AN: I worked on this for awhile and then forgot about it. So if it seems like a different tone of voice in the story near the end, it's because I picked this up a few months after I started writing it. I didn't quite like the first version I posted. I wanted to elaborate some more. So here you go! A redux for you all to enjoy…hopefully.
In all honesty he shouldn't be thinking of her this way. She was a solider. A weapon of war. . . She, he thought, was a full-fledged murderer who likely didn't lose any sleep over the atrocities that she's committed in her recent past. While he was at school learning mathematics and laughing with friends, she was on the battlefield. Ending other humans' lives and spreading destruction across the land.
It wasn't as if he hated her though. No. Naegi didn't think he could ever hate anyone. He just couldn't understand how someone could willingly throw themselves to the wolves time and again to be used. He couldn't fathom why a human would want to kill another over something as pointless as a difference in opinion.
Naegi couldn't help but feel an inky-black slickness spread inside him whenever he thought about the untold horrors Mukuro Ikusaba had caused and endured. It made him sick to his stomach.
But, he half-lamented, he couldn't help but feel an attraction to her. Maybe it was something as superficial as her adorable freckles he noticed every time he turned in her direction. Maybe it was her stoicism that blocked any and all traces of her could-have-been warmth from escaping through her expressions, proving that she had suffered some kind of emotional damage bad enough that she had to shut herself off as protection. Proving, Naegi thought, that there was a beautiful human underneath that impossibly cold exterior.
In the past, he's only held short greetings with Mukuro. A few passing "Hello"s and "How are you doing?"s accompanied with a smile( on his part of course). But that's all it took for her to be rooted into his consciousness and to torture his thoughts these past few weeks in Kibougamine Academy.
It's been getting to the point where the others in his class were starting to take notice. Just yesterday he caught Hagakure (Hagakure of all people!) sending him a strange look during homeroom. Knowing Kirigiri and Togami they've probably already picked up on it too.
This offered its own unique problem in-and-of itself. Due to the fact that everyone at Kibougamine lived in dorms provided by their headmaster, Jin Kirigiri, rumors spread like wildfire. If anyone with a penitent for rumors (Like Junko-san) were to notice his slightly out of the norm actions, they'd likely make up the most outlandish thing possible and then he'd have to live with it for the rest of his school life and he's PRETTY sure it'd be worse than that time in Elementary school when his classmate said he had a crush on Kuchisake-Onna.
And that was a terrible, terrible time.
"Today" Naegi resolved, " I need to talk with Mukuro."
"H-Hey, Ikusaba-san!" Naegi softly called out. It was after school and the bell rang awhile ago. The class was almost eerily silent as opposed to how lively and exciting it was a few hours ago. The only noise besides the cheerful yelling and screaming of the track team outside and silent ticking of the clock was the furious scribbling of Mukuro's pencil on paper that only seemed to get louder and louder the longer he stayed in the near-empty classroom.
"Yes, Naegi-kun?" He gave a jolt when her smooth and even voice washed over him. She didn't even raise her head from her downward gaze.
"U-umm… Can I ask you a question?"
"I was under the impression you just did so." Naegi felt a flush of embarrassment consume him.
"Heheh, yeah. I supposed I did." Was his admittedly lame retort. Naegi continued. "I understand if you don't want to answer me but why did you join Fenrir?"
The impossibly loud noise of Mukuro's scribbling suddenly stopped and he could feel a strange tenseness radiating from her even though he didn't see an outward reaction besides the stopping of her writing. Slowly, she raised her head and finally looked in his direction. His heart missed a beat when she gave an ever so slight tilt of her head.
"Is this why you decided to stay after class?" Mukuro's stoic voice cut through the air like a hot knife. It made Naegi feel all the more nervous.
"Y-yeah. I noticed you don't talk to anyone besides Junko so I just thought.." His voice trailed off into silence. "I don't know what I was thinking. Why did I talk to her? She probably doesn't like talking about such a personal thing" Naegi thought.
"…"
Mukuro silently stared at him.
