Really short entry...wrote this after taking a major test at school. Again for someone special so...yeah. Enjoy XD
It was hard, hearing the news from her. I was surprised that you still kept my number, more surprised when she called me. It was just the way I wanted to end the day, cuddled in my sofa with some wine, when she calls crying on the phone. She said that you drowned in the city pond. I remember when we would dance in the dark around it; you were a hopeless romantic back then.
I quietly agree with her as she rants on speakerphone about how you treated her. I try not cry, the tears burn like fire down my face. What the hell were you doing at the pond? I would always thought you would have gotten shot or something, but that was before you left and I thought we would be together.
"They said he was druuuunk!" she screamed/wailed on the other end. That explains a lot...I guess it was my fault for introducing you to vodka, huh?
Her voice screeches like a banshee on acid, you could have really done better. But that's my opinion. I turned on the television, volume already on mute with subtitles, her babble like faint white noise in my ear.
"Heeeeeeeeee neverrrrrr loooooooved me-he!" slams into my eardrums as her sobs start over. My small wineglass was replaced by the bottle, the burgundy liquid tickling my throat on its way down.
"Like, he was all, like, 'be truthful' and stuff".
Sob.
"And, like, so I told him, like about, Jared the guy I was, like, seeing, like behind his back."
Sob again. I can't believe you left me...for her.
"So, like, he started, like freaking out!"
Sobsobsob…she was really giving me a headache right now. "Huh...really?" I asked feigning interest. She could be smarter than she sounds and realize that I didn't give a damn about her, but that I doubt.
"I'm pretty sure, like; you were so okay when, like, he told you that we were, like, dating each other."
What. I blinked, hoping it was the alcohol impairing my hearing.
"I mean, like, you must have been so cool about it, right? Like-"
Click.
A bubble of happiness rose to my head as the dial tone echoed through the room. I was not okay when he told me he was leaving. I was confused. Sad. Fucking pissed. The only answer he gave me when I asked why was 'I'm bored'. I don't remember anything after that, only flashes of broken things and the front door slamming shut.
I cuddled deeper into the couch, my depression clawing its way back to me from the darkened corner of my mind.
It was here before, sitting like present on my bed just waiting to be opened when I awoke to the cold pillowcase and the note on top of it. I should have seen it coming, your empty words and eyes that seemed only half there.
I leave the room with the television still on, another thing to distract me tomorrow if I do get out of bed. The darkness in the bedroom seemed to pulse with life, gentle fingertips that wiped away heartbroken tears. The depression waited, it was good at that, in the corner of the room. Ready to pounce as soon as my eyes open to the now colorless world.
I can still smell the scent of your hair on the bed, the only thing next to some memories (half of them probably gone by now) you let me keep when you went away.
I remember when you said that we would die together, a flashy double suicide like Romeo and Juliet.
But…I don't have the courage to take the dagger to my heart and join you forever, so I'll lay in the dark and hope it's enough.