THE SPELLING TEST

So I thought about this while I was rereading "Olympian Bedtime Stories." This is a one-shot. Please R+R! And I don't own anything, by the way!

Sorry if it totally sucks!

ARES' POV

Don't get me wrong. I love Aphrodite with a passion. But she's just so…I don't know…stupid sometimes. Strike that: like all the time!

I only say that because I was looking over some paperwork she filled out about our godly taxes and stuff.

GODLY TAXES

Names: AIRES AND AFRODITEE

Ages: 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000 gazillion years old

Place of residence: I don't know. Ask Athena; she's pretty darn smart.

APHRODITE'S POV

I was fixing my hair when Ares burst into the bathroom. "Hey, babe. When you're done with that crap, come downstairs for a moment. There's something I'd like to do."

So when I finished my makeup and stuff, I went downstairs, still doing my hair. Ares was sitting at the head of the kitchen table, Athena sitting at another end, and Hera sitting at another end.

"Hi, guys!" I yelled. "Spa day?"

"No, Aphrodite," Hera answered. "We're here to check on your spelling habits."

"Chicky-poo, I can spell real good," I replied.

"Well, Aphrodite," Athena said, "by looking over this paperwork, it seems you need some spelling help. I'm going to give you all a test, and we'll see who scores the highest." A piece of paper appeared in front of her. "We're going to do this spelling bee style. Everyone up against the wall. Aphrodite, you're last. Hera, you're first."

We got in line.

ATHENA'S POV

I glanced at my list. "All right, Hera. Your word is GODDESS."

"G-O-D-D-E-S-S. Goddess," Hera spelled.

"Correct. Ares, your word is WARRIOR."

"W-A-R-R-I-O-R. Warrior," Ares spelled.

"Correct." I glanced nervously at Aphrodite. "All right, stupid. Your word is THE."

"Can you use it in a sentence?" Aphrodite asked.

"Before you went to bed last night, you went to THE bathroom."

"Are you spying on me?" she questioned, looking angry.

"No! It was just an example!"

"Uh…R-Q-94. The."

I shook my head and wanted to throw up because she was that stupid. Of course, I thought Ares was kind of stupid, too, but not as stupid as the goddess of love and beauty in front of me!

"Hera, spell CHARIOT." Hera spelled it. "Good. Ares, spell ARTEMIS." Ares spelled her name. "Good. Aphrodite, spell your name."

"Q-A-F-F-R-O-W-D-D-I-Y-T-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E," Aphrodite recited.

"Where did you get the Q from?" asked Hera.

"Well, it's silent. See, that's the whole point. You don't pronounce the Q."

"Ares and Hera have proven to be smarter than you," I told Aphrodite. "Of course, there is one last resort." I smacked her across the head a few good times. "Now, spell your name."

"A-P-H-R-O-D-I-T-E," she recited perfectly.

"Hit her again," said Ares excitedly.

I sighed and hit Aphrodite again across the head a few times. "Spell flower."

"8-3-4-5-7-4," she recited stupidly.

"Ugh," I said. "Ares, I think I know what you must do. Right before she writes something, give her a good slap across the head."

I left their palace after that.

ARES' POV

A year later, I did what Athena suggested. I didn't let the crazy blonde write anything down, but when I finally did, I hit her across the head. It seemed to work. But then I made the mistake of beating her head against the table when she asked me for her makeup kit!