This is the continuation/companion piece to Forty-Six Seconds. You don't have to read the other one to understand this, but you should anyways! Forgive me for any gramatical error and/or spelling errors, I wrote this kind of quick.
'Yesterday at lunch, I had a talk with Cindy,' I began. It's really a terrible place to start. I'm sitting here with my fingers entwined with his, which are far too soft to be a man's or a former killer's. My heart his pounding in my chest which I'm pretty sure he can hear. Being genetically enhanced will do that.
I can't believe I'm going to tell him this; I can't believe I actually feel it. In the beginning, I hated him. He was true Manticore, but at the same time, he wasn't. He'd do anything they told him, but he only looked out for himself. Manticore had always taught us to stick with your unit.
But after Manticore burnt down, (oops, sorry Renfro) he stuck around, even when I told him I never wanted to see him again. Every day since he came back, he's bugged the shit out of me. He's constantly irritating me, I'm pretty sure on purpose too.
And then one day, I started looking foreword to our bickering. Oh sure, I acted liked I was pissed as hell, but I loved it. I think he did too.
Anyway, back to where I started. The talk with Cindy I had at lunch turned out to be rather one-sided. I went on and on about how Alec was the most immature person in the world who would just as soon sell his soul (if we even have them) than help someone for no reward. Cindy sat patiently and waited until I was finished.
When I sat down on the bench next to her in JamPony, she patted my knee once and simply said, 'Alec naked with chocolate syrup.'
Instantly, my mind took a one way trip to the gutter. All I could think about was his tight firm body covered with golden skin… and chocolate syrup. I could feel heat seer my cheeks.
Cindy only smiled. 'That's what I thought.'
So that's how my eyes were opened. Cindy had managed to take all that frustration and … passion I was feeling about Alec and showed me what it meant. I want Alec.
Needless to say, I went straight to the space needle. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much he meant to me. I spent a lot of time up there.
Then I saw him at Crash. He looked so dejected and … hurt. I couldn't stand to see him like that, not when he usually brimmed with light.
And now we're here, in my apartment holding hands. I continue. 'She made me realize something that I've been hiding for a long time.' My eyes go back to his and wonder is displayed there. Every time I look at his face, something I never thought I'd see is always there. I can't believe how many layers he has.
'I'm in love with you,' I whisper. The seconds tick by silently. He's not saying anything, he's only staring at me like I've grown a third arm which is impossible. Manticore didn't make anything with three arms… at least, I don't think.
I've made a horrible mistake. I told him that thinking he might at least give me a reaction. Even if he yelled at me for loving him and treating him like shit; that would be a thousand times better than the blank stare on his face now.
My eyes drift down away from his chiseled face. I'm beginning to feel sick. I'm such a fool! In .25 seconds, I have completely fucked everything up.
'I shouldn't have-' but that's all I can get out before he turns my face to his and his lips are glued to mine. What the hell just happened?! Instead of freaking out on me, he's kissing me!
And if I thought his fingers were soft, I spoke too soon. His lips are like the softest breeze against my now heated lips. And he's definitely got that experience thing down.
My momentary shock dissipates and before I put any thought into it, my arms snake around him pressing myself to him. I let one hand travel up across the back of his neck to his hair. What the hell kind of conditioner does he use? No man or even woman's hair has the right to be that silky.
Bombarded with multiple sensations, I can't help but think how much better he kisses than Logan. I know it's probably the worst thing to be thinking about when I'm kissing the most beautiful man I've ever seen, but what can I say? I analyze everything and observe every detail. Curse and thank Manticore for that.
From the few brief kisses I've had with Logan, I can easily see the difference between these two men so involved with my life. Logan was safe. Something to fall back on; sturdy. That's all fine and dandy, but now that I'm kissing Alec, I know that would never be enough.
With Alec, there's heat, there's danger. There's a sense of humor. Also with Alec lies deep understanding. We know each other, almost too well. We went through the same torture, the same childhood, for lack of a better term.
Logan could never understand me the way Alec can.
Much to my dismay, he pulls back. In his eyes floods so many emotions. Uncertainty. Fear. Bliss. But, behind all of it, love. I know he loves me, but Manticore taught us not to feel, that feelings got you killed. He was at Manticore a decade longer than me.
Looking into his pained eyes, I give him the smallest smile and let my understanding show through my eyes. He relaxes. He really should relax more, but who am I to talk?
I stand pulling him with me. Numerous questions flash in his eyes, but I just smile coyly and lead him to my bedroom. What's going to happen is something I will never forget, photographic memory or not.
