A.N: So this is my first fanfic ever, so please review even if it is bad. Please let me know. This is my contribution to Jily October so enjoy.
A.N: Ok, so I just made a few changes. People pointed out some mistakes here and there but I hope they're all fix now. I badly need a beta reader.

DISCLAIMER: No I am not JK Rowling, nor have I ever been her. All characters are hers.

She was sitting in her usual table beside the window, her startling green eyes scanning the page in front of her at a ferocious pace. She was humming a soft tune while she read and drumming her quill against the library table absentmindedly. Every so often she would bite her lip as she came across something she didn't know by heart and scribble it down on her parchment. Her long, wavy, red hair was curtaining her face but he knew that she had a look of utter concentration while she studied. You see, James Potter knew everything there is to know about Lily Evans. He knew exactly where to look when he set out to find her that summer evening, he knew exactly which section of the library she would be in –charms has always been her favourite subject- and he knew when she needed to do something fun even if she didn't know it herself.

James arrived in the library ten minutes earlier, but he continued to watch her from afar. This was something James could never tire of. Although he claimed to know her better than anyone else, and he did, he loved to find out the little things he somehow missed and he knew there will always be something new to learn about her.

In his first year, James found out that Lily was a smart girl but was incredibly stuck up in his opinion and was very quick to judge people. Of course he didn't like that one bit because she though James was a mean, selfish boy who only looked out for himself.

In his second year, James found out that Lily had an extremely bad taste in subjects and an even worse taste in friends since she had an obsession with Charms and Potions and was best friends with a complete slime ball who was later declared as the Marauder's public enemy number one.

In his third year, James found out Lily was kind and caring to those in need, she was often seen helping any kids that got on the bad side of a prank by him and his friends and was always there if someone wanted to talk about their problems. She was fiercely loyal to her friends, even if they were in Slytherin and he admitted maybe she wasn't so bad.

In his fourth year, James learned Lily smelled like vanilla and she used strawberry scented shampoo. He also realised that the young 'Evans' girl had pretty eyes and a nice smile. This revelation confused him.

In fifth year, James saw Lily in a whole new light. In the end of fourth year and during the summer James was driven mad with hormones, as were all the other boys coming into fifth year. As Sirius had a thing for leggy blondes, Remus had a thing for smart brunettes and Peter didn't really have a type, James was suddenly enraptured by a certain red-head with startling green eyes. By the end of that year, James had accepted the fact the he had a thing for 'Evans' but the feeling was definitely not mutual - no matter how hard he tried -.

In sixth year James gained a bad habit of staring at his crush from afar. This opened his eyes to the inner workings of Lily Evans. She got up early every morning and was always down at breakfast at half past seven. She liked to sit by herself and read a muggle book – it was always the same book, something about a girl named Alice and a place called Wonderland – until her friends joined her at eight. Although she loved Potions she loathed the double on a Wednesday morning because Professor Slughorn partnered her up with her ex best friend who basically told her she was scum at the end of their fifth year. She laughed a lot around her two best friends, Zara Thompson and Mary MacDonald. She had tea with Professor Slughorn on a Thursday afternoon just because he liked the company and always stood up for him and his 'Slug Club'. She never talked much about her family but he knew she had a sister who she was constantly fighting with and her father died when she was 13. She loved to listen to muggle music. Her reason was that it was the only thing she could always remember from the muggle world when she was in school. Her ambition was to become Head Girl and finally show everyone how incredible she really was even if she was a muggleborn. The Slytherins and their pure-blooded ideas about the world hurt her more than she let on. She could conjure an amazing stinging hex – he learned this from experience -. She was a stickler for the rules but every once in a while she liked to let loose. She had an unhealthy sweet tooth. Although she loved being a prefect she found the monthly prefect meetings tedious. He learned how to make her laugh and smile and even tolerate being in his company He learned how to make her see he wasn't a terrible guy, just one who wants some adventure and fun in his life, and finally learned when to stop before it became too much. But most of all, James realised, in his sixth year, he was falling in love with Lily Evans.