The tick-tock of the clock gave a hypnotizing rhythm in the uncomfortable silence that came into being. Another minute passed in silence.
"Ahahaha. That's okay, Ikusaba-san. You don't have to answer if you don't want to!" Naegi quickly started to push the evidence of his school day into his bag. "I understand it might be something really personal that you don't want to talk about." He was standing now. "I've made this really awkward now, haven't I? Sorry. Just forget I asked anything." Naegi slung his backpack began his trek out of the room with a quickness about him.
"Wait." Mukuro ordered. Her sharp gray eyes locked onto him with askance. He felt almost like they were probing him. Searching for some sort of ulterior motive to him asking.
Slowly, Naegi made his way back to his seat.
"Fighting is all I was ever good at." She started. "Junko and I did not grow up in the safest of environments. Other children and even adults attacked us for what little we had. From a few scraps of food to our torn up blankets we use to sleep with at night."
By now Naegi was sitting down in his seat and listening vapidly to Mukuro's tale.
"I did what I had to do to make sure Junko made it through. I fought and I was good at it. Eventually, the kids stopped attacking us and the adults kept their distance. It was rare but I did have to kill a few times to survive. To make sure Junko survived." Naegi's sharp breath resonated through the air.
"Eventually when we got older, I foolishly left Junko by herself and joined a PMC. They trained me and in turn I fought for them." Mukuro's voiced droned on. "After my contract with the company ended I joined Fenrir. They held no reservations in taking me in and I held no reservations on the battlefields they sent me to. Was this story satisfactory to you?"
Her voice from beginning to end was steady. No signs of wavering. She spoke calmly and articulately. Naegi sorta' envied her for the way she spoke alone.
"I see..." He didn't. He really didn't. He could never understand the trauma of Mukuro and Junko's childhood when he compared it to how his childhood was. He couldn't imagine not having his mother, father, or sister there all the time when he was a kid. Not having any food to eat or a roof over his head. " So this is the Super Duper High School Level Soldier. I was…wrong to judge her how I did. Fighting and surviving was all she knew. She didn't even have a chance to be anything else.
"I envy your strength, Ikusaba-san. I don't think I could have done what you did. Killing people…I still don't understand how you could have ever done such a thing but… Thank you, for being able to trust me with this." His tone was lighthearted for a conversation that carried such weight.
He offered her a small, kindly smile. "I'll see you at class tomorrow, Ikusaba-san." Once again he stood up and began to leave the classroom. Only to be interrupted for a second time.
"Do you not find it reprehensible?" Her smooth voice questioned him. "The fact that I've killed people? Numerous people?" Her beautiful gray eyes that never left his since the beginning of her tale was still trained on him.
Naegi stopped and turned back towards her, once again, offering a small smile. "Truthfully, Ikusaba-san, I…dislike the waste of life. I don't like wars. I find them pointless. But-"Naegi hesitated for a slight moment. "-I don't blame you for joining the military and Fenrir. I did not grow up even remotely close to how you did. I have no right to judge you for your choices. I can only be thankful that you're still here so that you might later learn to do something besides fight. You're a brilliant person in my opinion, Ikusaba-san. I think you could do anything that you set your mind to!" His small smile turned into a bright billion-watt beam.
Mukuro's eyes slightly widened. " His smile… no one had ever smiled at her before with such honesty and intensity. He truly believed what he said. He truly…believed in her. Her body tensed and she felt a sudden faint heat brush against her cheeks. With eyes ever so slightly downcast, she spoke. "I…Thank you, Naegi-kun, for your kind words."
Naegi laughed in response and brushed off her rare words of gratefulness. "It's nothing. I admire you for being able to go through what you did and still pull ahead."
His kind words reverberated throughout her entire being and shook her to her core. " What is this? Why…is he being so nice to me all of a sudden?" For a fleeting second she couldn't help but think maybe Junko put him behind this. She wouldn't put it past her. To have Naegi come to her under unknowingly-false pretenses and befriend her, make her drop her guard and then strike with some well-placed words and a unfortunate sudden death. It seemed the most likely outcome but Mukuro didn't want to believe it. Junko had no reason to have Naegi of all people come talk to her. She had to make sure though.