Morning rears its bright head and I wake to find myself wrapped around a warm body. God you people are dirty! I know exactly what you're all thinking we did from that sentence up there. Well, you filthy bastards, we didn't have sex. I'm only like that during a heat cycle. Contrary to public belief, Alec's not really like that either. He's got a beautiful heart. Come on people, it all goes back to those multiple layers he has!
Hearing his even breath and equally even heartbeat tells me he's still asleep. I take this rare opportunity to study him. He's so different when he's not talking a mile a minute and when that cocky grin isn't present. I won't lie, though, I think his cocky grin is probably the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Without all the extra worries of our everyday, and I say everyday by no means meaning normal, he's peaceful. Everything about him is serene. Except, something sad lingers about him. I think he'll always be that way; bright and shiny but, when you look closer, you can see tiny smudges of dirt marring his highly polished surface.
It's kind of fitting. He's this tarnished piece of silverware and I'm a broken toy. I laugh quietly. We're perfect for each other.
He stirs thought doesn't wake up, and pulls me closer. For all his bravado, I never pictured him big on cuddling. That's what we did all night, actually. Surrounded by his strong arms, I've never felt so safe.
'Trying to burn holes into my body with your eyes?' His deep voice startles me. So maybe he did wake up.
'If I wanted to burn holes in you, I'd grab a lighter,' I respond with our usual banter.
Finally, he opens his eyes and I'm astonished out how vibrant they are in the morning with specs and flakes of about five different colors.
He smirks at me (and I love it!). 'If you wanted it to get hot in here, all you had to do was ask.' And he wags his eyebrows for emphasis. Playfully, I slap his cheek.
'Oww,' he lets out a wounded moan. He rubs his cheek for added effect. 'I see you're resorting back to physical abuse instead of your wits.'
That comment pains me. I didn't realize how much I actually do abuse him, emotionally and physically and ever way in between.
He notices the change in my mood and worry clouds his face. 'Max?'
I can't bring myself to look at him. 'I'm sorry, Alec. I'm sorry I'm so mean to you.'
'Hey,' he says quietly, turning my chin so I have to look at him. 'I think this,' he looked down at our practically melded bodies, 'more than makes up for it,' he continues. 'Besides, I know you were just trying to look out for me. And I also know that when Maxie gives you a ton of shit, it's only because she cares.'
I smile up at him. 'That may be true, but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. And because of this between us, that's not going to stop me from kicking your ass if you piss me off.'
He chuckles. 'I wouldn't have it any other way.'
'Yesterday at lunch, I had a talk with Cindy,' I began. It's really a terrible place to start. I'm sitting here with my fingers entwined with his, which are far too soft to be a man's or a former killer's. My heart his pounding in my chest which I'm pretty sure he can hear. Being genetically enhanced will do that.
I can't believe I'm going to tell him this; I can't believe I actually feel it. In the beginning, I hated him. He was true Manticore, but at the same time, he wasn't. He'd do anything they told him, but he only looked out for himself. Manticore had always taught us to stick with your unit.
But after Manticore burnt down, (oops, sorry Renfro) he stuck around, even when I told him I never wanted to see him again. Every day since he came back, he's bugged the shit out of me. He's constantly irritating me, I'm pretty sure on purpose too.
And then one day, I started looking foreword to our bickering. Oh sure, I acted liked I was pissed as hell, but I loved it. I think he did too.
Anyway, back to where I started. The talk with Cindy I had at lunch turned out to be rather one-sided. I went on and on about how Alec was the most immature person in the world who would just as soon sell his soul (if we even have them) than help someone for no reward. Cindy sat patiently and waited until I was finished.
When I sat down on the bench next to her in JamPony, she patted my knee once and simply said, 'Alec naked with chocolate syrup.'
Instantly, my mind took a one way trip to the gutter. All I could think about was his tight firm body covered with golden skin… and chocolate syrup. I could feel heat seer my cheeks.
Cindy only smiled. 'That's what I thought.'
So that's how my eyes were opened. Cindy had managed to take all that frustration and … passion I was feeling about Alec and showed me what it meant. I want Alec.
Needless to say, I went straight to the space needle. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much he meant to me. I spent a lot of time up there.
Then I saw him at Crash. He looked so dejected and … hurt. I couldn't stand to see him like that, not when he usually brimmed with light.
And now we're here, in my apartment holding hands. I continue. 'She made me realize something that I've been hiding for a long time.' My eyes go back to his and wonder is displayed there. Every time I look at his face, something I never thought I'd see is always there. I can't believe how many layers he has.
'I'm in love with you,' I whisper. The seconds tick by silently. He's not saying anything, he's only staring at me like I've grown a third arm which is impossible. Manticore didn't make anything with three arms… at least, I don't think.