Even when Lily's iciness towards him had melted a little during their sixth year, she declined all his offers or pleas to go on a date for him. During the summer and beginning of his seventh and final year of Hogwarts, James attempted to get over his infatuation with Lily and move on. He dated blondes, brunettes, girls with blue eyes, girls with brown eyes, and girls who loved quiddich as much as he did but he was lucky if one of them lasted over a week. He was always drawn back to the red-haired, green-eyed girl. He and Lily had gotten close over the past year as both were announced as head boy and head girl of Hogwarts. Lily was a sure thing but James was a wild card. Lily showed him the ropes and James showed Lily how to really enjoy being friends with the Marauders. He knew with every laugh, every patrol, every study session that he was slowly but surely falling deeper and deeper in love with her.

It happened during the Christmas holidays, James and Sirius and Lily and Zara all decided to stay at Hogwarts. It was by far the best Christmas he has had in his life. On New Years Eve, they were all on the grounds, overlooking the black lake and watching the fireworks from a far while chanting the countdown... 10..9..8….3..2..1! Lily leaned over and ruffled Sirius' hair wishing him a happy new year while James attacked Zara and engulfed her in a bear hug. After being pushed off of Zara by his already drunk best friend, so that he could plant a kiss on the blushing blonde, James took his seat beside Lily. As he was thinking about what to say, Lily leaned over and kissed James' cheek and wished him a happy new year. James managed to return the wishes and made a dramatic show of kissing her hand, but in his mind, alarm bells were going off. It was at that exact moment when Lily Evans innocently brushed her lips against his cheek when James finally realised that that was it. Lily Evans was the only girl for him and there was no going back.

Charms was their last NEWT exam to take and it was on Monday. James was leaning against a random bookshelf on a Saturday afternoon watching Lily study for the exams.

"Enough Evans, it causes me physical pain to see you stuck in a book on a Saturday." James commented while he slid into the seat opposite her with a smirk ever-present on his face.

Lily rolled her eyes without even bothering to look at him "Well Potter, we have exams and I, for one, need to study to get good marks. Unlike some people who just barely attend their classes and still compete for the highest marks in the whole goddamn school." she replied

"Bullshit Lily! Charms is your best subject and I know we have exams but it's on Monday." he said, not missing a beat. "Come on, let's do something fun."

"Not today James, I have to study and we're graduating soon and…"

"Yes we are, my dear friend, and soon we won't be coming back here so let's do something fun while we can, yeah?" he bargained grabbing her books and putting them in her bag.

"What? James, no! I can't..."

"Oh but you can, it's easy. Let's go." he cut in again. He wasn't taking no for an answer.

"But, James, the exam..." she tried to reason but stopped putting up a fight

"Is on Monday. I promise you can spend all day tomorrow studying if you want," he smiled.

She looked at him, considering her options. Finally she sighed in defeat. "Ok, what are we doing?" she gave him a challenging smile, and he shot her a mischievous smirk.

He waggled his eyebrows, "just you wait and see." With that, he sent her book bag up to the Gryffindor common room with a flick of his wand, grabbed her hand and, quite literally, ran from the library.

James never really thought about what he was going to do during their 'fun evening' but he wasn't too worried. So, in the spur of the moment, he dragged her out onto the grounds and began to walk. As faith would have it, it had been a glorious day out that afternoon and the sun was just setting. They idly chatted about different things: how the exams were going, how they felt about leaving Hogwarts, what did they want to do outside of Hogwarts and were they excited about graduation? The one topic they completely avoided was the one that everyone was avoiding. The war. They soon began telling stories and memories they had from their school days and some memories that made them hate each other in the past made their sides sore from laughing now.

"That was the best." he laughed after recalling October two years previous, when the Marauders charmed all the pumpkins to spit out sweets to everyone but the Slytherins. Unlucky for the Slytherins, all they got was a huge helping of 'pumpkins guts'. "They had no idea what hit them and Moony charmed them to smell something awful for ages."

"Remus helped!? That was horrible, I was walking by with Se—erm, Snape and I got it all over my clothes. They smelt so bad I had to throw them out!" She cried, glaring at James but her smile told him she wasn't angry.

"Well I know Padfoot and I are smart but we were never the brains behind the operations, Moony was. And I'm sure you got some candy." he winked, avoiding the topic of her ex best friend. He watched her face when she slipped up and nearly said his name, the hurt and betrayal flashed in her eyes but she quickly concealed it. She did a great job at hiding anything that truly bothers her and most wouldn't see anything was the matter, but most people weren't James.

