I dont own transformers but i did stay at a holiday inn express last night. (thats so corny)
Following the Death of Megatron, the government managed to keep things hush for about a week. Too many people were there and there was too much evidence being leaked to the public; Home movies, cell phone pictures, you name it, it was on CNN. Since then the Autobots have become media icons, constantly sought after by reporters and paparazzi alike.
Thanks to a deal with the military not to disclose any further national security information, Ratchet, Ironhide and Optimus prime were built a large complex where they could live comfortably, and shielded from the public. Bumblebee stopped in for a visit every couple of days to catch up and rant about Sam's father. With the Decepticons dormant, things seemed to be going well.
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The loud whine of a buzz saw filled the complex. Ratchet was hard at work in his shop, cutting lengths of industrial pipe. Nobody knew what he had been working on for the past week, whatever it was he kept veiled in his personal quarters. Much speculation as to what it was floated around the complex. Ironhide thought it was a sculpture, Optimus was absolutely certain it was some sort of attachment to his vehicle form. Whatever it was, Ratchet wouldn't even talk about it. When the bell rung, nobody was surprised.
It was the end of the month, the time when the eccentric Daniel Goldberg, self proclaimed marketing king, would stop by and pitch endorsement deals to the Autobots. Goldberg had become their manager, of sorts. He was the one who gave the media an 'inside scoop' about anything concerning the Bot's, and was involved in the contracting of the land they now lived on. Ratchet put his work aside, Ironhide stepped out of the firing range and Optimus grudgingly joined them in the entrance hall. When Goldberg entered he was carrying several poster boards under his arm and was alive with his usual loud, exaggerated greetings.
"Ironhide, hey buddy nice to see ya!" He would always jokingly offer a handshake, and more than once Ironhide had the desire to take the humans hand and crush it. "Ratchet my man looking good!" He flashed a thumbs up at the medic who forced a smile. "And who could forget, the chief!" He patted his hand on Optimus's foot several times. "Hello Daniel. It is a pleasure to see you again." Optimus lied. He gestured to the center of the room. "What is it you have for us this month?"
Daniel rubbed his hands together and began to snicker.He put the posterboard's on the floor and left one in his hand, not yet showing the printed side to the Robots. "Okay guys i finally have something you can say yes to.Oh i am really excited about this, i think you will be to." Goldberg smiled widely, being way too enamored with his own idea. "What does Batman have that you don't have?" Ratchet interjected. "Batman is not real, Goldberg." Daniel ignored this remark and proceeded to vocalized a drum roll with his lips that should have ended sooner, and when he stopped and turned the poster board he raised his right hand in the air. "Tada!" On the poster board were complex sketches of some sort of multi-pod car, the Chevrolet logo all over the place.
"Autobots, I give you the Automobile! Now you can get to fighting crime in totally hip, stupid-cool style!" His eyes went wide. "Word up homies!" If one thing could be said about Daniel, it was that he had alot of enthusiasm. Alot.
"Daniel.We don't need a car, we turn into cars." Optimus said, and was joined by Ratchet. "I'm not sure you could liscene the word 'Automobile' either. You are aware that word exists right?" Daniel paused. "Stupid idea, terrible i didnt come up with it myself, damn interns!" He tossed the poster board off to the side. "Okay this next one you are really going to eat up." The next board had a sketch of something that resembled a cross between a guitar and a crossbow.
"No." Optimus said instantly. "But i-" Daniel attempted to explain "No." Optimus did not even want to know. Daniel threw the board down in frustration. "You guys are killing me here!" He began to yell, waving his arms up in the air. "You refuse interviews, you wont go out without a disguise, you wont do anything at all! I hate to say it but your really going to look like some prima-donna's unless you embrace the public!" More out of annoyance than anything, Optimus said "Fine."
Ratchet and Ironhide snapped their heads to face their leader. "What else have you got. We'll do it. But only one thing. Ever." Daniel smiled and jerked out his shoulders, fixing his bow tie. "Okay guys i saved the best for last..." He picked up the third poster board with the words 'TRANSFORMERS:THE MOVIE' painted on. Optimus lowered his head, and in the most defeated tone uttered. "Okay."
Ratchet slammed his head into his palms, Ironhide struggled to keep from screaming. Daniel brought his fist down quickly in victory and winked at Optimus. "You wont regret this chief, i promise!"
If Autobots had any tangible pride, it had all vanished from the room. What remained was a group of very, very scared robots.
coming up...
Brad pitt screen tests!
Sponsorship-crazed bumblebee!
and more...