"By chance, Naegi-kun, did Junko have you come talk to me?" She coolly questioned him. Naegi gazed at her puzzlingly for a second before he replied with a negative. "I see…"
Silence reigned once again.
It almost seemed like time stopped in the small classroom Naegi and Mukuro found themselves in. Neither one of them moved for what seemed like the longest while.
Naegi's voice broke through the content silence. "Ah, it's getting late Ikusaba-san. We should be going back to the dorms soon." He smiled for what seemed the umpteenth time before he stopped in the doorway and offered his arm in a grand gesture. "Can I walk you back?"
Mukuro blinked owlishly before methodically placing her things back in her bag. As she was taking slow, deliberate steps towards the encroaching figure of Naegi, she felt another flush of emotion dust her cheeks.
"You've been loitering around me a lot recently. Is there a reason?"
They were once again in class 78s room after school. The warm orange glow of the sun was streaming into the barren learning area and reminded Naegi of the conversation they held in the exact same room not even two weeks ago.
"I've got another question to ask you, Ikusaba-san."
Mukuro tilted her head inquisitively. Her steely gray eyes and expressionless face remained the same and Naegi couldn't help but feel the slightest bit let down. Although he's had a handful of small chats with her since "The big one" a few weeks ago they didn't talk about anything even remotely close to as meaningful as they did then. Just small meaningless stuff like "Hey, Ikusaba-san! How do you think you did on the test today?" or "Ikusaba-san, do you think you could help me with a problem on our English homework?". Small things. But it was a definite change over their non-existent relationship from before.
"What is it you would like to ask, Naegi-kun?" A small smile grew and his cheeks turned the faintest of red from his blushing. Recently, just hearing her say his name bought on this reaction. His curiosity and infatuation with her only grew more during each of their conversations.
"Have you ever had a crush?"
Mukuro's face slackened and for a split second, Naegi could see the surprise register on her face before it was quickly secreted away and replaced with her patented stoic face.
"Why do you ask?" He wasn't sure, but he thought he noticed a small fidget.
"Ah, I guess I'm just curious?"
"I don't know." Naegi rose an eyebrow in confusion.
"I do not know if I have ever had a crush on someone. I am not well versed in such matters."
"…May I ask you a question in turn, Naegi-kun?
"Yeah, sure! I don't mind at all." His words radiated a sense of security Mukuro was she sure she had never felt before in her life.
Her mouth felt dry forcing her to swallow a glob of spit before she could open her mouth.
"…Have…have you ever had a crush? No. Rather, do you have a current object of desire?" Her words came out softly but the impact behind it was akin to a brick.
Naegi attempted to throw off his feelings of awkwardness by barking out a boisterous laugh coupled with rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
"Well, I did say you could ask a question it turn, didn't I? I think I do. I can't be sure because I don't know much about her right now. But from what I do know about her I can safely say she's the most unique and intriguing person that I have ever had the pleasure to meet!" He ended his answer with a hopefully meaningful look aimed at Mukuro.
"I see." He noticed a very minimal pursing of her lips when she said that. "May I inquire whom it is you hold in such high regards?" Her tone was still light but there was a definite hardening behind her voice.
" I hadn't noticed Naegi-kun was so close with another...is it Kirigitsu-san? Or.. She couldn't help but shiver at the other possibility that came to mind. While she had all but abolished the thought that her sister put Naegi up to talking to her, she still could have manipulated these series of events. Her…increasing fondness towards him could have been taken in account. Junko could have sunken her perfectly manicured claws into Naegi's heart without her even knowing it.
Naegi's voice broke her out of her introspection.
"Well, how about I give you some hints instead of an outright answer?" At her visibly reluctant nod, he continued. "Hmm, she goes to this school of course, she's always polite to others around her, she looks beautiful, she…has freckles-"
Mukuro's eyes narrowed at this point. Even though Junko typically covered up her freckles with an over-abundance of makeup, she still had them and even though she always says otherwise, some days, her makeup just can't fully cover up those devilish little spots on her face.