"I got a month supply of chocolate fudge." she stuck her tongue out at him

James chuckled at her proud expression.

They walked all over the grounds, around the lake, by the greenhouses, past the Owlery, and waved at Hagrid while passing his hut.

Before either knew it, James was walking the all too familiar trail into the Forbidden Forest. He and the Marauders had the very best memories inside the forest on their monthly nights out with Moony. James then realised that Lily was no longer following him. He turned and saw her standing on the spot looking around anxiously.

"Lils, is everything ok?" he asked, not sure what was wrong with her. 'She was fine a minute ago' he thought.

"We aren't supposed to be in here. I heard that all kind of creatures are in here..." she said in a small voice, almost scared. Lily prided herself on being a Gryffindor. She was brave, she wasn't one to get knocked down by the Slytherin's taunts and she was certainly not scared of much… but, of course, the Forbidden Forest must be forbidden for a reason.

"Woah Lily! Please tell me you aren't saying what I think you're saying? You haven't been in the forest?" he exclaimed, looking horrified.

She frowned in reply and shook her head.

A wicked smile spread across James' face "Brilliant. Now this is where the fun begins."

Lily opened her mouth to argue but he cut in "There is no point in arguing with me on this Lily, we are leaving here in less than two weeks and you will know every secret passage way, hidden corridor and trail in the forest that I can show you."

She looked around at the trees surrounding her and back to him, eyes wide. They had walked for at least five minutes before she stopped and was certain she would get lost if she tried to get out on her own.

He smiles, genuinely this time. "Trust me?"

"No." she smile back

He rolled his eyes but continued on into the forest, with Lily hot on his heels.

"You don't need to be afraid Lils, I'll protect you!" he declared at the top of his lungs and swung his arm around her shoulders. They were now slightly off the trail but James, who knew the forest like the back of his hand, was bringing her to a small clearing he knew wasn't too far away.

"James!" Lily swatted at him angrily, but not letting go of his shirt. "Don't be so loud, anything could here you!" she was already nervous and now he was bringing her deeper into the forest, off the trail, to only Merlin knows where.

"Honestly Evans, do you really think I would lead you into the forbidden forest if I though for just one second that anything would harm you?" he asked

She bit her lip in response.

No she didn't think that. She doesn't know when it started, when James became one of her best friends. She began to see the change in him in sixth year, one day he became James instead of Potter and she found herself actually enjoying being in his company. It was his ever-present grin, his infectious laugh and his carefree attitude to almost everything that made her want to be around him. She was sick of being treated as a freak: by her sister during the holidays, by all the pompous purebloods who thought they were better than her because of their blood, and by the one person she thought she could always rely on. He was one of the only people she could be herself around and he would still see her as this amazing person. When she found out that James was Head Boy, she wasn't nearly as angry or shocked as she would have been a year previous. She used to think that James was a good for nothing, bullying toe rag with no respect for anyone other than his friends. Of course, like he always does, James proved her wrong. Once she began spending time with James, and the other Marauders for that matter, she began to see the side of them that made three quarters of the school (excluding Slytherins) fall in love with them.

Sirius was the messer. He was always up for a laugh, was cheery and, unlike his name, was very childlike. Remus had been her friend for years. He was smart, kind and someone you could confide in. When Lily found out about his secret during a patrol in sixth year, he only improved in her eyes. Not only was he smart and kind, he was also incredibly brave and strong. Peter was quite shy compared to his best mates, but he was kind and sometimes come out with the strangest but funniest things. And James surprised her the most. He wasn't the boy she used to think he was and, even now, is ashamed at how she treated him for five years. He used to drive her insane with his huge, dramatic proposals of a date and each time she would turn him down. He must have got the message because he hasn't asked her out since the train ride home in at the end of sixth year. He was unbelievably loyal to his friends. He was brave and at times incredibly stupid when he tried to defend something he loves; whether it is Quiddich or Slytherins taunting Mary or her. He always did his best to keep everyone's spirits up, especially now with the war going on. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. He was loved by almost everyone and loved easily. He never let anything get him down and involuntarily wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was handsome and smart and was toned from all the Quiddich he plays. When he was with her, he was a perfect gentleman; he was sweet, funny, he was a fantastic friend and really was an over all amazing guy.