I've made a horrible mistake. I told him that thinking he might at least give me a reaction. Even if he yelled at me for loving him and treating him like shit; that would be a thousand times better than the blank stare on his face now.
My eyes drift down away from his chiseled face. I'm beginning to feel sick. I'm such a fool! In .25 seconds, I have completely fucked everything up.
'I shouldn't have-' but that's all I can get out before he turns my face to his and his lips are glued to mine. What the hell just happened?! Instead of freaking out on me, he's kissing me!
And if I thought his fingers were soft, I spoke too soon. His lips are like the softest breeze against my now heated lips. And he's definitely got that experience thing down.
My momentary shock dissipates and before I put any thought into it, my arms snake around him pressing myself to him. I let one hand travel up across the back of his neck to his hair. What the hell kind of conditioner does he use? No man or even woman's hair has the right to be that silky.
Bombarded with multiple sensations, I can't help but think how much better he kisses than Logan. I know it's probably the worst thing to be thinking about when I'm kissing the most beautiful man I've ever seen, but what can I say? I analyze everything and observe every detail. Curse and thank Manticore for that.
From the few brief kisses I've had with Logan, I can easily see the difference between these two men so involved with my life. Logan was safe. Something to fall back on; sturdy. That's all fine and dandy, but now that I'm kissing Alec, I know that would never be enough.
With Alec, there's heat, there's danger. There's a sense of humor. Also with Alec lies deep understanding. We know each other, almost too well. We went through the same torture, the same childhood, for lack of a better term.
Logan could never understand me the way Alec can.
Much to my dismay, he pulls back. In his eyes floods so many emotions. Uncertainty. Fear. Bliss. But, behind all of it, love. I know he loves me, but Manticore taught us not to feel, that feelings got you killed. He was at Manticore a decade longer than me.
Looking into his pained eyes, I give him the smallest smile and let my understanding show through my eyes. He relaxes. He really should relax more, but who am I to talk?
I stand pulling him with me. Numerous questions flash in his eyes, but I just smile coyly and lead him to my bedroom. What's going to happen is something I will never forget, photographic memory or not.
Morning rears its bright head and I wake to find myself wrapped around a warm body. God you people are dirty! I know exactly what you're all thinking we did from that sentence up there. Well, you filthy bastards, we didn't have sex. I'm only like that during a heat cycle. Contrary to public belief, Alec's not really like that either. He's got a beautiful heart. Come on people, it all goes back to those multiple layers he has!
Hearing his even breath and equally even heartbeat tells me he's still asleep. I take this rare opportunity to study him. He's so different when he's not talking a mile a minute and when that cocky grin isn't present. I won't lie, though, I think his cocky grin is probably the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Without all the extra worries of our everyday, and I say everyday by no means meaning normal, he's peaceful. Everything about him is serene. Except, something sad lingers about him. I think he'll always be that way; bright and shiny but, when you look closer, you can see tiny smudges of dirt marring his highly polished surface.
It's kind of fitting. He's this tarnished piece of silverware and I'm a broken toy. I laugh quietly. We're perfect for each other.
He stirs thought doesn't wake up, and pulls me closer. For all his bravado, I never pictured him big on cuddling. That's what we did all night, actually. Surrounded by his strong arms, I've never felt so safe.
'Trying to burn holes into my body with your eyes?' His deep voice startles me. So maybe he did wake up.
'If I wanted to burn holes in you, I'd grab a lighter,' I respond with our usual banter.
Finally, he opens his eyes and I'm astonished out how vibrant they are in the morning with specs and flakes of about five different colors.
He smirks at me (and I love it!). 'If you wanted it to get hot in here, all you had to do was ask.' And he wags his eyebrows for emphasis. Playfully, I slap his cheek.
'Oww,' he lets out a wounded moan. He rubs his cheek for added effect. 'I see you're resorting back to physical abuse instead of your wits.'
That comment pains me. I didn't realize how much I actually do abuse him, emotionally and physically and ever way in between.
He notices the change in my mood and worry clouds his face. 'Max?'
I can't bring myself to look at him. 'I'm sorry, Alec. I'm sorry I'm so mean to you.'
'Hey,' he says quietly, turning my chin so I have to look at him. 'I think this,' he looked down at our practically melded bodies, 'more than makes up for it,' he continues. 'Besides, I know you were just trying to look out for me. And I also know that when Maxie gives you a ton of shit, it's only because she cares.'
I smile up at him. 'That may be true, but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. And because of this between us, that's not going to stop me from kicking your ass if you piss me off.'
He chuckles. 'I wouldn't have it any other way.'