"-and she has a sister attending the school with her." Naegi finished listing off his hints with a smile, unknowingly sending a jolt of pain and a flush of warmth down Mukuro's core.
"Junko." She spoke coldly. Meeting his shocked gaze with her own blank façade, she elaborated. "You are currently infatuated with my sister, Junko. She's the only one who fits the parameters." A tense shock-induced silence was made dominant in the room.
"I knew it. I should have never continued to associate with Naegi after he broke his normal routine and engaged me in conversation." This was all a part of Junko's plan. Despair in everything and what Junko wants…Junko gets. Even if that meant she got Naegi instead of her.
"Uh, haha. I-I don't really know how to say this Ikusaba-san, but you guessed wrong." The tense atmosphere immediately vanished and left a confused Mukuro behind.
"I…see?" her normal phrase held a slight questioning tone. But besides herself, only Junko had a sister at the school and while she was far from kind, she was always polite to others in public. Unlike herself who didn't even associate with the majority of her classmates on anything resembling a regular basis.
"Hahaha!" Naegi's gut wrenching laughter resounded throughout the room. "Forgive me, Ikusaba-san." His chuckles continued throughout his attempt at making conversation. "But I've never seen that look on your face before!"
Mukuro felt a small bit of irritation rise up when he admitted to laughing at her expense.
"Ah, geez, Ikusaba-san. Do I really have to say it? By process of elimination there's only one person left who fits what I listed." He beamed at her as her heart stopped, her face flushed, and her eyebrows furrowed.
"But…you said beautiful…I'm not-" Naegi never heard her sound so meek before. So…vulnerable. To think; he use to doubt the fact she was actually a person underneath her outward appearance.
"On the contrary! I find you to be very beautiful, Ikusaba-san, even more than Enoshima-san in my opinion! You shouldn't put yourself down like that."
He could practically see her heart working overtime as it pumped out the blood that kept her face flushed like a tomato. From the looks of it, it was even beginning to reach her neck a bit.
"More beautiful than….Junko? She had never been more…ANYTHING than Junko before in her life. She was the smart one, the pretty one, the popular one. The only thing she was ever good for was fighting. She was a tool to be used. A trigger to be pulled at her behest. But now…."He thinks…I'm more beautiful than Junko…?" The feeling that was coursing throughout her body was a mixture of elation, nervousness, embarrassment and disbelief.
"I...must confess I did not expect you to hold any measure of amorousness towards me. " She felt her face heat up. A small, light dust of pink splattered across her freckles in contrast with her normally pale skin.
"But I do not have any objections to such a thing." Mukuro's eyes went downcast for the briefest of seconds before flickering back upwards to meet Naegi's exuberant ones
"Really, Ikusaba-san?!" At her quick, jerky nod, he let loose an impossibly wide smile.
A pungent pause in the discussion turned the warm conversation into an awkward waiting game to see who'd break the ice first.
The ticking clock rung out ever presently in the largely empty classroom.
Naegi nervously rubbed his earlobe.
Mukuro continued to stare silently.
"Mukuro." Her name slipped from her lips breaking the suffocating silence.
"Eh?" A confused rebuttal if there were one.
"I would not mind if you were to address me in a more informal way given your...interest in me." Her voice remained quiet. As if speaking any louder would break this moment into a million pieces.
"Hmm. Are you sure you're okay with that...Mukuro-san?" Naegi could hear her breath hitch before another jerky nod was presented.
A warmth spread throughout his body at her affirmation.
"Then...I have another question to ask you. That is, if you wouldn't mind, Mukuro-san!" His heart pounded in his ears. This would be the first time he ever did anything like this and he could just feel his nerves bundling together, tensing and making him feel altogether uncomfortable.
"What is it?" A glint of confusion reflected in her eyes at his words and it just made Naegi's stomach clinch even more.
"Well... earlier I asked If you ever had a crush...Well...do you have one now? Is there someone you find interesting or someone that you'd like to get closer to? Her sharp eyes widened slightly before another layer of light pink dusted across her freckled cheeks.