Lily felt the inevitable happening; she was falling for James Potter.

Oh Merlin no! She had admitted to Zara and Mary that she might have a tiny bit of a crush on her fellow Head Boy but falling for him? This couldn't happen… she, Lily Evans, couldn't be falling for James Potter, the bane of her existence for five years of her life, the arrogant boy who pranked anyone he felt like, just because he could.

But, Lily thought, he isn't that boy anymore. He is kind and sweet and funny and one of my best mates. Lily was torn. Of course this would happen, she thought he always said it would. And now it did, he didn't even fancy her back; he hasn't so much as playfully commented that they would be 'perfect for each other' like he used to. She couldn't win, could she?

"Earth to Lily?" James repeated waving a hand in front of her vacant face. At the movement, Lily jumped back.

"Merlin James, you scared me. What were you saying?" she said, still distracted by something and he wasn't sure what it was.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his voice coated with concern at the look on her face. She nodded. He smiled gently at her "Thought I lost you for a second there. Anyway here we are." he inclined his head forward pointing it in the direction of a clearing.

Lily moved forward and entered the clearing. It was stunning; there were the most beautiful wild flowers growing everywhere and there was a fallen tree, which James had taken a seat on. She turned her attention up to the night sky and she saw hundreds of tiny, shining stars. A happy smile took over her features and the internal battle of the pros and cons of falling for James was forgotten.

James followed her every movement with his eyes, entranced by the beauty that is Lily Evans. He took a seat on the fallen tree and waited for her to join him.

"It's beautiful, it really is." she breathed after haven taken a seat beside James.

"And you thought the forest was scary." he teased nudging her in the sides.

Her eyes narrowed into slits, "are you making fun of me?" she asked in a hostile voice.

He laughed with an "obviously Evans". In retaliation, she lightly punched him on his shoulder before returning her gaze to the sky. She gasped and turned excitedly to James, who was quite content in watching her.

"A shooting star, look James!" she grinned. He followed her gaze and, indeed seen a shooting star, and another one and another one.

"It's a meteor shower." he observed

"Oh yes! How could I have forgotten?" she said, mostly to herself and hit her forehead with the palm of her hand "Professor Waveril told me their was one coming last week."

"I forgot you still do Astronomy, I thought it was rather boring but to each its own." he commented.

Five minutes later, the Head Boy and Girl were lying on the cloaks in the clearing, and watching in amazement at the night sky. Both had fallen under a comfortable silence. James switched his gaze from the amazing site above him to the even more amazing girl lying beside him. She looks deep in thought, somewhere far away. Her eyes were unfocused, she had a serene smile on his lips, the tip of her nose and her cheeks were tinted a rosy pink and her red hair spilled around her and gently blowing in the wind. Subconsciously, James moved closer to her. His hand brushed hers and she turned to look at him, widening the smile. He returned the smile while his hand brushed hers once again. He noticed they were very cold.

"Are you cold? Do you want to head back?" he asked taking her hand in his and rubbing it between his. He silently prayed that she would say she didn't want to move because the last thing he wanted to do was leave here.

"No, can we please stay here for a little while longer?" she pleaded, thinking he wanted to leave.

"Sure, whatever you want," he gave her hand a squeeze and she returned it.

"I think they are absolutely breathtaking." she said in a quiet voice after a few minutes of silence talking about the stars streaking across the black sky.

"Is that why you like Astronomy so much," he asked, "because of the beauty of it all?"

She shrugged "Kinda, but mostly because no matter where I am, in the magical world or the muggle world, I know that the stars are the same stars everyone sees. I never feel a divide when it comes to them. They belong in both worlds and I will never have to choose which version I like better, the ones at home or the ones at Hogwarts, because they are the same everywhere. Oh Merlin that sounds pathetic, just forget what I just said." she covered her face with the hand that wasn't being held by James'.

"Don't say that," he leaned forward and uncovered her face. Her emerald eyes were shining and staring into his. "Nothing you say could ever be pathetic." his voice softened. "Actually, that's one of the many things that amazes me about you; the fact that you hate to choose between your two homes and you always search for a common ground. Like how, in your spare time you read muggle novels, and for Easter you get your mum to send you muggle candy and how you sing muggle songs all the time because it reminds you of home. And I'll bet that when you are at home, you read the Daily Prophet or your textbooks and things like that to remind you of the magical world."

