Title: Fear
Author: DarkDreamer56
Archive: If you want it, ask please!
Rating: PG-13, for language
Pairing: N/S
Disclaimer: If I owned them, this swing shift nonsense would be long over…
Spoilers: Season 5 general spoilers
A/N: I know that the whole "Sara was abused" stories have been done many, many times. Still, I think that there is some truth to them, and with the upcoming ep on Thursday, I had to get this off my chest. Plus, it probably doesn't help that I tend to be an angst whore, who loves to see her favorite television characters floating about in the sea of emotional wreckage. I promise the next one will be extra fluffy! (I'm thinking about extending Child's Play, so the next chapter to that should be up in a few days). As always, please let me know what you think by clicking that lovely review button at the bottom of the page. This will probably have one more part. Enjoy!
"Listen bitch, just because some guy messed you up, doesn't mean I hurt Adriana."
Nick saw her determination falter, and he knew. He didn't know who, or when, but it had happened. It was only a split second, but the fear that flashed in her eyes during that one second told him more than she ever had. She was afraid, a stranger calling her on something no one else dare ask about, terrified that he could read her so easily.
Still, she was a pro at appearing in control, and she slid back into it as easily as she had slipped out. Steely gaze, mouth set with a wry smirk, she gave no other outward indication that she had been shaken.
"Well, Mr. Harris, here's the problem. You say one thing, but the evidence is telling us something else. And no offense, but I'm going to have to go with the evidence on this one. DNA doesn't lie. You're going away for a long time."
With that, Nick watched her push away from the table and exit the interrogation room, door slamming loudly behind her. Nick glanced across the table at Mr. Harris, who appeared to be unfazed by her declaration. He had to fight the urge begging him to wipe the smile from Matthew Harris's face, choosing instead to speak carefully before following her out.
"First of all, Mr. Harris, you need to learn how to speak properly to a lady. Second of all, she's right. We've got you, we don't need a confession. Go ahead and cling to that story, because all it's going to get you is life in prison."
He found her leaning against a wall near the water fountain, eyes closed and arms crossed over her chest. Nick settled in next to her, mimicking her stance while facing her.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Talk about what?" Sara asked, not even bothering to open her eyes.
Nick sighed and ran a hand over his buzz cut. He and Sara had done this dance many times before. For years, they'd all had their suspicions, but they always kept their vocalized concerns to things like her trouble remembering to eat, sleep, or have a life outside of the lab. Things she might actually listen to too. No one yet had dared to tackle what was likely the cause of all these other problems.
"What Harris said to you…"
"What about it?" she interrupted tersely. This time her eyes opened and Nick saw the fear of being discovered once again flash in her eyes. "It was nothing."
Nick took a deep breath before responding. Sara was quickly going into defensive mode, which meant that he would probably only get this one chance before she stalked away, or shut him out completely.
"No Sara, it was something. A lot, actually. I'm sorry that you had to hear from a suspect what everyone has been afraid to ask you about for years. And I'm sorry that you feel you can't talk to any of us about it. But I wish you would talk to someone."
Her eyes widened in surprise, and Nick could tell she was grappling for an answer. She finally settled on flat out denial. "You're wrong, Nick. I'm fine, nothing's wrong."
"Do you really expect me to believe that? I saw your face Sara, and I've known you for almost five years. Don't feed me the bullshit party line."
She was getting angry now, the spark in her eyes was a fury usually reserved for only the most despicable suspects they came into contact with. But she was still talking to him. "Look Nick, you have no idea what you're talking about. I suggest you drop it, now." She tried to push past Nick, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back into the argument, and garnering a few stares from passersby.
"I know exactly what I'm talking about. For years, whenever someone gets too close to the truth, you push them away, or you outright deflect the argument. And we've let you. Never wanted to push you too far. But really Sara, that's over. I'm not gonna let you do this anymore. You've got to talk to somebody, why can't it be someone that already cares about you?"
"Can you not do this here?" she hissed, trying to pull her wrist from his grip.
"Where do you suggest we do this then?" he shot back, albeit in a slightly lower voice. "See, you expect to storm off now, and leave me here, pissed. You think that'll stop me from bringing it up again later. And I'm sorry that it's happened in the past, but not this time. Go clock out, this conversation is far from over."
"You couldn't drag me out of here if you wanted to." Her eyes dared him to try.
"I won't have to. Listen, either you come with me, and we talk about this, civilly, or I'll go to Ecklie." Nick knew that was a low blow, but he didn't know what else would work. Technically Nick should go to Grissom first, but Grissom liked to believe that nothing was wrong, and even if he bothered talking to Sara, it wouldn't do any good.
"And tell him what?" she smirked. "I didn't do anything wrong in there. I'm fine Nick."
"I'll tell him the truth. That I'm worried about you, that you're a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and that you refuse to let anyone help you."
"You wouldn't dare." The defiant glare in her eyes would cause most men to back off, but Nick wasn't most men.
He returned her glare with equal defiance, refusing to give her an inch. An inch meant that she had won, and any more victories might just kill her. "I think you know me better than that. Now, you can meet me at my car in ten minutes, or I'll be waiting outside Ecklie's office when he comes in."
Sara gave him one last glare before wrenching her arm away and storming off. Nick watched her leave, hoping that he'd done the right thing.
Eight and a half minutes later, Nick was leaning up against his Denali, watching the doors to the lab. He had clocked out and avoided talking to anyone, even though rumors of "Sidle and Stokes getting into it at PD" were already making their way into the lab. Warrick gave him a questioning look, but said nothing when Nick blew by and out to the parking lot.
Now he was waiting for Sara, and he had no idea what to do next. Talking to her was not going to be easy, if they even got past the argument stage. And that was even assuming that she showed up.
At nine minutes and forty-five seconds, Nick sighed and checked his watch. He could probably get a few hours of sleep and still be back in time to catch Ecklie, something he didn't really want to do. Still, Sara had left him no choice; it was Ecklie, or let her continue down the spiral of self destruction. With one last sigh, he turned to climb into his Denali.
"So you give me that damned ultimatum, and then you decide to leave without me?" Sara tried to hide the hurt in her voice as she walked towards his vehicle. Nick turned around, surprised at her voice.
"I didn't think you were coming," he admitted. Some of her anger seemed to have disappeared since she'd stormed off, but Nick could still see that she was upset.
"I wasn't sure I was either," she replied, glancing over at her own Denali before opening the passenger door to Nick's. "This doesn't mean I'll talk," she added hastily as they buckled up, "I'll come with you, but I won't make any promises."
Nick nodded; he hadn't expected her to give into him that easily. They drove in silence; Sara staring out at passing scenery as Nick tried to figure out what to do. He finally figured the best thing to do would be to take her back to his place. He'd make breakfast, and try to broach the subject again. That way, she could scream all she wanted, and she couldn't kick him out.
When he pulled into his driveway, Sara didn't make any move to leave the car. Nick killed the engine before rubbing his head again and turned to face her.
"Listen, Sara. I didn't do this just to be a bastard. It's not like I woke up this morning, thinking, 'Hmm, what can I do to piss Sara off today?' I care about you a lot, and I can't watch you go on like this anymore. Please, just consider that, before you make up your mind about anything?"
Sara's eyes met his for a moment, and Nick saw that she hadn't made up her mind yet. He took that as a good sign, and reached over to squeeze her hand gently. As he descended the vehicle, he knew that even though they had both calmed down, he was still in for one hell of a night.