"Are you asking if I reciprocate your feelings toward me, Naegi-san?" Her voice, in still the same quiet and subdued tone as before, rang out.
Naegi scrunched up his face in embarrassment before quickly realizing that a girl might not find that expression flattering to see. A semi-muffled yes leave his mouth before he could stop it in a futile attempt to steer the conversation away.
"..." No words were said between the two blushing teenagers.
"Ah...you..you don't have to reply right now or anything! It was just a question." Naegi's mouth spewed out some words in quick succession to try to reel the mess he got himself into in.
"..." Still she said nothing. Her eyes never left his frame though. He had the distinct feeling that she was watching him. Studying his body language.
Finally she opened her mouth to speak. "I...I hold a certain interest in your well-being. I find your kindness in this situation we're in to be intriguing and at times I find myself wishing to better know the motives behind your endless politeness in the face of these trying times." Her words were like a gentle storm.
"I find you interesting. You...invoke things within me that I haven't felt before..." Naegi's nerves slowly started to un-bundle and his stomach stopped clinching. This was it. It was now or never
"Then..Mukuro-san. Would you like to go out on a date with me?" His face radiated heat from his very pores. He could already tell he must have looked something akin to a tomato. A tentative smile graced his face in hopes of a positive reply.
"A...date?" Her brain felt like it was going to shut down. She never thought a situation like this would ever occur in her life. Junko had always said-
Junko.
The elation she felt died once her name cross her thoughts. She would never abide this. She cares only for feeling and inflicting despair on others.
She would tarnish Naegi.
She would kill him like she had killed so many others.
"I...can't." The words she so painstakingly forced out were like sharp daggers jabbing her in her stomach over and over again.
"W-why not?" His smile was gone now. Replaced with a downtrodden look that projected the aura of a kicked puppy that was left in the rain.
"Junko. She...she would not approve of this." Against the odds. That's what she was. Junko was a force of nature. Something that couldn't be stopped by normal means. She was above even the Super High School Level students.
"Junko? His confused and pained voice spoke. "What does Junko have to do with this?"
Mukuro silently shook her head. What does Junko have to do with this?What doesn't Junko have to do with this? She controls the world outside. She controls the school. Even if the principal doesn't know it yet. She controls her.
"Junko...Junko is not one to be trifled with, Naegi-kun. It would be...best. Best for us both if you do not bring this up again." If it were possible her voice got even quieter. So quiet that the tick-tocks of the clock occasionally almost smothered her words out.
"Listen. I-I don't know what you're talking about within Junko! Sure she looks a bit stuck up, but I don't think she's a bad person."
There is more going on than what you know, Naegi. She wished she could tell him what was in store for him and his friends. But Junko...
Junko.
It always boiled down to her, didn't it?
"It'd just be one date! If...if you don't want to go out then we won't. But at least let me take you out on one date!" Naegi realized he might have sounded a tad desperate but this was his chance. This was, what It felt like, his only chance.
Silence encompassed the room once more.
The two teenagers refused to meet each others eyes. The very air in the room was stiffing them.
One...date. She rationalized. Just one. She could entertain his attachment just once before it was ended. They could both be themselves around each other once before they returned to casual friends. Anything more than that was dangerous for him. Even this one time was beyond dangerous. If Junko were to find out...she didn't want to think of the repercussions.
But...she thought.
Even if it was incredibly selfish of her...Just once.
"Yes." Her voice swept across the room.
Naegi's hopeful look returned with force.
"Then...we can..?" He was hesitant and he was fairly sure he looked a lot less manly then what he would like to at this point.
"Yes."
And suddenly. He let loose a smile the brighten up the very room itself.
And Mukuro couldn't help but think that even if they were doing something incredibly dangerous. Something downright stupid. That as long as he smiled like that...
That she did the right thing.
End AN: Whew. Sorry it took so long to get this out. But I hope you all enjoyed it! Leave some feedback to help me grow pls.
I love this fandom a lot, so I think I might make a few more drabbles/One-shots later on if you guys like my writing style!