Lily blinked up at James, awestruck at how much he knew about her. "How did you know all that stuff?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

"I pay attention." he whispered while rubbing circles on the back of her hands.

Lily felt warmth flood through her body. Merlin I want to kiss him… No, bad Lily don't think that and the internal battle was back again. James Potter was going to be the death of her, she just knew it. Looking up into his hazel eyes as her leaned over her she completely forgot about the phenomenal night sky up above. All she could see and feel was him. He was so close that she felt the heat of his body, the smell of his cologne was everywhere and all she could focus on was what he was doing to her hands.

James kept his eyes locked onto hers. He could smell the scent of vanilla from her skin. All he wanted in the world was to lean down and kiss her but he was terrified he would lose what they had, that he would lose her. He came to terms with the thought that Lily would never feel the same way towards him as he feels for her. He decided that he would rather have Lily as a friend than not have her at all. He couldn't face his life if she wasn't in it so he decided he couldn't mess anything up in fear she would walk away forever. This decision was harder than it seemed. Everyday he see's her and all he wants to do is be around her, hold her hand, kiss her, just drink her in. The desire to tell her how he feels gets so bad that he can't breathe. If only he could just say it to her, just once. He didn't tell anyone that he was in love with her, not even Sirius, yet he was sure he knew.

"We'd better get back." Lily whispered, breaking his thought. She was looking away from him and at their entwined hands lying on her stomach.

"Yeah," was all he replied, his eyes too, on their hands.

Neither made the first move to separate their hands. Lily wanted to get away before she did something stupid. He was absolutely intoxicating. James didn't want to move an inch and just stay in the clearing. After several moments, Lily gently removed her hand from his and he moved to stand. He helped her up and put her cloak securely around her shoulders. Again, he got caught up in her eyes while she watched him. She moved to turn away and begin walking back when he felt his arm shoot out to stop her. He took a breathe 'well here goes nothing' he thought

"Lils, I need to tell you something. I've needed to tell you something for a long time now..." he began, not knowing how he was going to explain everything.

"Can't it wait until were back in the castle?" she asked. James caught a trace of hope in her voice.

He took another breathe and gave her a small smile "Sorry but no."

She nodded slightly and turned to face him, giving him her full attention

"Look Lils, this is… you're not going to like what I'm about to say but it has to be said," a look of worry flashed in her eyes "I… what you said earlier about graduating this year and not coming back, well, that means I wont have another opportunity to tell you this in the future. You will probably be a successful healer and I'll be in training to be an Auror and you'll probably find the person who deserves all the love you have inside of you and be truly happy. And you should be happy, I mean you are an incredible person; you're the most beautiful girl I have ever met, you're smart, kind, funny, you amaze me everyday, you made me the happiest guy in the world when you agreed to let me into your life. Lily you made me want to be better, you made me into the man I am today. Before you I was a boy, a young immature prat but now, because of you, I am a better person."

"James, where are you going with this?" Lily asked, a quiver in her voice.

He ruffled his hair. "This isn't easy for me Lils, this is the first time I have ever said this and I don't want to upset you and…"

"Just say it, whatever it is you need to say. I won't be upset."

He took both her hands in his and stared into her eyes, catching her gaze. "Lily Evans, every since fifth year you have amazed me. I was infatuated with you for years. But now, it's not just a crush anymore. You are the most important thing in my life right now. When I'm around you, you take all my worries away and when I'm not, I feel like I'm missing something, like I'm missing a vital organ or something" he let out a breathy laugh "What im trying to say Lily, is that I'm in love with you. Pure and simple. And it's not puppy love or anything like that, I mean it. I love you, and I just couldn't let you graduate without knowing."

He never broke eye contact. Her eyes were wide and she had shock written all over face, she looked so beautiful. Fuck it. He closed the small distance between them, catching her lips in his. He gently moved his hand to cup her cheek, keeping hold of one of her hands. Her free hand rested on his shoulder. He gently moved his lips against hers, while she seemed to be frozen. After a moment he slowly pulled away to look at her expression. Her eyes, which had fluttered shut, opened slowly.

