minutes, and walked toward the kitchen. This has certainly been an interesting night, and not in a good way. She stepped into the kitchen and froze. There was a very large man looking in her refrigerator! He was black, about six feet tall, and when he shifted, Kira noticed, in her fear stalled brain, that he had a very large gun!
Oh God, he's going to murder us, or rob us, or rape us! I got to get Kerri and Kris out of here! She stepped back out of the room as slowly as she could, hoping not to catch the man's attention. She did a 180 when clear of the door and ran as hard as she could to the living room. She grabbed Kerri and Kris by the wrist, hardly stopping, and pulled them forcefully toward the front door. The man had noticed her now, and was chasing after them, gun in hand. Kira almost froze looking back, and started working the doorknob. Oh God, help us please! Kira screamed in her mind, her shaking hands turning the doorknob ever so slowly. Finally, it opened, and her and her siblings ran full tilt out into their front yard.
"Someone help us, please!" She screamed. Seeing someone in the garden, a woman, she ran toward them. The man wasn't chasing them anymore, but Kira remembered his gun, and didn't stop.
"Whoa, wait a second! What's happening!" The woman cried, stopping them before they ran into her. Her voice was pretty, very musical.
"T-There's a man. He's in my house. Has a gun!" Kira gasped out, adrenaline pumping. She was just waiting to hear a gunshot.
"Oh that's just Barret, or possibly Vincent!" The woman giggled, "Could you describe him? Gave you quite a scare I see." She looked over Kira's shoulder and waved, "Oh it's just Barret! Don't worry, he's not as scary as he looks."
"Wha..." Kira stared at this woman. Was she in league with that big guy? Then the names she referred to clicked in her head. Oh My God. Vincent, Barret. FF7. Kira looked at the woman closer this time. She was Kira's height, with incredibly long brown hair, and a pink dress. Her hair was in a braid.
"Whoa there!" Aeris caught Kira as she fell, her knees giving out, "Yo Barret, give me some help, please!"
"Sure thing." The big man came over. Barret, ah yes, I see. Gun attached to arm. Stupid Kira. Kira thought rather incoherently. Barret lay her gently on the ground. Kris and Kerri looked down at her in concern. She laughed a bit hysterically. I'm ten and five years older than them, and I'm the one fainting. She looked back at the videogame heroes. They looked exactly like she thought they would, except Barret was a little scarier. This is a dream, or the lightning bolt scrambled my brain. Hee hee, scrambled brain.
Aeris and Barret were talking, "Hey Aeris, you died. Sephiroth killed you."
"Thanks, I knew that. My body was dead, but my spirit was there the whole time, I just didn't have a physical form. Sephiroth should have known that it wasn't that easy to kill an Ancient. But, somehow, when this whole thing happened, and we were brought here, I got my body back." She replied.
"Whoa, weird. Cloud's gonna freak. So, you know where we are?" Barret asked hopefully, "Cause I don't have a clue."
"Neither do I, but I think she does. She was the one there when we came through." Aeris looked at Kira thoughtfully, "She must have very strong magic to bring us wherever 'here' is."
Kira heard this and laughed, "Me, ha! I don't have any magic. Just way too much imagination!" Kira stood up, her weakness gone, "Are you really who you say you are, or just really crazed fans dressed up?"
"Fans? What are you talking about? I'm Aeris and this is Barret. He's human and I'm an Ancient. Why is this so hard to understand?" Aeris asked, obviously confused, "You brought us here, didn't you?"
"No! You aren't real! You're my fried brain or something!" Kira stood there staring at them. No one said anything. Kris walked over to Aeris.
"You're pretty! I like your hair." He tugged on her dress, "I think you're weal."
"If we really are a figment of your insanity, which I don't think we are, what are you going to do about it?" Barret asked, "You can't just make us leave. I personally want to know where we are!"
"Good point..." Kira responded reluctantly. If this was her imagination, why not go with it, "Well, I don't think your my screwed brain either. This is way to crazed even for my mind. To start with, I don't know why you're here. It was some accident. A lightning bolt struck my house and somehow you were there." She left the "your from a game!" part out for now.
"Hmmm, well, this is not my world. Similar, but also different. The very Planet has changed. Is this an alternate universe?" Aeris wondered.
"Maybe, how should I know?" Kira lied, "Well, I better take Kris and Kerri inside. See ya!" She started walking towards the house. She had to get away from this craziness, real or not.
"Umm, but what about the others?" Barret called. Kira turned around very slowly.
"Others?" Kira's heart froze. No, don't tell me...
"Yes, the rest of our group came with us. They are all still inside." Aeris said sheepishly. "When we arrived, we had no where to go, and you were unconscious, so we kind of explored around your house. That's probably why you found Barret. He was looking for food."
"All of you? The whole group?" Kira squeaked. Aeris nodded. You know, if this is a dream, it can end any time now!
Uh oh, this doesn't look good for Kira! Sorry for the cliffhanger, but this was already five pages long and I'm no where's done what I thought I would get done in the first chapter. The second will be up soon though, and hopefully will be funnier than this one. Now I'm really tired and am going to go to bed. Read and Review Everyone!
Morganna