Another ooc 'Crawford is just a poor broken soul on the inside' little fic.
Occasional lyric thrown in from "Winter" by Tori Amos. Express your
thoughts to me, flames are welcome and wished for.
It's snowing. It has been all night, or so I concur from the thick layer that covers the ground. The pure white of perfection almost moves me. I can remember a time when the new snow used to excite me, and I would run through the heavy snowdrifts all day. Everything looks twice as beautiful coated in ice, and the world seems wonderful, for a moment. Like it does now . . . . . . crystalline and perfect. I step outside, where the cold wind whips across the blinding white. In the falling snow, I feel almost . . . . . . wistful. I step out more, almost afraid to mar the new fallen snow with any footsteps. It reminds me too much of being a child. I will tell anyone I have not a single regret in this world. I lie. There is just hardly a time I linger on the thought of something better that could have come out of my life. The world outside promises a clean slate today. From the sky falls a new opportunity, another chance. Nevertheless, it is only snow . . . . . . and snow melts. Everything is uncovered soon. Of course, when the snow melts it is a shocking rediscovery that nothing is really as beautiful as is seemed covered in ice and snow. One cannot linger on where the perfection of snow once was. After all, the sun is much more glorious than the falsehood of wonder.right? Well, no matter what, the sun does come out, and every chance melts away.one can keep on skating, but the ice wears thin.and yes, ice does break.
/Things are gonna change so fast. . . . ./
Now look where we all go. Old and jaded when everything was supposed to be wonderful. Winter was not supposed to be the best time of my life. When did everything change? How did it change so much? So many dreams . . . . . . .so many things I could have done, so much I should or should not have done. When was it that I choose the path of my life that I could not escape from? When did I lose sight of everything that was once important to me? I cannot believe that the world broke me so. I always thought I had such a solid grasp on life that nothing could sway me from what I. I am twenty-seven. Twenty-seven and still I do not know what it is to live.
/All the white horses have gone ahead/
I fall to my knees, soon drenching in the winter snow. Tears freeze before they ever leave my eyes. I have not known sunlight. I have spent forever clinging to the winter and hoping that I would not have to let go. I'm still waiting, withering away with the snowdrifts I loved so. Still I am hoping that winter will return to me, and give me her promise of one more chance. I do not want to face what has become of my life, of me.I just want to start it all over again. I gave up on this life.
I start walking. I don't know where I am going. I just walk blindly in the snow with white flying at my face and I will not stop . . . . . I walk onto ice, but still I don't stop.
/You say that things change, my dear/
*CRACK*
/Never change./
It's snowing. It has been all night, or so I concur from the thick layer that covers the ground. The pure white of perfection almost moves me. I can remember a time when the new snow used to excite me, and I would run through the heavy snowdrifts all day. Everything looks twice as beautiful coated in ice, and the world seems wonderful, for a moment. Like it does now . . . . . . crystalline and perfect. I step outside, where the cold wind whips across the blinding white. In the falling snow, I feel almost . . . . . . wistful. I step out more, almost afraid to mar the new fallen snow with any footsteps. It reminds me too much of being a child. I will tell anyone I have not a single regret in this world. I lie. There is just hardly a time I linger on the thought of something better that could have come out of my life. The world outside promises a clean slate today. From the sky falls a new opportunity, another chance. Nevertheless, it is only snow . . . . . . and snow melts. Everything is uncovered soon. Of course, when the snow melts it is a shocking rediscovery that nothing is really as beautiful as is seemed covered in ice and snow. One cannot linger on where the perfection of snow once was. After all, the sun is much more glorious than the falsehood of wonder.right? Well, no matter what, the sun does come out, and every chance melts away.one can keep on skating, but the ice wears thin.and yes, ice does break.
/Things are gonna change so fast. . . . ./
Now look where we all go. Old and jaded when everything was supposed to be wonderful. Winter was not supposed to be the best time of my life. When did everything change? How did it change so much? So many dreams . . . . . . .so many things I could have done, so much I should or should not have done. When was it that I choose the path of my life that I could not escape from? When did I lose sight of everything that was once important to me? I cannot believe that the world broke me so. I always thought I had such a solid grasp on life that nothing could sway me from what I. I am twenty-seven. Twenty-seven and still I do not know what it is to live.
/All the white horses have gone ahead/
I fall to my knees, soon drenching in the winter snow. Tears freeze before they ever leave my eyes. I have not known sunlight. I have spent forever clinging to the winter and hoping that I would not have to let go. I'm still waiting, withering away with the snowdrifts I loved so. Still I am hoping that winter will return to me, and give me her promise of one more chance. I do not want to face what has become of my life, of me.I just want to start it all over again. I gave up on this life.
I start walking. I don't know where I am going. I just walk blindly in the snow with white flying at my face and I will not stop . . . . . I walk onto ice, but still I don't stop.
/You say that things change, my dear/
*CRACK*
/Never change./