'Oh god, what just happened?' Lily asked herself. 'That shouldn't have happened, he shouldn't have did that!' she thought 'that shouldn't have happened'.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said. 'Oh no! Did I just say that out loud?'

James closed his eyes and looked towards the ground. 'Of course she didn't want me to do that, when has she ever said she wanted me to kiss her,' he felt stupid for doing it and even more stupid for getting his hopes up. He tried to tell himself he should have known but hearing her say it, broke his heart a little.

She saw the downtrodden look on his face and it literally broke her heart. Who was she kidding, the entire night she was making up pros and cons for James, and the pros always won. She had wanted him to kiss her, and desperately wanted him to do it again. "James…" she said hesitantly

"No, you don't have to Lils," he cut in "I know you didn't want to hear it and I know I shouldn't have taken advantage of you then. I am truly sorry Lily. I just wanted to tell you, so you know that no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you," and with that he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. He gave her a weak smile and began to make his way over to the other side of the clearing.

He was almost out of the clearing until she snapped out of her trance and ran after him, calling his name.

"James please stop, wait!" she reached him and grabbed his arm to stop him.

His face was neutral, not showing any sign of emotion. Usually James wore his heart on his sleeve; Lily just hoped she hadn't done any damage to it.

"We'd better get back, its way past curfew. I'd understand if you'd rather I didn't join you for patrols tomorrow or breakfast for that matter…." He trailed off, not sure what to say. His voice was completely monotone.

"What? Why would you think I'd want that! And right now I don't give a damn about curfew… will you please stop walking James!" her eyes were pleading with him. Right now, all James wanted to do was get to his dorm, where he'd be free to go through what was going on in his head and what he was feeling. It felt a lot like a broken heart. He stopped walking.

She walked around so she was directly in front of him and held his gaze. "Please listen. What I said there was completely stupid and out of context, believe me," he didn't say a word, but something flickered across his face. "You might have noticed I've been a bit out of sorts tonight and it's because I think I might have feelings for you. Strong feelings that I've never felt before about someone else. And I was worried because I thought you had gotten over your crush on me since you haven't asked be out since last year and I thought that maybe you saw me as just a friend like you see Zara or Mary." she opened her mouth to say more but he cut her off

"How could you think that? Lily, I've been mad about you for years, why would I stop when I got to know you? I just didn't want to drive you away with all the unnecessary Hogsmeade proposals."

"How was I supposed to know? I never really thought that you actually liked me, I just thought you only wanted to date me because I was the one girl who wasn't falling at your feet." He began to protest but she covered his mouth with her hand "Obviously I know better now." She removed the hand covering his mouth and waited for him to say something.

"So, what exactly does that mean?" he seemed nervous asking the question. Lily could see the hope in his eyes.

She smiled the smile she only wore around him. She reached up on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his. For a moment she thought that he wasn't going to kiss her back but then he response. His arm immediately went to her back, pulling her closer to him and his other hand caressed her cheek. One of her hands found its way to his hair and the other rested on his chest. Their lips moved fiercely against one another, both wanting more. This kiss was different from the one before, there was fire, passion and a little desperation in it coming from both Lily and James. James backed Lily up until she was pressed between a tree and him. His hot mouth moved from her lips, to her jaw and down her neck, sucking on her skin. Lily had never felt anything like it before. Sure she had many boyfriends in the past but James was something completely new. Everywhere he touched burned, his mouth was doing marvelous things to her neck and she never wanted it to end. His mouth made its way back to her lips and he kissed her with everything he had. After a few minutes, or was it a few hours, the kiss slowed down. It became a slow, soft, sweet kiss; a lovers kiss. James pulled away, far enough to look at Lily. She smiled at him, the most glorious thing he had ever seen.

They stood, foreheads resting together, looking at each other for a few moments until Lily involuntarily shivered against the night's cold. He wrapped his arm around her waist and began walking back to the castle. She never felt so happy than she was right then in his arms; she felt complete.

"You still want to spend the rest of the day studying tomorrow?" he whispered into her ear.

Lily giggled "Nawh, like you said, Charms is my best subject. Anyway, I can think of something much more interesting to do." and with that she leaned up and kissed him soundly.